Difficult situation

I’m brand new to this site and brand new to the whole “younger man” thing…at least to this extent. Most of the men I’ve ever been serious with have been somewhat younger, but this is the first time I’ve had an interest in someone this much younger. I’m 49 and he’s 28. I also have some additional circumstances I haven’t seen addressed here yet.
- I’m in a long-term monogamous relationship (but sexless for the last 10 yrs…but that’s not what I’m here to discuss.) :(
- My YM is a person who works for me.
- My YM’s dad is an executive at the company I work for.
- My YM lives in his parent’s home due to some recent life circumstances.
I’ve known and worked with my YM for a couple of months but have started having these strong feelings for him over the last few weeks, probably at least partly because we’ve been working a lot alone together. I know I shouldn’t be interested in him this way, but I’m also enjoying the feeling. I can’t wait to get to work every day just to see him! I’ve kept my feelings to myself so far, but he’s got to be getting a few hints. Let me add that he’s working on a project with/for me, and that project does have a relatively near end date. At that point, one or more of the challenges above shouldn’t be a problem.

I believe we are beyond the work friend stage…I think we’re closer than that, based on some things we’ve shared. Part of me REALLY wants to go to the next level, but I don’t think I should, due to the circumstances above. But I’m really nutty for this guy, think of him almost constantly, so don’t know quite what to do. We’ve had lunch (my suggestion, his idea to do it alone), so I’ve started the ball rolling, sort of.

What I’m afraid of most is that his attention to me, the way he treats me, and his willingness to share some very personal details of his life could be either because I’m his supervisor, or maybe even because he sees me as a mother figure. It doesn’t FEEL that way, but I could be fooling myself.

And of course, there is always my SO, who I love dearly but who I’m not sure I’m IN love with.

Well, there it is. It feels better to have put it out there. I’ll be curious to see what others think. Thanks for "listening".

Whoah . . . . a lot going on here. First and foremost I think you need to look at your ten year relationship and either re-connect or get out. Take a good hard look at that. Obviously something is missing (and I'm not talking just sex).

Second, if this YM works for you, don't cross that line. Here is a definite harassement suit waiting to happen. To complicate matters . . . his dad is an executive with your company? What are you thinking girlfriend?

My advice - - keep your relationship with this YM professional. You stand to lose everything.

Be strong . . . .

With regards to the YM, I'd say that the fact that he's your underling could possibly influence his behaviour....not saying he's acting totally fake, but a lot of employees do respond to authority figures in a way that maximises good treatment/ favourism/ good references etc from their boss. Just be a little cautious, thats all.... you are dealing with someone less powerful than you in the workplace and that can add a certain dynamic to the equation.

But back to the fact that you're married.... I am wondering why you stuck with this for so long with no sex for ten years? Were you waiting for someone else to come along, or do you genuinely feel that the marriage is salvagable?

Whoah . . . . a lot going on here. First and foremost I think you need to look at your ten year relationship and either re-connect or get out. Take a good hard look at that. Obviously something is missing (and I'm not talking just sex).

Second, if this YM works for you, don't cross that line. Here is a definite harassement suit waiting to happen. To complicate matters . . . his dad is an executive with your company? What are you thinking girlfriend?

My advice - - keep your relationship with this YM professional. You stand to lose everything.

Be strong . . . .

Exactly.

You need to finish things with the SO if you want to embark on other romantic relations. Were you thinking of cheating on your current man? Is the young man just going to be booty for you?

No fair on ym.

Be careful matey!! You could be opening a whole can 'o' hurt here.

Stick with your SO. He owe him that much.

This just feels bad all the way around. Cindee is right, you stand to lose everything.

I made the mistake of dating a coworker. He flirted with me for at least a year, during which I pretended not to notice, for two reasons. He is younger, and we work for the same company. When, after all this time, I finally decided to give it a try, we went on four incredibly wonderful dates. We talked for hours on the phone, almost daily. He said and did all the right things. He said he wanted the same things I do. He hinted at a future together.

There were no fights or disagreements at all, but now, he doesn't seem to remember I exist. He doesn't call, or return calls. He doesn't even speak at the office. Apparently it was all about the chase, or conquest for him.