Attracted to younger men or just happened that way?

Hi
I was wondering if everyone here are attracted to younger men or it just happened that way?
I would love to meet someone my own age but the past two relationships I have had have both been younger men and it wasn't on purpose.
They found me, I never found them.
What's everyone else's experiences?
Ruthann :)

For me, the relationship I am in now (and forever) just sort of happened. I guess we sort of found each other. We have been together for a long time (happily married).
Can I ask you why you are wanting to meet someone your own age? I think age doesn't matter as long as you are compatible. :)

I have endured some good hearted teasing by friends because I always seem to meet younger guys. This is my first relationship with a YM (29 - I'm 42)... the other 2 or 3 guys (33 yr. olds)I dated a bit and ended up friends with. I do believe that I naturally have an 'eye' for a nice looking younger man (usually mid 30's). But I was getting a little skeptical that maybe the YM looking for OW were looking for something different than I was. . I hate to say it but the "MILF" thing.

I was really ready to try to meet men my own age when my YM found me. I would also like to add that men my own age don't ask me out. Maybe they are busy asking out the YW?

Hi Kindaofnice..
I just thought meeting someone my own age would allow me
to feel relaxed about my appearance. I have never been very
vain nor worried about what I look like and that is ALL that I think
about now. I have been with someone very younger than me for
8 months. He lied to me and told me he was 9 years older than
he really was and it was too late. I already had feelings for him but
I was in a relationship before with someone younger and I didnt
want to do that again.

And to Juliette, that's all that ever asks me out, is younger guys.
I have this little piggy nose. I think it throws people off and they
think I am younger.

One more question? I know this will probably not be a popular question.
But do you ever feel like something is wrong with us because we like
younger guys?
The other day i went out with my boyfriend and an older friend of his and
he was scanning the bar for young babes. it totally grossed me out until I realized duh!! I am in the same boat, but I never went looking for him.
Thanks for listening everyone
Ruthann

Ah! Latigra, relax. I am sure your appearance is fine. :D He may have lied about his age because he was afraid you were trippin' out about the difference. He probably picked up on that.
As for your question- Nope, I don't think anything is wrong with us. It's just personal preferences. And the compatibility thing :) If you get along better with the younger fellas-whats wrong with that? Obviously they are attracted to you if thats all that asks you out. I wouldn't sweat it. Have some fun. And stop fretting over the age difference. If you get past that, you may just see the love of your life. ;)

but doesn't it seem creepy when you see a guy scamming young women?
I don't know, I didn't see anything wrong with me until I seen this older guy doing that in a bar adn it totally creeped me out and then it made me feel bad about myself.

but doesn't it seem creepy when you see a guy scamming young women?
I don't know, I didn't see anything wrong with me until I seen this older guy doing that in a bar adn it totally creeped me out and then it made me feel bad about myself.
well, yep, of course if I saw a guy SCAMMING young women, that would be creepy.
i guess if you are looking to scam y/m that would be equally creepy :eek:
i don't think you are doing that..... :confused: so why would you feel bad about normal attraction?

I guess I just feel bad about what other people would think of me when they see him with me.
This sounds so sexist but it doesn't seem creepy to ME when I see a OW with a YM because I think with most women it is not about the sex, with a lot of guys scamming younger women, that's what it is for and to show off to their friends, although i know it is NOT always the case.
There are so many women my age that act so old and I can't do that.
maybe that is why I attract younger men.
I am into all kinds of music, love to go out, love to live young.
you know what I mean?

I guess I am seeing some of what you mean. But you will have to get over worrying about what ppl think. Ppl judge on all sorts of issues. Not just A/G.
we had ppl to judge us and size us up on our A/G. They are no longer a part of our lives. You just have to avoid these folk. Who cares what they think? As for just the general public....you may get some gawkers and snubbers...but that's their own ignorant problem...it's your life...i sure wouldn't close my mind to y/m because of other ppls opinions.
I would just be myself if I were you and continue to enjoy life ;)
Keep posting and let us know how its going.

thanks so much kindofnice.
these place gives me a piece of mind.
i went out with one younger guy before but
he was in his 30's. it barely made a difference
to me and quite frankly, he didn't even deserve me
so I never worried about my appearance etc.
this guy is WAY younger and decent and nice
and I worry more about it but everyone here puts
my mind at ease.
Thanks
Ruthann
:)

In all honesty tho. I do have to say that I do try to look my very best for my fella. Speaking of the appearance thing....
It may very well have something to do with the a/g. Or maybe I would be that way in any relationship....as I suspect might. I would be lying if I said that I didn't have thoughts of getting "old" before he does. But there is a commonality with these thoughts between us o/w that are with the y/m. Thats why I find it quite refreshing to read thru threads here. Let's me know that I am not alone in some of my ways of thinking....

I know this will probably not be a popular question.But do you ever feel like something is wrong with us because we like
younger guys?


I think that there is definitely a lot RIGHT with us because we like younger men. OW who are open to this kind of "out of the box" relationship are women who are solid about who they are as women, willing to learn and grow, genuine, playful, have youthful spirits, and are not into accepting life as a rut. We are resilient and adventurous, and become even moreso as we experience life in an AGR.

There is no "weirdness" about it. Don't worry latigra, you are "normal". Inter- racial couples, gay couples, OM/YW couples, etc. have been teaching society some much needed tolerance lessons for decades....their preferences are all "normal", certainly valid, and so are ours :D

My first ow/ym relationship just came out of nowhere, blindsided me.... but through that one I grew to prefer dating/being in a relationship with younger men because of all that they bring to the table. Some women need "providers", men who are "settled" with portfolios and security, etc.....I'm independent and don't need those things; I am more attracted to energetic, playful, fit, focused, generous, honest, spontaneous, spiritual, libido-matching, willing-to-keep learning, non-jaded younger men. I'd rather have a peer-relationship rather than a provider-relationship. My preference for dating younger men is solid now, and it works for me because like you, that's who I attract :D (I think men my age are a bit intimidated by my confidence and playfulness, whereas younger men admire and appreciate that in me).

Welcome to the boards!`

Ah I didn't even think about the bi-racial thing.
He is hispanic and I am very blonde.
My ex husband is hispanic though and I don't
even sweat the racial stuff, nor would I care.
I experienced some crap with my ex but with
people who are ignorant who I could care
two craps about.
thanks for all your support
you guys are awesome.
Ruthann

After my divorce at 49, I accepted that my sex life was over because, except for my ex-husband who I was sexually attracted to for more than 18 years, I had/have never met a man my age or older that I found/find
sexually attractive. When I found Agelesslove.com and found out that there were younger men that found older women attractive, I was ECSTATIC because it opened a whole new world of possibilities for me.

So yes, although it never occured to me that a younger man would find me attractive until I found this website and because I am not given to fantasy, I didn't know that I could be attracted to a younger man, but when the door of possibility was opened - YES I was looking for a younger man, and was attracted to my former lover because he was young and beautiful and passionate and sweet and eager to please and because his personality had not been changed by negative life experiences - particularly with regard to his attitude about women - and because he thought I was sexy and attractive and simply wonderful, and it delighted me and excited me instead of grossing me out! :D

:) hey guys...
just thought I might add my two cents..
I think my attraction to y/m is more due to the fact they are not treatened by a confident, self-made, secure, sexually content woman. They grew up with mothers that worked and often in powerful roles, with girls that were more equals in school and sports, and sexually active girls. Mainly they were not around the traditional roles men in their fortys and fifties had in society...
and we are looking better and better as we age...

I am 45 this year and went through a year of very low libido, till I got checked out hormonally...I have dated in the twenties since I became the new hot comodity at thirty of being the older woman...and like you said..they find me...even tho thisa year also put on 20 xtra lbs...which now i am taking off, I still have a 29 yr old who thinks i hung the moon.

so good luck ladies!!!

Good points, aztxnlady, and I LOVE that expression, "he thinks I hug the moon"!!!

"I think that there is definitely a lot RIGHT with us because we like younger men. OW who are open to this kind of 'out of the box' relationship are women who are solid about who they are as women, willing to learn and grow, genuine, playful, have youthful spirits, and are not into accepting life as a rut. We are resilient and adventurous, and become even moreso as we experience life in an AGR."

Loved this idea put forth by Special K. I have thought for quite some time that it was a deficit in my character development that drew me to someone so young. What did my childhood lack, what trauma caused me to be emotionally stunted, etc. It makes me glad to consider the OW/YM relationship from a positive paradigm. I have a young-thinking, playful and adventurous character that works well with someone who is unjaded and in some respects innocent about the "heavier" aspects of life. Serendipity and free-thinking are two qualities I really cherish sharing with my YM.

No, I don't think there is anything more "wrong" with us than any other red-blooded, fallible, muddling-thru-the-muck human on the planet. We may not be in the majority, but do you really want to use that as your standard of measurement? If possible, don't examine your relationship second-hand thru the eyes of others -- that will keep you from authentically knowing what you want out of life. Take some time alone, consider what is really precious to you, and then pursue it with reckless abandon! :D

.....anyone my age or above. Have always had younger guys. Last one was a 23 year old French man. Now I'm with an Italian - have not been out with a Brit guy for 15 years or more....darn, I'm a sucker for accents!! LOL! Jajajajaja!

Not actively sought them out, but have always been attracted to young ( & handsome) guys because they are

a) more available (ie: single)
b) more fun
c) yummy! (now I sound like a dirty old perve! :D )

Now I am so in love - feels like in love properly for the first time, my insecurites rise up - until I have a quick read on ageless - then I kick them to the kerb.

Aw, sod it - just enjoy!

(My fella has loads of wrinkles and is losing his hair, so the ageing thing? Whatever, most people think we look about the same age)

Well I don't have any special attraction to younger men. After my divorce I figured if I ended up with anyone else they would be at least 10 years older than me--this was based purely on looks, I thought older guys looked very appealing. However I will say the ones I met had some similar characteristics which seriously put me off.. namely they were all, every one, a luddite in some way. They were FIXED in the past, still listened to the same music they loved in their early 20's, poopooed newer music forms, were suspicious of technology, they were all kind of *frozen* in some time warp. I could go on and on.. however I did not think this meant I was looking at the wrong age group, rather that I was incredibly picky. The whole luddite thing I find extremely offputting, it's not something I could get past easily.

When I met my husband I had never considered a younger person, in fact I recall saying to people I couldn't imagine being involved with a man any more than 5 years younger than me and even that was stretching it. So it was a great shock to have such an attraction and connection with someone 13 years younger.. we have been together nearly 7 years now and married for 2 1/2 years. I don't think I have a preference for younger men even though I have an aversion to older men, at least those in my social circle. I just have a preference for MY HUSBAND who is everything I could ever want in another human being.

Thanks everyone

I was just thinking that something was wrong with me.
Feeling guilty.
My guy is 18 years younger, god, it makes me have
a panic attack just thinking it.
but he loves me.

hey, did any of your younger men have experiences with
older women at a very young age?
I was thinking that maybe that was why they were so attracted
to us. they were ruined by some amazing younger woman when
they were real young and never wanted to go back to anyone
their age again. Let's face it, the older we get, the better we get.
Sexually, I was awful when I was in my 20's but another 20 year
old would never notice cuz I think we were all like that.
My guy was with a 36 year old when he was 14.
I think that is why he likes such older women.

i went out with someone younger than me about 5 years ago
and all he was looking for, was someone to take care of him.
anyone ever have that experience?
I am not super financially stable to be in the position to support
someone but even if I was, I couldn't respect a man who would
let me do that.
Thanks again for listening, you guys always make me feel better.
hugs
Ruthann
:D

good fro u chatterbox im just waking up myself,

my thing is Im 20 years older than my husband, and Im very open minded, but it gets a bit emotional fo me at times, I find myself wondering when he leaves the house is he going to cheat, its nerve recking

When I fell in love with my bf, who is 18 years younger than me, I felt as if someone had pulled the rug out from under me. I was floored and tried to fight my feelings for six months before I'd give in to them. So, no, I wasn't looking at all. Not for him, or any man of any age. :)

As for his attraction towards me, he has mentioned many times that he finds my maturity attractive. He think it's great that I'm independent and "know what I want."

He is the oldest child in his family, and has been raised in some rough conditions. So, I think he matured at an early age. He was never involved with an older woman before me.

I didn't seek a younger man and I've always found older men more attractive for logical reasons. I connected with a younger man, met him, fell in love and now we have a wonderfully illogical relationship that's full of love and desire.

If our relationship failed I wouldn't be interested in dating somebody else, but if I ever changed my mind, I certainly wouldn't seek out a younger man. It seems like so much more understanding and effort is required--although that could also be because we are also in a long distance relationship.

:rolleyes:

I looked to the right of me in my human reproduction lab in college and there he was winking at me, week after week. Wasn't looking. And a man my age with his life together and kind would be a nice change I think. Life with this YM is a roller coaster. I like the ride, but at some point I'll want to get off.

that's the way I feel sometimes "Intime" but would we miss the YM?
There are pros and cons to both the same man and the younger man.
I need the spontaneity, the liveliness that younger people or young
at heart people have. it's so hard to find someone my age who
is the same as me.

I am 52, Oscar is 20, we met online 7 months ago. He was attracted to me and wanted more than friendship, and I told him ALL the reason why that could never be, but he was a sweetie, and we just got closer and closer, we are now in love. We have not told his family yet, my family is learning a little at the time. I have been told that this is not a rare thing in todays world. I found this site, and thought maybe someone here could advise us how to help our family understand our relationship. My friends, at first were very cautious but, Oscar has convinced them that he truly loves me, and they are now supportive. We would appreciate any advice or help you can give. A year ago, I would have said NO WAY! if someone told me this could happen to me!

Well in my case I had never been out with a younger man, nor was I looking for one...just sort of happened!

All my friends are in their early twenties, as I have many interests that don't 'fit' the stereotypical 52 year old woman. Such as, I am a keen online video gamer, and love attending live music events that I at times review for a webzine.
I was in fact hoping to meet someone nearer my own age, but this 26 year old (told me he was 30 at first!) just came into my life.

Almost 4 months on now, and we are in deep! This was not sought, planned or desired...but it is the best thing that has ever happened to either of us.
Who knows what the future may bring, but the present is wonderful. :)

I'm from the other side of the boards....

... I've always prefered OM, as in 10-15 years older. I never would have thought I'd be with a guy who's 30 years older than myself.

I like what Special K wrote, and I could see myself in my 40s and 50s really enjoying younger men. The YM who I've met who prefer OW appeal to me now, however I was told by one of them that I'd be way sexier in at leasat 10 years! (I'm 24)

You know what's weird, now that I think of it? I was much more worried about my same-age and older exes cheating on me than I am of my husband cheating on me! Sure, I have my insecure moments (who doesn't?) but, at the end of the day, I trust the love of my life because he loves me, he knows I'm a treasure, and most of all because he deserves it.

Ah I didn't even think about the bi-racial thing.
He is hispanic and I am very blonde.
My ex husband is hispanic though and I don't
even sweat the racial stuff, nor would I care.
I experienced some crap with my ex but with
people who are ignorant who I could care
two craps about.
thanks for all your support
you guys are awesome.
Ruthann


My boyfriend is also hispanic, I'm scottish

At first the cultural differences did matter, as we were soooooooo different, his upbringing and social skills were very different and challenging and never met any close friends I think the age gap freaked him out at first.

He has matured, (slowly) and it has taken a lot of love and patience to be where we are now


I never went out looking for a younger man, I just dated who I thought attractive, my boyfriend fibbed about his age as he thought I wouldn't go out with him because he was much younger than me.

Nowadays I don't give 2 hoots if anyone says anything, I won't put up with no crap from him ( he has learnt a lot) or snidey comments from anyone. His mother was horrified by my age to begin with.

Some of his other relatives are coming over soon and his mother is sending over a prezzie for me ( I know, cool eh) his father even says hello every now and then on the phone

they are more accepting of me, we have been together over 2 years.

YM/OW relationships I would say are not for everyone, they are certainly is not an easy journey all the time
All relationship have their up and downs in the end it is how you handle the ups and downs, and show by example.

I have been dating younger men for over 35 years. Like some of the other posters, they were the ones who always asked me out. I finally realized that I was attracted to only younger men, so now that is whom I date exclusively.

As I have gotten older, the age gap in my relationships has grown. I am not attracted to men in their twenties because I feel that, for the most part, they are not ready for a committed lifetime relationship with a woman my age. Anyway, I prefer men in their middle or late thirties. Buuuut, since my last three relationships were with men who were all a couple of years younger than the lower limit I had set for myself, I wouldn't be surprised if I were to cross that line again.

I find that I have much more in common with younger men and get along better with them.

Congratulations on your relationship and welcome to Ageless! Enjoy yourself and don't worry unless you have a valid reason.

You know I've had deep thoughts myself lately as to why I'm with such a younger man but it just kinda happened, worked together and we just basically collided LOL....

Am I happy with the relationship? No I don't feel comfortable...but am I attracted to younger men...yes but I was always afraid to go for it...

My past marriage have been older men...I really wonder alot about this type of relationship working but I don't have enough experience and time at it to tell....

Anyway we shall see.,..........

My my.....what a brave couple you are! As long as you remember that your YM will go through some changes in the next couple years that have NOTHING to do with you, you may survive it. As for his parents, they would naturally object. You are probably someone they would consider one of their peers...hard to think of you as a daughter-in-law. :p

The longer you are together, the less they can object. What can I say? The ol' "meet the inlaws" thing is NEVER easy! :rolleyes:

Best of luck with your new love and don't give up.

Thanks for the encouragement! We are 8 mths into the relationship and everythng is so far great! As far as being brave, lol! Crazy is more like it! We get stares every place we go, we have learned to laugh with it! My daughter wanted me to go out with her this weekend, she asked me could I get a sitter for Oscar! She is SUCH a smarty-pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! His parents are coming in two weeks!!!!!!! yikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :eek:

just happens that way =) I look younger than I really am, and that is why I seem to attract the younger crowd

Buuuut, since my last three relationships were with men who were all a couple of years younger than the lower limit I had set for myself, I wouldn't be surprised if I were to cross that line again.

Ha, Patricia...I know what you mean. I SWORE I wouldn't date anyone under 30 ever again after my ym and I broke up in 03....Ya, like that lasted. J is 27...25 when we met....I kinda "compromised" on that one :D .

Wish I knew what was going on with me I never had a tought about seeing a younger man in fact I was always interested in older men. I had a younger man put the moves on me and from that point on I was a mess.

I am 61 and he is 38 so what is the deal?

Nope. Attracted to older men, generally. Still am, kinda.

Just a big joke on me that this happened :p

But a good joke. ;)