15yr old F and new situations

My 15yr old girl is now a freshman in highschool and excited about her new adventures. I on the other hand am concerned about her well-being and safety. Are there others that can share experiences regarding setting limits on parties, drinking, boys and cars. There is a large age gap between this child and her older siblings. Things have changed so much and society has become so lenient that I am uncomfortable with these situations. We have a great relationship and open communication but I see her defenses starting to rear up when I ask for specifics regarding friends and social engagements.

Stick to your guns!!!

You should always ask what she is doing, with whom and where. Even if she doesn't like it. You are still her parent first and foremost. Does she have a curfew? If not, instill one. Stick to it. I have one even as a senior in high school as 11:30. I used to hate it because all my friends were allowed to stay out later. Offer to drive her anywhere she wants to go. Be interested in all aspects of her life and also be her friend.

I look back on my parents strict parenting when I was younger and think I am better for it now and see the benefits. I think I was grounded half or more of my HS career :D And my parents meant it when I was grounded, no liency(sp?) there. BUT I never did drugs, I got good grades, and I think it helped me along to have parents that cared to provide boundaries. Kids today as they did when I was that age have enough trouble with peer pressures. Create rules and stick to them. Kids still need to know what to expect.

-Nibbles

AIDS, Crack, Meth, weed, smack, TWEAKIN', Jager bombs, Car bombs, chug-a-lug, beer bongs, oral, anal, drive-by's, abortion, car wrecks, binge & purge, $$$, suicide, internet porn, gangsta, players, run-away, missing person, drop out, turn on - tune in, WW III!! Where did my little girl go?!!!! :eek: :eek: Glad I don't have kids!!!

Yikes! Well, that list certainly is frightening and unfortunately quite common. I decided to write up something similar to a contract listing my expectations and consenquences should she falter. I trust my girl, have always been on the strict side but always explained my reasons for being that way. In the past, yes, she balked at it but followed the rules. I've been so fortunate to teach all my kids (four of them....three girls!! ugh) that I do not tolerate lying. So....hahahaha...none of them try much at all or if they do they fess up almost as soon as the lie comes out of their mouths...lol. One of my demands is that under no circumstances does she get into a car with another teen that has been drinking or doing drugs. Call a cab, get your butt home and we'll pay the driver and discuss it as needed. She did tell me that while she thinks I am harsh she is amazed that many of her friends are so deceitful with their parents or that the parents don't even question their kids. What she took for granted she now appreciates...the open communication we have. I promised to listen without throwing a fit to whatever she had to say or question and discuss it until a mutually agreeable end could be met. It may be in loud tones...lol...but each of us would be heard. I did retain my ultimate veto rights should I still not agree with her rational. Hey! I earned that right when I bore the pain of her head passing thru that itty bitty canal!!

The party she wants to attend is tomorrow night. I'll let you know how it goes! I'm going to bed early tonight so I can stay up late tomorrow night...hahaha.

Thanks again for your thoughts!

Sure, I'll be glad to share my rules!

Here they are:

No parties
No drinking
No boys
No sex
No driving with anybody in a car until I have met them and have decided that I am comfortable enough to trust them with the most priceless treasure in the world to me.

The rules in my house are simple: until you're paying the bills, you have no decision making powers regarding the rules for teens. Period.