Dan Echo
02-18-2006, 09:40 AM
I know that Valentine's day was four days ago, but this isn't intended as a Valentine day thread, even though the subject involves Valentine's day.
This week marked the third Valentine's day with milady. It was special in a great many ways, especially as it's specialness occurred in the midst of a very trying month for her. Not that anything bad has happened to her; its just that this month has shaped up to be exceedingly busy and demanding. Valentine's day was an island of special and treasured time amidst the backdrop of the demands of work and family. Both of us have been hit with a lot of events this month, as well as numerous demands, and in my case, a huge dropping of the ball by my ex with regards to my two sons. With all that has been going on, it is very easy to get frustrated with a seeming lack of interest on the part of our partner, when in truth, we have each been overrun this month, this week and weekend in particular.
As I look back over our relationship, I have seen this happen numerous times; its unavoidable. The outside world is not interested in giving a couple a break. Not living together makes this even harder because we don't even have a small amount of "us" time in the evenings or early mornings. These times occured when I was married, so living together won't always shield you from such things, and I can only imagine how it must be for those of you in LDRs! So how to deal with such times? That is the question.
Well, I started by reading through all of the beautiful cards she has given me (yes, I keep them all), knowing that the words she has written are the words of her heart. The one I read the most was the one from this Valentine's day. The words were truly beautiful and remind me of how wonderfully special our relationship is, even with the mudane and nuisance factor things swirling around us. Since I couldn't see her or talk to her for the past three days (there are times when our schedules prevent us from seeing or talking to eachother, and she doesn't have e-mail or internet), I used the time to focus on my own feelings towards her and on just how special she really is. Rather than let the challenges steel away our love, I decided to use them to strengthen my feelings for her. I feel oblidged to say that this hasn't made not being able to see her any less frustrating; it simply keeps me focused on her and on the specialness of our relationship at a time when things and people around us seem to be trying to suck that away.
I must say that I am so honoured and pleased to have her as my valentine, and am looking forward to many more Valentine's days.
In any case, that is how I chose to deal with the distractions and time apart. I posted this, not to say how clever I am, but because I thought that it might be good for us all to share how we deal with time apart, when we really want to see or talk to our special someone, but can't. I also wanted to put a positive light to an otherwise frustrating occurance that, on one level or another, happens to us all. I have no doubt that many of you have things you do to keep your love alive when things make it very easy to put it on the back burner (or even turn the burner off!), and I thought that we could share some of our experiences in this area.
DanE
This week marked the third Valentine's day with milady. It was special in a great many ways, especially as it's specialness occurred in the midst of a very trying month for her. Not that anything bad has happened to her; its just that this month has shaped up to be exceedingly busy and demanding. Valentine's day was an island of special and treasured time amidst the backdrop of the demands of work and family. Both of us have been hit with a lot of events this month, as well as numerous demands, and in my case, a huge dropping of the ball by my ex with regards to my two sons. With all that has been going on, it is very easy to get frustrated with a seeming lack of interest on the part of our partner, when in truth, we have each been overrun this month, this week and weekend in particular.
As I look back over our relationship, I have seen this happen numerous times; its unavoidable. The outside world is not interested in giving a couple a break. Not living together makes this even harder because we don't even have a small amount of "us" time in the evenings or early mornings. These times occured when I was married, so living together won't always shield you from such things, and I can only imagine how it must be for those of you in LDRs! So how to deal with such times? That is the question.
Well, I started by reading through all of the beautiful cards she has given me (yes, I keep them all), knowing that the words she has written are the words of her heart. The one I read the most was the one from this Valentine's day. The words were truly beautiful and remind me of how wonderfully special our relationship is, even with the mudane and nuisance factor things swirling around us. Since I couldn't see her or talk to her for the past three days (there are times when our schedules prevent us from seeing or talking to eachother, and she doesn't have e-mail or internet), I used the time to focus on my own feelings towards her and on just how special she really is. Rather than let the challenges steel away our love, I decided to use them to strengthen my feelings for her. I feel oblidged to say that this hasn't made not being able to see her any less frustrating; it simply keeps me focused on her and on the specialness of our relationship at a time when things and people around us seem to be trying to suck that away.
I must say that I am so honoured and pleased to have her as my valentine, and am looking forward to many more Valentine's days.
In any case, that is how I chose to deal with the distractions and time apart. I posted this, not to say how clever I am, but because I thought that it might be good for us all to share how we deal with time apart, when we really want to see or talk to our special someone, but can't. I also wanted to put a positive light to an otherwise frustrating occurance that, on one level or another, happens to us all. I have no doubt that many of you have things you do to keep your love alive when things make it very easy to put it on the back burner (or even turn the burner off!), and I thought that we could share some of our experiences in this area.
DanE