Your date's career?

I have an interesting dating situation. I already know what I'm gonna do, so I didn't put this in relationship support. Just polling great minds.......

This guy just started emailing me and we chatted last night. He appears to be down to earth, funny, smart and seems to "get" my humor so far. He says I'm beautiful (but he's only seen pics.)

Here's where it gets weird. He's a "professional wrestler" or "sports entertainer" as he calls it. He says he makes really good money at it, but it doesn't define WHO he is as a person.... it's a job...... an act...... a paycheck.

Of course I researched him and yup..... he's on the net and calls himself TK-RIOT
http://www.obsessedwithwrestling.com/profiles/t/t-k-riot.html

Now..... I'm from the south and always thought this "sport" was stupid. I also think Nascar is lame. I'm gonna play this one by ear, but thinking it'll be hard to take him seriously outside his career... I don't know. I hate to judge him based on this alone, because he seems sweet and sincere. BTW, he lives less than an hour from me out in the country.

-- Have you ever tried to date someone who's job turned you off or made you roll your eyes???

-- Could you date someone who was a mortician, nascar driver, wrestler, (insert weird job here)???

-- How much does someone's career affect your willingness to date/invest in them??

Just curious....... Share your stories please. :)

Note: Shhhh...... he's not really from Iraq, but he admits to having Egyptian ancestors. It's part of his wrestling persona. :rolleyes:

No and no. I would only date men with a solid career which I respect, who can if necessary fully support a family. Really narrows the field. I make more $ than most men I know, so of course is a big threat to some. YM don't seem to have as much problem with it I know.

If I was single, I would be all over a Nascar driver!!!!!

I think that if you truly care about someone, the job doesn't so much matter..as long as they have one! Thats just my two cents though, and about all I can afford since my boyfriend works in a factory! *winks*

To me, I don't really consider professional wrestling to be too weird of a job actually. It really isn't a sport, it's so staged so like he said basically just think of him as some type of entertainer.

For myself, all I care about in dating is that by the time a guy is 25 + that he has some type of career. It doesn't matter to me what that career is. Being able to establish themself shows me they have a sense of responsiblity and determination. I don't want to date a 35 yr old guy who has been a jobless wonder all his life or is still figuring things out b/c I don't think a guy like that will be too dependable in other aspects.


I can't think of a job that turns me off actually. Because I realize some people may love a job that I can't stand. Example my friend is a doctor and literally loves what he does. He loves science and bones and stuff. I can't stand science or the site of blood. And I also realize some other people may have to work a certain job to pay the bills and I give those people lots of credit also to stick it out at a job they hate to support themselves or their children.

The one thing that I do say is that sometimes job choice can put a strain on a relationship. I know my partner's crazy hours sometimes can cause chaos in our relationship, I think there are a lot of couples out there in that boat.

If I was single, I would be all over a Nascar driver!!!!!
~~ LOL @ Jo ~~

If I was single, I would be all over a Nascar driver!!!!!



I agree! :D I have the biggest school girl crush on Tony Stewart and my boyfriend knows it lol


I also have a thing for house and trance DJs. I find them so passionate.

I hope I didn't come across as condescending with my post. It wasn't my intentions. I just get pickier as I get older. I could never date a cop, because I've known too many with serious issues and the hours will destroy a relationship easy. I don't think I could date someone in the military, because I'm selfish and too old at this point to make such sacrifices.

I just thought it would make an interesting discussion to see what other's have tolerated for the sake of dating someone with a good heart. I agree that it's important to respect a partner's choices and support them as much as possible; and maybe that is where I run into trouble. I'm having a hard time picturing myself dressing this guy up for a big rumble night, patting him on the tights and saying "play nice at the office dear". :rolleyes: lol, I'm so wrong for that.

Then again, if I didn't know what he did, I'd be all over this guy. I find him attractive (in a dramatic sort of way) and he supports himself just fine from what I can tell. He's funny as hell and we seem to click thusfar.

I'll find out soon enough if I can hang...... or if he'll even pursue it that far.
Just wondering how important it was to others and their thoughts on the subject.

On another note, I also need to ask myself if I'm just LOOKING for a reason to run lately. Can you say "skittish"? LOL

Gypsy, I don't see you as condescending at all - but rather the opposite. You are questioning your immediate response to his career, and actively thinking about it.

Myself, I'm incredibly picky about a guy's career, and yes it could seem shallow and unfair, but I put a lot of effort and thought into my career and need to be with someone who can relate, or at least sees value in what I do, and vice versa.

That said, I do actually know a guy who was an ultimate fighter in Vegas. He's a really sweet, down to earth guy. He basically did what he was good at - fighting - because he made a lot of money at it. Having dropped out of school, it was a really good opportunity for him. *shrug* we all do what we can, and careers don't necessarily define us.

So, this guy could be totally great, and just one of those people who look at their career as a way to make money, not as an extension of themselves. If you can get past it, like he does, then great. At least you wouldn't have to worry about him being a workaholic! :p

I don't see anything wrong with your concern either :)

We are all allowed to have preferences about who we date. Maybe a specific career isn't important to me when I am looking for a partner, but it is allowed to be for you or someone else. I think it can be a good thing to have preferences or standards in a partner. I think the only thing to remember is if you find someone you connect with but they are a lil outisde your mold, you shouldn't be afraid to bend a lil if they seem worth it. It's probably too early to tell what will happen with this guy, so just maybe give it one date and see how you feel. Good luck.

wow all your answers are so well though out. I dont care what a guy does as long as he does something. If hes happy its gonna reflect in his personal dealings with others, if he has to strive to be something to please me, hes gonna be unhappy after a while, so no! I really dont care what he does.

I don't see anything wrong with your concern either :)

We are all allowed to have preferences about who we date. Maybe a specific career isn't important to me when I am looking for a partner, but it is allowed to be for you or someone else. I think it can be a good thing to have preferences or standards in a partner. I think the only thing to remember is if you find someone you connect with but they are a lil outisde your mold, you shouldn't be afraid to bend a lil if they seem worth it. It's probably too early to tell what will happen with this guy, so just maybe give it one date and see how you feel. Good luck.


*Nods*

Yes, I agree with my fellow Jersey Girl here. We had some professional wrestler guy live behind us in the 'hood when I was growing up. The cookouts they had were hilarious! You'd see all the wrestling guys throwing horse shoes :)

I don't like NASCAR or wrestling either... But if you like him as a person, why not give him a try?

I agree.... it's too soon to tell, but if he pursues - I'll give him a shake. He asks for my phone # last night and said he'd call me today.

I think I've read one too many books lately on dating and looking at it with too much brain and not enough heart. I guess the other thing is I'm a single mother who does ok by herself financially, and I don't need someone trying to leech off me. So someone making considerable less is a risk.

On the other hand, I'm not sure I'd fit in well with someone who made an extreme amount more than me either, or someone in the public eye. My insecurities kick in with him being a more public persona. I see guys like that being with confident, hard bodied women that love the limelight as much as them. I am not that type.

We'll see..... reading back over this, I think I am looking for excuses to bail. :rolleyes:

I definitely think you should give it a shot.

~Shan

-- Have you ever tried to date someone who's job turned you off or made you roll your eyes???

-- Could you date someone who was a mortician, nascar driver, wrestler, (insert weird job here)???

-- How much does someone's career affect your willingness to date/invest in them??



Gypsy:

Yes, yes and less than it used to.

Me, I'm not from the south but I love NASCAR, and if I liked the guy, I certainly would date one of those guys! (Yoo-hoo, Kasey Kahne, here I am, baby!)

I think it's hard to say ahead of time just how much I would allow someone's choice of career to affect my decision to date them. I think that it would influence my decision less now than it would have in the past, largely because of dating YM in the last couple of years with non-professional careers. I'm white-collar with one piece of paper (degree). The YM that I'm dating now waits tables. Of course, waiting tables is not a weird job at all but until a couple of years ago, I was dating mostly professionals or men who owned their own businesses. Also, when people in my 'work world' as what he does, I've learned to ignore the slight hesitation when I say that he works in a restaurant. People don't mean to be rude, but I don't think it's what they expect me to say. It's been a process for me to learn to take waiting tables 'seriously' and to consider it a real job. But when I watch him working his tail off, and see that he makes pretty good money, and that he enjoys it, well, it looks like a real job to me. (I hope anyone here that works their tail off, waiting tables, isn't offended. I'm just being honest. I cooked in two restaurants when I was very young. I KNOW it's a hard job.)

Do I like the fact that he is getting excited about going back to school to learn to do something different because he does not want to wait tables forever? Yes. Would I limit the extent of my relationship or limit the possibilities of where it could go because of what he does now? No.

Like Silent Angel said:

The one thing that I do say is that sometimes job choice can put a strain on a relationship. I know my partner's crazy hours sometimes can cause chaos in our relationship, I think there are a lot of couples out there in that boat.

This is one our our biggest challenges right now. If he was making noises like he was planning on waiting tables for the rest of his life, I think that the earning potential might be a concern down the road but that is a longer-term concern. And if your friend says he makes decent money, then it probably won't be a concern for you.

Plus, I wouldn't prod him to see what he wants to be later - we all want to be accepted for what/who we are now , and no matter what he says, I'm sure he would like to have his career taken seriously and accepted as a real career - but you could listen for indications of what he wants to do once his body can't do the wrestling thing anymore.

Right now, though, you've not yet even met him in person but it sounds like you might want to, yes? I'd say go for it. What can it hurt?

Really, what is he...an actor! And a bodybuilder. And an athlete (what he does has to be physically-demanding). Creative (maybe), outgoing, willing to be different.

Here's an opportunity to meet and maybe get to know someone who can talk to you about something 'new'. Meet him and ask him questions about his job, why he likes it, is it fun, etc.

-- Have you ever tried to date someone who's job turned you off or made you roll your eyes??? no

-- Could you date someone who was a mortician, nascar driver, wrestler, (insert weird job here)???
yep
-- How much does someone's career affect your willingness to date/invest in them??
i am married now, but i dont think the career would matter. only the aspect of it having some kind of poor effect on the over all relationship.


Oh, while I am not in to the wrestling, I think your boyfriend is a HOTTIE...hehehe

Right now, though, you've not yet even met him in person but it sounds like you might want to, yes? I'd say go for it. What can it hurt?

Really, what is he...an actor! And a bodybuilder. And an athlete (what he does has to be physically-demanding). Creative (maybe), outgoing, willing to be different.

Here's an opportunity to meet and maybe get to know someone who can talk to you about something 'new'. Meet him and ask him questions about his job, why he likes it, is it fun, etc.

You right SG..... I think in some ways I was ok with it, until I told a coworker and they laughed at me.... then they looked at me like "you got to be kidding?!" It would not have been any different, if I had said he was 25 or something.

This guy is 38 and his family has a construction business that I'm sure he's involved in also. He comes across as smart, witty, a good communicator, sincere, and head screwed on straight. I'm sure he's got a contingency plan in place for when the body gives out (family business).

I appreciate all the wonderful comments and insight. I have gotten away from posting lately. It's good to interact a bit. :)

i am married now, but i dont think the career would matter. only the aspect of it having some kind of poor effect on the over all relationship.


I think you're right on the money with this... it all depends on how a person allows their career to affect the relationship. Personally, I'm leery of anyone who admits he has "fans or groupies", but swears he's not interested in that and wants something REAL. I think my insecurity of that is driving me to over-analyze the career aspect of it more. No different if he were a musician....

groupies = grey hair and worry lines to me. *lol*

Oh, while I am not in to the wrestling, I think your boyfriend is a HOTTIE...hehehe

Ughhh.... see above statement about the grey hair, LOL.... I think he's hot, so I'm sure their are a few others out there thinking the same thing. :rolleyes:
We have not MET YET, so no boyfriend status.... but a girl can daydream a bit! :D

Isn't there an (ex) Governor somewhere that was a professional wrestler at one point in his life? ;)

See I like USA, we can all have the American dream and no matter what we do for a living or how many degrees we have, it is the human essence that counts the most, so if this guy got what you are looking for, my dear gypsy, go for it and have lots of fun!!!

You can be the CLEOPATRA of his life....... :)

Isn't there an (ex) Governor somewhere that was a professional wrestler at one point in his life? ;)




Jesse Ventura. Former governor of Minnesota. Used to be a big-time pro wrestler.

Science that was exactly my point!!! I just did not wanted to say his name to see if it made any difference!!! jajajaja

Maybe Gypsy has in her hands another future governor but this time in Luisiana! :)

I think this issue is completely subjective. If you can respect a person DESPITE what they are doing for a living, then what's the problem? Who cares what others think? If public opinion is important to you, it's a consideration, but I certainly wouldn't allow it to rule the decision making process.

Having said that, I personally could never date anyone at this stage of my life who wasn't my equal or above in terms of education. I'm not so concerned about $ since I've worked very hard to work my way up the career ladder, and certainly didn't start out near the top where I am now.

Back in my 20's, I married a factory boy. I thought it was "romantic." Jeez, what an idiot I was! I think it had something to do with the Rolling Stones song, "Waitin' on a Factory Girl." Yeah, I made some real intelligent choices back then. Although he was amazingly cute and good in bed. Thank God the hormones are essentially gone now!

Jesse Ventura. Former governor of Minnesota. Used to be a big-time pro wrestler.


Haha - yup, Jessie "The Body" Ventura... used to watch wrestling w/ my first husband all the time (not by choice)

At first I was going to say that there are certain professions I couldn't tolerate in a guy I was dating. But then, after I thought about it, I realized it would depend on the guy. If he fit the stereotype of the person in the profession (let's face it, that's not always the case -- but oftentimes it does apply!), bleah, no thanks!

By the way -- I used to know a really cute guy who happened to be a mortician... we'd go out to the bars together and, if he'd see someone passed out at a table from drinking too much, he would slip his business card into their hand!

By the way -- I used to know a really cute guy who happened to be a mortician... we'd go out to the bars together and, if he'd see someone passed out at a table from drinking too much, he would slip his business card into their hand!

Kel, that gave me a chuckle. I enjoyed the light discussion over this topic, but I think it was all hypothetical, and moot at this point.

He did not email, chat or call me today/tonight. *pouts*
I find one I think is interesting ... they act all excited like a puppy.... and poof!
OK guys, let this thread die.... I don't want to the reminder of how foolish I was to think this guy was actually going to pursue me. :rolleyes:

........... Back to your regular programming .............

This guy is 38 and his family has a construction business that I'm sure he's involved in also. He comes across as smart, witty, a good communicator, sincere, and head screwed on straight. I'm sure he's got a contingency plan in place for when the body gives out (family business).



This was my thought when I was reading your thread. What happens when the wrestling stops? What did he do before becoming a wrestler?

You do seem a little embarrassed *If that is the word* about his carreer. Also a little insecure about the "limelight and groupies." So those are issues I would think you need to have clear in your mind before really getting involved with him.

Otherwise he sounds cool. :)

Kel, that gave me a chuckle. I enjoyed the light discussion over this topic, but I think it was all hypothetical, and moot at this point.

He did not email, chat or call me today/tonight. *pouts*
I find one I think is interesting ... they act all excited like a puppy.... and poof!
OK guys, let this thread die.... I don't want to the reminder of how foolish I was to think this guy was actually going to pursue me.

........... Back to your regular programming .............

Nooo...dont feel like that. I have guys online that i like, and i chat with, etc., and sometimes we go 3 or 4 days without contact. I'm busy, and i know they are too. I get excited at the beginning...but that's why i try to have more than one that i'm in contact with ... i hate being disappointed, but i've actually gotten used to it...with this internet dating crap! The guy i really liked, just seems to have "disappeared." Such is life...

Anyhow, back to the job. I think its a cool job...but i love 'different' people. People who dont do something to make an impression, or put on airs. I like people who ARE what they ARE. The YM i have a date set up with from the AgeMatch dating site, is in a band. Yes, he has a day job too. But he told me most of their fans are 16-yr old girls! How am i supposed to feel about MY 46-yr old body, when we meet?? :eek: Actually, i'm just very excited about our date, and i'm gonna be the best ME that i can be.

I was married to a police officer, so i can definitely say from experience, that that is one profession that really affects a marriage. BUT, i'm not saying i'd never date a cop again, either. Doesnt mean i want to marry him!

One of the coolest guys i ever dated, was a Romanian cab driver in NYC :D I have such great memories, and stories, about him.

I am financially OK, have a good job and my own home, so if a guy works, that's all i care about. I dont need someone who's driven to be a CEO of 'something.' I'd rather him NOT work overtime, and come home and lay on the couch with me, in front of the fire. :)

Good luck...keep us updated.

Hi Gyspyheart,

I checked out his profile and I must admit it was a slight turnoff for me personally. Its not wrestling in particular, its the fact that my immediate reaction to someone who looks all pumped up like that is that he'd would find getting female attention so darn easy.....maybe even addictive (is that why he's on the net?). Plus the sport is so aggressive......I would be wondering how far that agression goes. Just my initial reaction. But I'm just as happy for you to prove me wrong:)

My ex-sister in law is married to a wrestler. He is one of the most laid back, sweet guys I have ever met. A great father, a good husband. It's just something he enjoys nights and weekends. He also has a regular 40 hour a week job.


Just food for thought. :p

ooooooo yeah.....snap into my slim jim

lol - I cannot STAND Randy Savage!

ooooooo yeah.....snap into my slim jim
HUH????? :confused:

ooooooo yeah.....snap into my slim jim

Hi Rob,
I'm going to assume you are making reference to this?? :rolleyes:

http://www.retrojunk.com/details_commercial/409/


BTW, he finally called Saturday night and we talked a long time. I guess I jump the gun thinking he wouldn't call. He was going to Dallas this weekend for an event, and said he'd call me Monday night.

Seems sweet and down to earth on the phone, but it doesn't sound like he has anything else going on besides working these events on the weekends. With my hectic schedule, I'm thinking "when would we have time to date?" Also thinking, "what happens when your body gives out.... what then?" He told me he had a falling out with the "family business" after his dad died, so that isn't his backup.

I've got other irons in the fire and chatting other guys too, so we'll see how it goes. I don't take anything too seriously anymore, cuz they tend to disappear at the drop of a hat.

Have you ever tried to date someone who's job turned you off or made you roll your eyes???
Nope

-- Could you date someone who was a mortician, nascar driver, wrestler, (insert weird job here)???
Definitely not a Mortician or a slaughterhouse worker or a butcher. Been put off policeman in the past too but probably would give it another go if I really liked the person.

-- How much does someone's career affect your willingness to date/invest in them??
Apart from the definite no-nos above it really doesn't matter too much so long as they are making some sort of effort to earn money. I actually respect people who take on the harder, lower paid jobs because they don't want to be out of work (and that comes from being married to someone who didn't work for 8 years!)

I didn't like the wrestler's fame name either but that's the only thing that would put me off.

Just my two penneth (as we say here in UK) :)

Good luck!

Dusky

TK RIOT would get the TKO in my book. Oh heyal naaaw....I was looking at those pictures like WTF??? (not b/c of his looks, but because of the fact that he's a grown man posing like that, wearing those clothes)

His identity as the "Iraqi Madman" would further turn me off BIG TIME to this dude...

I don't think it's selfish or wrong to want a man with a "respectable career"...now, I know that what is "respectable" is defintely a subjective issue but there is nothing wrong with thinking something is just "not for you" and moving on from it...

I know hun..... I asked a few questions about that very thing, the night he called me. It bothers me a bit, I must say. He said the persona was sort of "given to him" 7yrs ago (BEFORE 9/11) and that the "fans" need someone to hate, as well as cheer. That it has won him a few death threats along the way; but it's not something he can up and change now.

I try to think of him as an actor to a certain degree. If an actor plays a bad guy all the time, does that make him a bad guy? Then again, actors do have choice in what roles they take.

I'd have already blown him off, if he didn't sound so sweet and sincere over the phone. I don't know... I think I'm on the fence until I meet him.

Gypsy