Funny, smart, pretty...romantic? Talk to me

Greetings from a chilly Southwest this fine evening. After reading many of your posts, I have this to say, if you please...

I'm 46, and I feel like I'm kind of in the middle, age-wise. And all my life the point I've been trying to make is this: Romance and companionship can be found and enjoyed just on the face of it. Do you know what I mean? With the social pressures that we all face these days, it really is o.k. to touch or kiss another human being without it having to be foreplay. Have you ever just been held all night? Does anyone remember what "necking" means? It's kissing and hugging and holding and talking and looking into someone's eyes and knowing what her dreams are without having to be told. To know that her smile is the prettiest thing you've ever seen. It means sharing a part of yourself that is so very personal without the anguish of the pressure to do something sexual that you're not ready for yet. Now, ladies.....don't get me wrong. I'm as red-blooded as any man and sex really is too much fun, but can you just hold me for a few hours? Days? Let me kiss you again and feel your hand on my face...

I don't think it's out of the question to hope for a lady to come into my life who is funny, smart, pretty, and knows what I'm talking about. I want to know you the right way - I want to know you, period, and for you to know me, but does the kind of old fashioned romance and companionship I seek and hope for still exist, or....has society fallen victim to nothing more than a roll in the hay? Can't we just sit on the couch and neck and talk and dream about yesterday and hope for tomorrow for a while before we.....but what's a "while?" An hour? A month? Tomorrow? I guess we all have our own take on it but.....I know that funny, smart, and pretty is an obtainable wish because I just happen to be funny, smart, and......handsome?
Two outta three anyway, on a good day.....

Of course, there are many more wishes to hope for, but I do believe it's a good place to start. Especially here in Vegas, which is a tough town to live in for a variety of reasons. I've seen love get lost within the fear because no one talks about it in an open, direct and honest way. Or so it seems. I want to know you, so I can love all of you. I want the emotional, the physical....I want the "I can't eat or sleep since I met her" because the chemistry is just too good. Oh yeah, I remember what that feels like. And it's alright to have all of it along with the academic. It really is o.k. to talk to the person yu're in love with and tell them your own dreams and wishes and hopes, because those are good things. Those are wonderful, beautiful things, but too often love can be so bitter-sweet.

I'll leave the bitter-sweet to some sweet n' sour pork I may have for dinner tonight. How about you?

Jeff

There is a very strong possibility my friend that you just might be the man of my dreams. ;)

So I'm really not just blowing smoke, right? I mean...have I really recognized romantic love for what it is and I'm just remembering, or has it just been a dream all these years?


Jake to Samantha: "Make a wish"

Sam to Jake: "It already came true"

Someone remembered her birthday....

You definitely ain't blowing smoke.....any girl would be lucky to have such a romantic bloke! :)

(ooh, a poet and I didn't know it - jajaja)

As long as you are genuine, that is.... :p

My questions is........if you're as good as you make yourself out to be.......then why haven't you found someone to appreciate you?

Sometimes when we try too hard, we miss what is right in front of us......perhaps you're looking for love in all the wrong places........

Sora

My questions is........if you're as good as you make yourself out to be.......then why haven't you found someone to appreciate you?

Sometimes when we try too hard, we miss what is right in front of us......perhaps you're looking for love in all the wrong places........

Sora

Sora, quit talking about me like that! hehe... Isn't that an old cry-n-ya-beer country song? lol ...Sometimes the good ones are still single, cuz we're too picky, or looking in the wrong places. I think I'm still single, because I made the mistake of "looking".

BTW, Jeff..... if you're truly represent what you write, then someone is missing out bigtime. Welcome to Agelesslove!! Kick off yer shoes and come hang a while. :)

hmmm for every single guy in south florida there are 10 pretty, intelligent, successful women ready to bounce their bones. personally, i have had the opportunity to stand back when i was single and now that i am married make an observation that has been met with negative responce as well insinuating i am a game player.

if ya like a guy, hold off on sex. men need intrique, they need a challenge, its a turnon, if a guy holds out after a woman is ready then i would begin to wonder, but i still think when we give up ourselves so soon we give up control, not for the upper hand but for a 50/50 chance we are getting into something that we want as women.

DAILY my friends jump into bed and dont get a call, a note, a second asking when they jump into bed. it freaks me out really, i cant believe its all that casual???? its sex for God sake, i get really tired on how its portrayed so easily on our favorite tv shows and in advertising and magazines and where ever media strikes, its crap.

more attention should be made to the details and what it takes to be intimate before sex, now thats sexy, using the heart as the first organ to a relationship and not the genitals.

Well said Sora, but I never said I was good. I said I understand. And I did find someone to appreciate me but it was a long time ago. and it was an excellent lesson in the definition of loss. But whether I have experienced the return of love, or the loss of the unrequited, my heart remains.

Jeff

And thank you GypsyHeart for the nice welcome....

…if ya like a guy, hold off on sex. men need intrique, they need a challenge, its a turnon, if a guy holds out after a woman is ready then i would begin to wonder, but i still think when we give up ourselves so soon we give up control, not for the upper hand but for a 50/50 chance we are getting into something that we want as women…


Kittylane, I couldn't agree more. I am so tired of the expectation that a man is "due" sex just because he's paid me a compliment or bought me a meal. I've had some encounters lately that have left me in a state of shock. Since when is it appropriate to initiate sex (cyber or otherwise) with someone whose name you don't even know?! :eek: No romance, no connecting, just sex for the hell of it!

Call me old fashion, call me out of touch, but I happen to believe that sex IS a big deal, and I'm not going to have it with just any random body! I'm 45 and single, and I want a good man in my life, but I'm not willing to sell myself, body and soul, and then sit around hoping that some joker calls again. I want a man who's man enough to take on this whole woman - not just a piece.

I'm sure this posture has, and will cost me the fleeting interest of any number of otherwise eager males, but I look at it this way: if I lose some guy, I'll get another, if I lose ME, I'm gone forever.

Jeff, if you are as genuine as you appear to be, you are certainly a gem - rare and precious - and any woman would be very lucky to have you.

Thanks for letting me vent. :o

hello everyone, i have stopped back by again! Sora i love you sweetie, but i have to try and make some sense of this.

I've danced to this tune before Jeff.. Lets change the beat.

While i admire the heart felt speech you gave, It makes me wonder, IF this man is true to his word, and means what he says, then there is no reason as to why you should not have someone.

Before i met sora, i devoted myself to "Spiritual Training" where i turned my eyes inward on myself to fix the inperfections in my personality. During this time, i had no job, nor money, car, and lived with my parents. I was NOT interested in girls much. Then i met Linny and my life changed. I too feel the same way towards women, thinking that they are treasures of this world and are to be admired. I try to keep what i learned in my training in my relationship "Virtue, Trust, Integrity, but most of all Love"

enough of me though, back to you. i can only think of a couple reasons how you could be "Prince charming" and not have someone, either 1. and to be blatantly obvious, you're ugly.. sorry. or 2. you are not who you can "Type" yourself to be.

While i have seen many people in this thread fall for your words from the start, i won't be so hesitant to give you that credit, and you must understand this, for the simple fact that i don't know you. and I never take things for face value, i wait.. and see what lay beneath.

So my friend, and i call you that loosely cause as i said, i do not know you. I will be watching you, if not on my own account then through the eyes of my beloved sora.. you better treat the people of this forum well, and live up to your "typing" or i will loose all respect for you as a human

sincerely,
Shin

P.S. hope i didn't sound to scary, i kinda do that sometimes ^^; Mata ne!

Hello Shin, and now let me respond to your concerns in the most honest and candid way I know how. You may want to actually read what I've written because from the tone of your response, you're already thinking the worst of someone you don't even know. I am not some Prince Charming as you put it, but rather an average, 46 year old, hard working man who has his own dreams and fears, among other things.

The posts that I have written have nothing to do with the scumbag guys from the past who have led the ladies astray here so please don't confuse me with someone else, o.k.? Again Shin, if you read my words, you'll figure out that I'm just telling you what I believe in, nothing more, nothing less. But according to you, I'm SUPPOSED TO ALREADY HAVE SOMEONE BECAUSE I TALK SO BIG??? Lemme tell you all how that works, o.k.?

I may fancy myself as smart, funny, and (almost) handsome but when a man lacks the self confidence as I do, when a man has been hurt as badly as I have by the one woman who I was truly in love with, and when a man has buried his two best friends before they were 30, sometimes that same man just isn't in too big of a hurry to love again. Do you get it now, Shin? I didn't come here looking for anyone or anything and if the people who come here daily are so afraid because of what has already happened in the past then maybe I'm in the wrong place, or maybe they are, because nothing from the past before I got here has ANYTHING to do with me. It must be a difficult life for you, being so judgemental of people you don't know. That's called fear, Shin. So please read again what I've written and you might figure out that I'm just another lonely person in a world that's changed too much.

And please DON'T call me Prince Charming, aye?? My name is Jeff and you are invited to use it, since in a polite society, one doesn't use another's given name unless invited to do so, o.k.? Can I have my coffee now?

And i think you have mis-understood me as well.. i am not casting "Judgement" on you, thats not my place, i am simply saying.. IF what you say is true, that I am honored that another person like this exists.. BUT if this is a sherade.. or a lie.. I will expose you for it.

As for being "Lonely" as you stated in the end. if you are at peace with yourself inward, then there is no way one can feel alone, for "Alone" is a feeling that makes one uncomfortable. thus not at peace with themselves.

So again, i am not passing judgement on you.. I am simply saying, your words better be from the heart. or i'll find a crack in the code, and expose it. and NO this is not a threat. I am just really good at figuring people out.


sincerely,
Shin

Can a man be extremely romantic, passionate, cuddle like there is no end, love you madly and still not make any moves towards sex? Just wondering....

Yep, it appears that a man can! :D

Actually, I tend to think that it is a bit of a myth that all men are driven to have sex, as if it is some uncontrollable urge.

I get the feeling from your post, that maybe he is really nervous b/c it has been so long. If he was worried about his snoring, I betcha that he's a bit of a worrier in general and is likely worrying about his "performance".

I'd give him some space....he's probably not ready yet, and seems to be taking this step quite seriously. My BF dated but didn't actually do anything with women between his separation and me, which was about 3 years too. And, we talked and talked and talked about it all beforehand. We both needed to feel like we were committed for the long term before we took it to that level.

My husband and I were friends and kissers on the "couch" for four months before we had sex, and that was the longest he had ever waited for anyone!
And guess what---he married me! (Of course, when I finally said "Go!" he didn't waste any time!).

For some people like Jeff, true, deep love may only happen once.
Give yourself another chance, Jeff. Its not hard to find a romantic woman, its harder to find a romantic man!

Welcome to the site, Jeff, and good luck with your quest!

I don't think it's out of the question to hope for a lady to come into my life who is funny, smart, pretty, and knows what I'm talking about. I want to know you the right way - I want to know you, period, and for you to know me, but does the kind of old fashioned romance and companionship I seek and hope for still exist, or....has society fallen victim to nothing more than a roll in the hay?


I am soon turning 48, and the older I become, the more I appreciate, and yearn for, this kind of intimacy that you describe. And, in fact, if I had to choose between this and sex, I'd choose this kind of intimacy any day. Sex is wonderful of course :D but a true intimate connection between partners is more lasting. :)

So, yeah, Jeff, there are women out there who do happen to understand what you are saying.