Newbie here

Hello, all. I am happy to be here. I just turned 42 and I have a boyfriend who is 31. We have been dating for six months and not only are we an age gap couple, but we are an interracial couple. Being interracial has been more of an issue since I happen to look his age. However, I wonder about our future. I would like to marry him if he feels the same way I do, but at 42 I don’t have long before menopause and he may want children. He’s not sure. There’s also the issue of people not knowing that I am 10 years older. I feel sensitive about telling my age because I do look significantly younger and when I do tell people have such a strong reaction and can’t stop talking about it. I feel like a side-show freak. In addition there’s the pressure to “be your age” it seems after the 40th milestone as opposed to continuing on being the individual you always were, and not discussing my age helps me to avoid that stereotyping. I’ve not met his parents, but they’re only about 13 years older than I.
If this relationship does head towards marriage, I worry that he will face pressure to dump me because I’m “ancient.” I wouldn't think he would succumb, but all the same it's not something I look forward to. :(

http://img478.imageshack.us/img478/2261/welcome7ha.gif

Welcome, Chocolat!
I just wanted to say that my ym and I have a 22+year age gap, and his parents are.......................MY AGE !!! They love me though, so anything can work depending on the people involved.
I wish you and your man the best...you are both solid adults who know what they want, and your age gap is relatively tiny around here. race, age, religion, disabilities...who cares as long as there's love that binds...
Best to you,
Karen :)

read around... you're in the right place ;)

welcome!

You sound awesome i think its pretty common isnt it a 40 year old woman with a 30 year old man? my mum is 51 and her man is 40 (although he does not know this yet which is another story) but yeah i dont think twice about it... the interacial one is a funny one coming from australia as we are mostly caucasion although walking down the street with a indian male friend pushing my sons pram at the time when my son had white hair did give us some odd looks lol...sorry once again getting side track,but as the last post said... look around this place is like a home now for me what comfort...seriously i wish you the best love is grand :D

get to talking to your guy, he is the only one who has the answers, if he is undecided..... then that is another story. i was undecided out of FEAR when i met my husband, twenty year difference, he succeeded in persuading me to believe he truly loved me, i have never regretted one second of knowing him. but, we talked and talked and talked and talked. open up the communications and find out what you truly both want and be honest, being a different race is a non issue and your age gap is not really significant, find out really what is going on between you two and find out if you are on the same page.

Hi Chocolat!

Please try to take it one day at a time or in smaller quantities as necessary. I am 41 (with a birthday next month) and I am just about to start a romantic relationship with a 25 year old guy who works in my office. We would be an interracial couple too, but that actually freaks me out less than the age difference (and the fact that his dad works there too).

I don't look my age either. I have had some friends guess that I am still in my 20's - whatever. But, I understand the biological clock issues that such an AGR can bring to the surface. I understand how wrenching that can be. I keep thinking - I won't be able to have a child and I will be going through menopause and I will get fat and... Then I get devilish and think that in 10 years, with scientific advances and experimentation, heck, maybe he will be able to squat down in the grass and give birth to his own child! I also think of the women who have given birth as late as their 60's with medical intervention (imagine that). Seriously, since I was a teenager, I always have wanted to adopt. So, that of course is another option.

My YM and I are friends, but the innuendo and flirting is making me nuts. He hasn't come right out and asked me how old I am, but he would like to know. I haven't told him and won't unless we both want to consider a serious relationship. MYOB!

I have been thinking about this for the past few weeks. If we got into a relationship that lasted a while and then he wanted to leave to have a child with someone else. I would just deal with it. Since I lack a crystal ball, for the momemt, I'll just have to deal with whatever happens. If you really love your YM and he loves you, try not to worry and just assume that things will work out. By all means talk to him, those that care about your relationship and your co-conspiriters on this website.

I tell you, in the day that I have been on this site, I have been made too feel so much better about everything!! I can't even believe that I am offering advice!

~Cg