im in a very complex situation.

ill try to keep this brief, because i need advice.

6 months ago, a woman age 40, lena, subletted the apartment upstairs from this ukrainian guy, who was renting from my mom, as i rent from my mom. she is from belarus. i am polish. she and i both hated the guy so we got to know each other on that basis.

i was very attracted to her, but we would just drink and smoke together occasionally, once in a while she would rest her head on my shoulder.

the plot thickened when she tried to hook me up with one of her young freinds, who was my age. the girl visited from new york at the same time a freind of mine from vegas visited.

the four of us spent a good deal of time in "double date" scenarios. my freind from vegas was in town for a wedding. the night before she pressed my suit and took care of details about me.

the night after the wedding, i came home and started some project around the house, when she intterupted me, slightly (or very) tipsy, dressed up like she was a princess at a ball. she asked me to dance, and i agreed. one thing lead to another.

at first i assumed this was a fling, but soon it took some twists and turns. she is an illegal immigrant. we're alot like a couple though she and i keep it "secret" from our exclusive roommates, though obviously all know whats going on.

shes not the most rational or understanding person, shes very guided by her emotions.

anyway, basically, shes pressuring me to tell my parents, with whom ive hardly spoken about any relationship ive been in. so really, i have no context in which to even tell my parents, all the while shes pressuring for marriage, so she can get papers. she was victim in the chernobyl incident, thusly she has a heart condition because her thyroid was removed. im a caring person by nature, so this fling turned more serious.

i try to help her in many ways, like helping her apply for diversity lottery, i cook for her, we spoend good times, but then sometimes she just gets melodramatic and starts talking about her life and me.

sometimes, she says im fearful of telling my parents, which is true, it would uproot my life and hers in ways she cant imagine. i like her alot, but i never saw this being permanent.

i know i need to think about what she means to me, but really, this situation is so new to me, for she is the first woman ive dated or seen that i feel actually cares about me.

thanks to anyone who read this. i really need some advice.

You don't say how old you are....are you very young? I'm sure others will have much more to add, but all I have to say is that no one should FORCE you into doing anything you don't feel like doing. You barely know this woman, and she doesn't sound particularly stable. She is older and trying to coerce you into marriage and is trying to force you to integrate her into your family. That's not a good sign, that's all I can say. Be careful. You sound like a rational human being, and she is not.

She sure saw you coming! You'd best get out of that relationship STAT. She actually sounds kinda dangerous to me. Without knowing more details, I cannot give any really sound advice -- maybe try talking to her then to your parents and admit your mistake? Don't know. Good luck -- I fear you are going to need it.