the age gap bothers him! i am 20 yrs younger

Help! I am in love with an older man. He is 20 yrs older than I am. We have been friends for a year but the relationship has changed recently to more, which is so beautiful. but the age bothers him. I am proud to be with him in public, I have no concerns. He is perfect in my eyes.....how do I handle this? I have told him "we live for today, to the fullest, we don't know if we are guaranteed a tomorrow"

I am in your same shoes! It is very frustrating. You take in all his concerns and try to explain from your point of view. He is so lost and I'm going crazy. We both want to be with eachother, but he can't seem to get over the 17 year age difference. He keeps telling em I dont understand....I'm 22, not 12 and can comprehend "adult" issues. It truly is a wonderful feeling. I've never met someone so romantic, gentle, giving, etc., etc. But I truly feel that it takes time for him to understand. I wish he was computer literate so I could give him this web address. It has taken a few trys and I believe it will take many more. Its about give and take, living and learning, and most of all loving! I have read a lot of these posts here (posted by men) and can see the the age (obviously) is a common concern. I have to agree w/ most people, I have no "father-figure" problems, I simply fell in love w/ a man. Honestly, I never thought it would get this far. We were good friends, we were there for eachother and suddenly I fell in love. I must say this has been the best relationship, but at the same time the hardest. But once you get past the hard parts, the relationship couldn't be more fulfilling. That's the point I'm trying to get to. And when that day comes.....ahhh...sweet bliss!

You are certanly right, Easterngirl,
lets live for today!! (you ever hear
the song by that name? By the '60's
band "the Grassroots"? Nice!) Anyway,
we certainly aren't promised tommorrow,
not with the way the world is today.
And ask yourself this: most marrages
are between people of the same age,
right? How many divorces are there?
See? People get togeather for the wrong
reasons; both must be the same age,
goodlooking, etc. And it doesen't last
because they go by society's dictates
instead of what they really want and
need. I hope it works out for both of
you.

Love, John

Don't give up Easterngirl. I have a 23 year age difference with my man (I'm 37, he's 60). Our relationship started very slow and once we realized we had deep feelings for eachother he got very scared. I think some om get insecure when a ym is interested in them. It's like they can't see in themselves what we see in them. My guy tried to end it on a couple of ocassions but it never lasted longer than a week....we were too miserable without the other. When my guy tried to tell me I should find someone closer to my age I assured him that I knew what I was feeling, and knew what I was doing. I never wavered and he gave up trying to convice me to find someone else. Just keep telling your guy how you feel...it will sink in eventually.

does your OM have any kids?

AT FRIST IT BOTHER HIM THAT IM WAS YOUNG.IM 21 AND HE IS 42. BUT OVER TIME HE GOT USED TO IT. SO IT DOE'NT BOTHER HIM ANYMORE. BUT IT JUST TAKES TIME.

a strange update

I made this post back in 2002...I recently just found this again, now being 2006...read what I wrote...my older man passed away on Dec.19/03....

I'm really sorry to read that. Hugs to you.

eastern girl

WHAT do u mean your OM passed away?
What happened? HOw old was he?
U must be devistated?

So sorry to hear this

eastern girl

WHAT do u mean your OM passed away?


I think she means he Died...

Eastern I'm so sorry!! Please know that My thoughts are with you..... its tough when a loved one passed away..>7 years ago my boyfriend died and he was 25 years old :(

Mer

sorry but not for nothing, i knew that her OM died.
Do u really think that i didn't know what she meant?

i was just shocked & didn't know what could have happened, it was like a figure of speech.

I was just asking what happened to him

Mer

sorry but not for nothing, i knew that her OM died.
Do u really think that i didn't know what she meant?

i was just shocked & didn't know what could have happened, it was like a figure of speech.

I was just asking what happened to him

Well honestly You never know so i was just trying to help :) I was actually surprised youa sked what that meant...

a strange update

I made this post back in 2002...I recently just found this again, now being 2006...read what I wrote...my older man passed away on Dec.19/03....
I am sorry to hear about this; I hope you have recovered well over the years and are in a healthy relationship now.

thanks for all the kind words...It was just weird to find my old post here and what I wrote....I still miss him dearly...I am actually in a long term relationship now with a guy that is 8 yrs younger than myself...
A memory that I will have with me forever is this:
I had called my om on my cell as I was approaching his shop...I asked if he could quickly go to the front door as I was almost near in my car...there he was, and we smiled and waved hello to each other...It was Dec.18, 2003...The next day in the early hours of 2 am, he died of a massive heart attack at 54 yrs....
I think of our wave...in reality it was a wave goodbye....until we meet again someday...