submart
12-05-2005, 11:49 PM
#1 Large age gap among couples is no longer a problem
Amy in Rochester, New York, US, comments, "I think that age is just a number. I once came across a quote that said, "Do not count your life by years, but experience and tears." I think that by being attracted to an older man it has caused me to take a look at myself and assess what I can bring to a relationship. Instead of comparing myself to friends, adding up my bedroom experiences and trying to make sure I am doing what is normal, I look at the bigger picture. What I mean by this is that I take a look at each moment and think about how I can best handle it. I look more at how I can best handle my life, how I can get the most out of every moment. It also makes me acutely aware of my maturity level both emotionally and physically. Personally knowing that they have a lot more experience does not bother me. I am comfortable with what I have done and not done. The older man would have to realize that and not want me to play catch up to him. I believe we do not have to get to the same experience level to enjoy the things we do together. "
What an attitude! If all couples in America could think along these lines we could probably reduce the divorce rate by half. Based on other emails that we have received from couples with significant age difference after we published our two stories Older men and younger women and then Older women and younger men, these are our findings:
* Age no longer marries because the traditional concept of a relationship is disappearing. When half the marriages don't last for a lifetime, couples are now looking for compatibility and fulfillment rather than a potential spouse in all cases.
* Americans are increasingly realizing that there is a difference between the age that is shown on the birth certificate and the actual "age" of a person. The two are often different.
* Having an experienced partner is not always a bad thing. Yes, sometimes it is a lot more fun to discover something new together but it doesn't hurt to learn from someone who knows. And to be honest, there is always something that both of you wouldn't know. Finally, even young people know stuff that old have no clue about.
http://www.luvcube.com/mynippon/2004/07/large-age-gap-among-couples-is-no.html
#2
Older men and younger women
Do such relationships work?
By Pierre Coda
For reasons highlighted in several stories that we have done on the subject of couples with significant age difference, our research is clearly demonstrating that age doesn't matter any more when it comes to developing a healthy relationship. In fact, experience can actually enhance the quality of a relationship.
Our research shows that with the rising divorce rates and increasingly higher acceptance of gay marriages, American perceptions of a relationship are changing. We no longer think that every relationship should result in a marriage (to have children and live happily thereafter). Many young people in our survey compared relationships to jobs in today's economy. They are not permanent and one should make the best use of a relationship as long as it lasts.
Does having an older partner creates problems for women? A 27 year old woman says, "I recently became involved with a man 18 years older than me, and it is the most intense relationship that I have ever been in! I have always liked older men, but this is the largest age difference for me yet...and I love it! It is a whole new experience making love to someone who is more interested in your pleasure than his own...makes me want to do more for him too.
-- Most women, whatever their age, have traditionally preferred an older man in the bedroom. "Younger men may look cute but older men have the experience to satisfy their partner, basically because older men have learned to slow down", says Linda in Las Vegas, Nevada. It is generally believed that younger men only want to please themselves. Carol, who is in her late 40s and lives in Flint, Michigan, advises, "Don't lose your attention for a woman in her 40s because she also has learned how to slow it down. They have become more comfortable with their bodies, which allows for better performance. Also the belief
that women in their 40s are less active in the bedroom is just not true." Michael Webb, the author of the best-selling book "Fifty secrets of a blissful relationships" agrees. In his opinion, it is not the age difference that counts; it is the emotional chemistry that makes all the difference to the quality of a relationship.
Another lady, who is now happily married to someone her own age, tells us about her past romance. She said, "To be honest when I was 23 the guy I was seeing at the time was 46 and I loved every minute of it. I used to greatly appreciate the fact that an older man was more interested in you than his own physical pleasure. The friendship, the attention, and the maturity of an older man were a treasure to me. I have a sister and many cousins who are married to older men and it works just fine."
#3 Dating younger men
Should women date younger men?
By Pierre Coda
Every second marriage in America ends up in a divorce. Yes, many find another relationship and even get married but most stay single and do not want to enter into another bad relationship. But since the rate at which these people get married is lower than the rate of divorce, the net result is that there are more single people now than ever who are in their late 30s and older. (Related article: Challenges of dating a younger man)
--
For the longest time in America, no matter how much we praise ourselves for giving equal rights to women, when it comes to dating we have treated them as second-class citizens. So while men have had the freedom to choose a girl of any age, women were restricted to dating men in their age group. So if you do some simple math, what you will discover is that women (if older than 35) have a serious disadvantage when it comes to dating. There are not just enough men around for them! In fact Rachel Greenwald, a Harvard Business School MBA, was so frustrated that she has taken basic concepts of project management and turned them into a 15-step program designed for women over 35 to find a spouse. (Related article: Loving someone ten years younger.
-- Shouldn't women be allowed to date whoever they like, including younger men?
Absolutely. While it is definitely the right thing to do from the standpoint of treating them equally but on an even more fundamental note, it is something that has to be done for the sake of the society. Several studies have confirmed that children raised in a single-parent family do not do as well as those in stable families. Marriage is also an excellent institution for ensuring financial and emotional stability. (Related article: Find a younger man and make him notice you)
I now see three major three major trends in the sphere of relationships that will have significant long-term impact on American society:
* Gay marriage (already legal in Massachusetts where LuvCube.com is based) and increasingly higher level of its acceptance among young people
* Women taking greater control of their marital destiny and that is why eHarmony has more women than men in its database
* Women dating men much younger than them
LuvCube.com has received dozens of communications from women who have found fulfilling relationships with younger men. What came as a pleasant surprise to us was that, in almost all cases, these women were pursued by younger men. As Judy in Ohio puts it, "It sort of just happened…but why does it have to matter if you get along?"
No it does not have to. In fact we are asking men not to look at only women of their age or younger for dating. So if you are a man wondering why you haven't found a relationship yet, then open your eyes and look at all the wonderful women out there who just happen to be a be better at certain things than you and there is something that you could end up learning from them.
If you are a single woman, don't just look at men older than you. Keep your options open. Approach men that you like regardless of their age.
What about all those conservative thinkers who think this is unacceptable? Times have changed, so just shut up. Let people find a relationship and enjoy themselves. Life is too short to get bogged down with numbers.
Amy in Rochester, New York, US, comments, "I think that age is just a number. I once came across a quote that said, "Do not count your life by years, but experience and tears." I think that by being attracted to an older man it has caused me to take a look at myself and assess what I can bring to a relationship. Instead of comparing myself to friends, adding up my bedroom experiences and trying to make sure I am doing what is normal, I look at the bigger picture. What I mean by this is that I take a look at each moment and think about how I can best handle it. I look more at how I can best handle my life, how I can get the most out of every moment. It also makes me acutely aware of my maturity level both emotionally and physically. Personally knowing that they have a lot more experience does not bother me. I am comfortable with what I have done and not done. The older man would have to realize that and not want me to play catch up to him. I believe we do not have to get to the same experience level to enjoy the things we do together. "
What an attitude! If all couples in America could think along these lines we could probably reduce the divorce rate by half. Based on other emails that we have received from couples with significant age difference after we published our two stories Older men and younger women and then Older women and younger men, these are our findings:
* Age no longer marries because the traditional concept of a relationship is disappearing. When half the marriages don't last for a lifetime, couples are now looking for compatibility and fulfillment rather than a potential spouse in all cases.
* Americans are increasingly realizing that there is a difference between the age that is shown on the birth certificate and the actual "age" of a person. The two are often different.
* Having an experienced partner is not always a bad thing. Yes, sometimes it is a lot more fun to discover something new together but it doesn't hurt to learn from someone who knows. And to be honest, there is always something that both of you wouldn't know. Finally, even young people know stuff that old have no clue about.
http://www.luvcube.com/mynippon/2004/07/large-age-gap-among-couples-is-no.html
#2
Older men and younger women
Do such relationships work?
By Pierre Coda
For reasons highlighted in several stories that we have done on the subject of couples with significant age difference, our research is clearly demonstrating that age doesn't matter any more when it comes to developing a healthy relationship. In fact, experience can actually enhance the quality of a relationship.
Our research shows that with the rising divorce rates and increasingly higher acceptance of gay marriages, American perceptions of a relationship are changing. We no longer think that every relationship should result in a marriage (to have children and live happily thereafter). Many young people in our survey compared relationships to jobs in today's economy. They are not permanent and one should make the best use of a relationship as long as it lasts.
Does having an older partner creates problems for women? A 27 year old woman says, "I recently became involved with a man 18 years older than me, and it is the most intense relationship that I have ever been in! I have always liked older men, but this is the largest age difference for me yet...and I love it! It is a whole new experience making love to someone who is more interested in your pleasure than his own...makes me want to do more for him too.
-- Most women, whatever their age, have traditionally preferred an older man in the bedroom. "Younger men may look cute but older men have the experience to satisfy their partner, basically because older men have learned to slow down", says Linda in Las Vegas, Nevada. It is generally believed that younger men only want to please themselves. Carol, who is in her late 40s and lives in Flint, Michigan, advises, "Don't lose your attention for a woman in her 40s because she also has learned how to slow it down. They have become more comfortable with their bodies, which allows for better performance. Also the belief
that women in their 40s are less active in the bedroom is just not true." Michael Webb, the author of the best-selling book "Fifty secrets of a blissful relationships" agrees. In his opinion, it is not the age difference that counts; it is the emotional chemistry that makes all the difference to the quality of a relationship.
Another lady, who is now happily married to someone her own age, tells us about her past romance. She said, "To be honest when I was 23 the guy I was seeing at the time was 46 and I loved every minute of it. I used to greatly appreciate the fact that an older man was more interested in you than his own physical pleasure. The friendship, the attention, and the maturity of an older man were a treasure to me. I have a sister and many cousins who are married to older men and it works just fine."
#3 Dating younger men
Should women date younger men?
By Pierre Coda
Every second marriage in America ends up in a divorce. Yes, many find another relationship and even get married but most stay single and do not want to enter into another bad relationship. But since the rate at which these people get married is lower than the rate of divorce, the net result is that there are more single people now than ever who are in their late 30s and older. (Related article: Challenges of dating a younger man)
--
For the longest time in America, no matter how much we praise ourselves for giving equal rights to women, when it comes to dating we have treated them as second-class citizens. So while men have had the freedom to choose a girl of any age, women were restricted to dating men in their age group. So if you do some simple math, what you will discover is that women (if older than 35) have a serious disadvantage when it comes to dating. There are not just enough men around for them! In fact Rachel Greenwald, a Harvard Business School MBA, was so frustrated that she has taken basic concepts of project management and turned them into a 15-step program designed for women over 35 to find a spouse. (Related article: Loving someone ten years younger.
-- Shouldn't women be allowed to date whoever they like, including younger men?
Absolutely. While it is definitely the right thing to do from the standpoint of treating them equally but on an even more fundamental note, it is something that has to be done for the sake of the society. Several studies have confirmed that children raised in a single-parent family do not do as well as those in stable families. Marriage is also an excellent institution for ensuring financial and emotional stability. (Related article: Find a younger man and make him notice you)
I now see three major three major trends in the sphere of relationships that will have significant long-term impact on American society:
* Gay marriage (already legal in Massachusetts where LuvCube.com is based) and increasingly higher level of its acceptance among young people
* Women taking greater control of their marital destiny and that is why eHarmony has more women than men in its database
* Women dating men much younger than them
LuvCube.com has received dozens of communications from women who have found fulfilling relationships with younger men. What came as a pleasant surprise to us was that, in almost all cases, these women were pursued by younger men. As Judy in Ohio puts it, "It sort of just happened…but why does it have to matter if you get along?"
No it does not have to. In fact we are asking men not to look at only women of their age or younger for dating. So if you are a man wondering why you haven't found a relationship yet, then open your eyes and look at all the wonderful women out there who just happen to be a be better at certain things than you and there is something that you could end up learning from them.
If you are a single woman, don't just look at men older than you. Keep your options open. Approach men that you like regardless of their age.
What about all those conservative thinkers who think this is unacceptable? Times have changed, so just shut up. Let people find a relationship and enjoy themselves. Life is too short to get bogged down with numbers.