A happy thread lol,what do other ow have to say on this subject?

hey my ym seems oblivious to female attention and the guy is what you would call'quite pretty' anyway there is a girl who is his age who works near him who asked his boss yesterday if he was taken and apparently has been hangin around for a while the thing is... I DONT CARE :) The funny thing is in nearly every other relationship i have felt extremely insecure but i dont and the funny thing is...my peers seem to assume (which makes an *** out of u and me) that ill be worried he will leave me for someone younger but i really dont i know he loves me what do other ow have to say? are you more secure? would like to hear what others have to say

when i am involved with someone, i have to say that i don't really worry about that kind of thing. if they leave for someone else, then it wasn't meant to be. it's the risk you take getting involved in the first place. everyone has free will.

i'm glad you feel secure.

I've had insecure moments in past relationships.

Funny thing is somewhere down the road, I found out that those times I was "insecure"..... I had reason to be. (He was cheating.) I'm a pretty intuitive woman, but always managed to end up apologizing for insecure moments when they pop up. In retrospect, I realize (for me) that those moments were my gut talking to me..... telling me to pay closer attention...... that something inappropriate was going on or the relationship might not be right.

The times when I wasn't insecure marked points in my relationship where he was treating me right, being attentive, coming home ontime and making me feel loved. I don't think it's necessarily about age, but having a handsome bf sure makes it more challenging.

So I guess I'm trying to say is "if he's doing what he's supposed to be doing.... then you WON'T feel threatened or insecure!" Hope that made sense, LOL

bah..... it's late.......

yeah you are all right,i wish i was secure yeah i realise now you cant fight fate and stop them leaving but i use to cling to any hope lol but i hate to 'generalise' here but i have found with ym that they are usually quite sweet and if you are their first love and havent been burnt that they are still trusting you which means they are lesss likely to stray.
i hope i dont get backlash for that im just saying how its been for me,like i have been cheated on and i though i had the whole intuition thing goin on and the guys at the time told me i was being paranoid :mad:
but like im saying i would never have suspected my first love y'know and i find that maybe my ym trusts me and therefore trusts himself i hope y'all get what im trying to say?

I wouldn't go by the "first love" thing. In my situation I'm very glad he's had plenty of real relationship experience, because now it's more like "you've tried the rest, now try the best." He knows what a good relationship is, ours is, and he truly values it.

But everyone's situation is different. I'm just saying you can't make rules about what people are going to feel based on circumstance. In order to have a solid relationship without insecurity, a certain number of factors have to come together, no matter what each has experienced before.

Anyway, my honey's pretty too, but I don't worry about him straying. He'd be nuts to bother, he's got all the love he needs at home and he knows it.

When people cheat they've got to be having some kind of perception that they have unfulfilled needs. It may be completely UNTRUE - they may have everything they really need, but they don't SEE it that way for one reason or another. Some people think they have a need for side action when it is really about some other shortcoming of theirs, but that's how it gets acted out.

Some people never feel fulfilled in life, ever, because of their psychological issues, and those guys (or gals for the men reading this)...you want to avoid them. You can't fill a bottomless pit.

I wouldn't go by the "first love" thing. In my situation I'm very glad he's had plenty of real relationship experience, because now it's more like "you've tried the rest, now try the best." He knows what a good relationship is, ours is, and he truly values it.

But everyone's situation is different. I'm just saying you can't make rules about what people are going to feel based on circumstance. In order to have a solid relationship without insecurity, a certain number of factors have to come together, no matter what each has experienced before.

Anyway, my honey's pretty too, but I don't worry about him straying. He'd be nuts to bother, he's got all the love he needs at home and he knows it.

When people cheat they've got to be having some kind of perception that they have unfulfilled needs. It may be completely UNTRUE - they may have everything they really need, but they don't SEE it that way for one reason or another. Some people think they have a need for side action when it is really about some other shortcoming of theirs, but that's how it gets acted out.

Some people never feel fulfilled in life, ever, because of their psychological issues, and those guys (or gals for the men reading this)...you want to avoid them. You can't fill a bottomless pit.

Goldie, I don't think we see eye to eye on this issue. I wish it were as simple as having a perception of unfulfilled need. Sexual patterns and behaviors are set by the onset of adulthood, and some people have a great need for many and varied partners. From the people I've met with this type of attitude, love and sex seem to be entirely separate issues and they don't confuse the two as some do.

Merry Xmas

Ali