Moving in together

My boyfriend and I are going to move in together this summer (at that point, we'll have been a couple for a little over a year, but known each other for a couple years).

I've never lived with a someone I was in a relationship with, though he's been married before so he was used to sharing his space with someone.

I'm not nervous about how things will work out - we're both very easy going people with similar lifestyles and ideas about things.

But...

Anyone have any suggestions? Especially if you've done this before?

~Crysania

Last man I lived with was my ex-husband, but I've been giving the issue some thought lately. I would suggest being yourself immediately. For example, if you don't wash the dishes immediately after using them, don't all of a sudden do them as soon as the food is off the plate. Or if you never make your bed, don't do it just because he's living with you now.

Maintain your own schedule, your own habits of how you do things or at least discuss them with eachother otherwise he'll think he's getting little Betty Homemaker when what he's really getting is I'll make my bed tomorrow Jane. See what I mean?

I think often in the beginning of relationships we try to be 'all' that we think we're supposed to be and finally we just run out of steam and our partner is going, "Who are you and what have you done with the woman that cooked every night?"

It's a huge shocker to think you married/chose to live with one person and in reality they've been putting on an act. Does this make sense?

~Shan

It makes TOTAL sense. Thank you. Luckily, he won't ever see me as little Betty homemaker...that just won't happen because I HATE housework and never make my bed! lol Hopefully I wouldn't try to change that, but it IS good to be aware of it just in case.

It would be tempting to start making meals so they're ready when he gets home, and I might end up doing that, but only because on two days a week he works later than me, and the other two days I work later than him...so if we take up alternating days of cooking like that, we'd be set - still no Betty Homemaker.

We've seen how each other lives and are practically living together as is - right now it's almost like we have two apartments we live at. Luckily, we seem to have the same degrees of sloppiness/neatness going on. Hopefully we won't run into problems when we share space instead of having to take care of our own!

~Crysania

I don't have any real advice...but I've been thinking about this too since it's likely that we'll move in together at some point.

I've lived with a BF before, but we were so young (both 19) and had so many other issues, that our compatibility at home was the least of our worries. I guess the biggest things were managing finances, and personal neatness and who did what chores. For example, I made most of the money, he spent most of it, I did all the chores and he made a mess.... :rolleyes: ....so yeah I guess there were issues.

I guess the biggest thing to do is talk, talk, talk about what you like and don't like. But, it sounds like you probably already have a good idea of what each person is like anyhow if you're spending a lot of nights at each others' places.

Good luck - it's such an exciting step! :)

My bf and I have lived together for 2 months, he will leave in 3 more weeks. Living together is/was a great experience. Totally different than the 10 day visits we were used to. We had our ups and downs. After he goes back we will both evaluate if we want to do this again.

By the way I am Betty Homemaker. My bf was not that neat when he lived alone but he has cooperated a lot. It helps to have help too!

Hey congratulations! Thats sounds really awesome. I've lived with two previous bf's and now my fiance for 3 years. If you're both chilled out people it makes life better than ever.

My only tip is to watch you're eating habits. All the guys I lived with ate more than me and like to eat 3 meals routinely (rather than only little snacks through the day), and they loved my cooking. So in each case i gained some weight pretty quickly because I focused on food much more than usual, and ate with my partner. Especially now, my partner is younger and has `20-something' eating habits.....he burns most of what he eats off, where I just stack it on if I eat like him. Its all very managable though.....I have learned to skip the odd meal with him and sometimes prepare something little for myself. Ah, and i've learned to chill out about my weight too. i don't have to look a million bucks all the time around him.

Just my little comment; hope it helps:)