New also

Hello,
I'm 19 years old, and am having trouble with an older woman. She was my forensics teacher in highschool (34 years) , and chapperoned a group of seniors on a trip to europe. When I was her student, she was going through some times and I had just broken up with a long time highschool sweetheart, and we became buddies. Since then we've just gotten closer and closer. Nothing big has ever happened, because everything was always "inappropriate" while I was her student. Recently, she told me things my be "a little more appropriate," now that I've graduated. The green lights have been blinding me since I met her, but I'm afraid to take a sign the wrong way, if she's just being a nice person. How can I tell which way she wants the relationship to go? With a girl my age, I'd be more assertive, but I'm following her footsteps more than anything else just because she is older than me. Do you guys have any advice on what I should do? Any thoughts are greatly appreciated.
-Phil

Phil,
You already have an advanage that you two are friends and you can talk. I'm 43 and I can tell you that if she said things are more appropriate, it means that she is more comfortable to discuss it. It's all about getting to know eachother just like any other relationship. I personally like it when a man is interested in what I like, how I see things, what I like to do for fun. Hey we're like any other girl. I am now with a 57 year old man, but a few months ago a 24 year old asked me for a walk and coffee and personally he was so wonderful that I would have gone out with him longer but he was so afraid of not being good enough. That thought can kill a relationship no matter what the age is. Especially when the person thinks you're great. I have those feelings of not being good enough as well but I just tell myself this..."If I don't think I"m good enough I better do something to be better." Sometimes all we need with the other person is to be ourselves because that's why they like us in the first place. I would love it if a younger man asked me for a ride in the country or to go for romantic walks...it is a simple way to get to know eachother without it being complicated. Let her know you're interested by caring enough to ask about herself. Don't be afraid to look into her eyes. After a couple of dates I like it when the man puts his hand on my shoulder for a couple of seconds...it let's you both know if it's okay to touch at that point. Or if you're sitting across from her, look into her eyes and lightly touch her hand and see if she pulls away or responds. These are small gestures people use at any age. Believe me if she thought it wasn't okay to discuss this with you then she would never say it's more appropriate now.

Lolita,
Thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it. I feel a lot better knowing she probably just wants me to be myself. Everything is really comfortable between us. I don't have to try to be who she likes, I don't even think about it, it all just flows. I will try a couple things just to see how comfortable we are. She's put her arm around me and stuff, but I just disregarded like "close-friends" because I didn't want to take anything the wrong way. I'm supposed to go to a movie with her this weekend, so well see how it goes. Thanks again!
-Phil

Well, we saw "v for vendetta" today. This was actually the first time I've ever spent time alone with her, and I was really feeling a positive vibe from her. I've had the same problem the whole time, I can't tell if it's her genuine interest, or if she is really that nice of a person. I didn't try anything physical, I really wasn't prepared to take that bold of a step. My overall conclusion was that I'd think she was ready for the next step, if I were treating her like a girl my age. What do you think?

Well, we saw "v for vendetta" today. This was actually the first time I've ever spent time alone with her, and I was really feeling a positive vibe from her. I've had the same problem the whole time, I can't tell if it's her genuine interest, or if she is really that nice of a person. I didn't try anything physical, I really wasn't prepared to take that bold of a step. My overall conclusion was that I'd think she was ready for the next step, if I were treating her like a girl my age. What do you think?

I think if you hadn't spent alone time together until today your next step should be to ask her on another date. Pick something obviously date-like, invite her to a nice restaurant with you paying (if that's the done thing wherever you live). Start dating her. Don't worry about the physical, but if she puts her arm around you again you could always try holding her hand.. "just friends" don't usually do that but it is a gentle way to put out physical feelers.

I do agree that when she says things may be more appropriate now that could easily be seen as a green light. It would certainly mean that if I said it. However she may be nervous herself which is why I think the dating thing is the way to go. You will have lots of good conversation time :)

She's been trying to get me to try sushi forever. And I told her no, I'll never do it, because it's raw fish and I jut couldn't get my mind past it. The other day I had a talk with my manager, and decided that if I'm not going to try other people's cultures, at least once, what am I living for? I told her about my idea, and she'd be glad to take me.
Next, she wrote me an email this morning, it says "Thanks for the movie. i had alot of fun catching up with you. maybe we can do it again when i get back from break. " Mission status: success.
And lastly, I decided, why am I wondering how to treat her? This website is called "ageless love" for a reason, it doesnt matter how old I treat her as, because she likes the way I treat her, and it's that simple.
Thank you for your support! I wouldn't have gotten anywhere without you guys!
-Phil