I want my om but I want a kid!!!!

Thing between my om and me are wonderful we are in love (totally crazy) what we both think me being 21 him being 50. The age difference dosent bother me but it bothers him alittle because of the mature level i am at. We talk about having a future together and its great. The one thing that sucks is he doesnt want anymore kids he did have a visectiomy how ever you spell it :) I know you can get it reversed but I cant force him to do that. I want to have a future with him but I want a child what do I do or say to him???

Thing between my om and me are wonderful we are in love (totally crazy) what we both think me being 21 him being 50. The age difference dosent bother me but it bothers him alittle because of the mature level i am at. We talk about having a future together and its great. The one thing that sucks is he doesnt want anymore kids he did have a visectiomy how ever you spell it :) I know you can get it reversed but I cant force him to do that. I want to have a future with him but I want a child what do I do or say to him???

Honestly at your age I would relax. I would enjoy my OM right now and see what the future holds. You have plenty of time for children and you could cross that bridge when it's time. What I'm saying is....enjoy him for now....I feel like you will change your mind with the relationship as you reach some stages of your life. Please no one flame me on this...we all know the 20's are a time of change and she has a few to hurdle.

Goodluck Sweetie :)

Well you need to think about whats important to you...

If you want a child then do NOT give up those dreams..... Bearing children is a HUGE PART of life... I know when I was dating my now husband I explained to him that I want to have children I was lucky and he wanted more but I did tell him that that was one thing I would not change my mind about... and he was fine with it.... I am 30 and he is 47...... HOWEVER.... You need to also understand that his decision is just as important... Unfortunatly when men get older expecially over 50 a lot of times they don't want to start a family at that age... You guys just need to talk and put your priorities straight but If you want children then I say maybe this relationship isn't for you

I wouldn't give up on him having a kid at his age. I know there are alot of naysayers out there who would have you believe he's a 50 y.o. stick-in-the mud who won't change his mind, and to "move on to other relationships". I'm here to offer hope. I was 47 when we had our second baby and I have to say this is one of the most fulfilling things I've ever done! I am more mature, more appreciative, and more prepared for fatherhood this time around then I was with my first child at 37. And I would do it all over again! Alot of people are having babies in their 40s and 50s, it's not as unusual as it once was. You should tell him that and let him know how important having kids is to you.

Best of luck.

So your OM thinks you are immature? Somebody call the press! You are 21 for goodness sake. And sorry you still have the right to be immature because you are still young. It takes time to grow up. I remember being 21 and immature was my moto.

Don't give up your hopes of having children. As a mother there is nothing that will ever compare. I would give up everything in my life but never give up being a mother.

Have fun and keep things light in your life. You have plenty of it left to live.

-Nibbles

Thing between my om and me are wonderful we are in love (totally crazy) what we both think me being 21 him being 50. The age difference dosent bother me but it bothers him alittle because of the mature level i am at. We talk about having a future together and its great. The one thing that sucks is he doesnt want anymore kids he did have a visectiomy how ever you spell it :) I know you can get it reversed but I cant force him to do that. I want to have a future with him but I want a child what do I do or say to him???

Sorry sweetie, but your spelling, gramer, word-usage and punctuation suck and at 21, you think you're in a position to bring another life into this world? Try getting your own life together before you make a baby.

I'm with Sara - calm down.

Having a kid is a huge decision even for "normal" (non-AGR) couples.

But the bigger issue here is learning to be a couple and that includes considering each other's needs and wants... and somehow making decisions together. If you and he are not able to do that... well, it won't be much of a relationship with or without children.

I also do not subscribe to the theory that women are somehow automatically qualified to have children simply because they want one and because motherhood is wonderful. Spelling and grammar are not on the list of qualifications, but being able to look beyond the moment is... and being able to look past self is. Hmmm... that's among the same skills required to have a successful relationship. But I digress. My point is that you do need to give some thought about the important things in your life, how to balance them out, and what to do when you can't have it all.

Sorry sweetie, but your spelling, gramer, word-usage and punctuation suck and at 21, you think you're in a position to bring another life into this world? Try getting you own life together before you make a baby.
Ok, I agree you need to get a relationship together before you start talking about having children together. However, the decision to have or not have children at some point is important. That falls under the goals heading. If two people are on completely different pages on something that they consider very important, why build a relationship you know is going to be flawed later?

Besides all that, from my understanding she isnt talking about having a baby tomorrow or even next year. SOME day she would. But, even if she were to want a baby this minute, spelling and grammar have nothing to do with being a fit parent. A single post also does not tell you anything about her maturity or ability to raise a child. Age is just a number. She may be the best or the worst mother alive, and it would have nothing to do with her being 21, it has to do with the person. My OM and I are talking about having a child next summer, which would make me a Mom at 21. Personally, I dont think being 21 will impair my ability to love and parent a child.

Hubby had his first son when he was 21. He loves that boy more than anything else in the world, and even though he was only 21 at the time, everyone who knew him then says a baby couldnt have asked for a better daddy.

Sorry sweetie, but your spelling, gramer, word-usage and punctuation suck and at 21, you think you're in a position to bring another life into this world? Try getting your own life together before you make a baby.


Thank you Drifter for being so nice! My word-usage and gramer suck I guess all the money I pay for to go to school really isnt working oh (isn't) not to be a smart *** or anything I just really dont care about being all proper in this web site. I said what I needed to say but let me clairfy something I said I wanted to have kids I didnt say I wanted to have a child tomorrow. When you find someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with I think it is important to discuss children am I wrong??