Am I Crazy??

IM 20 HES 38...AM I CRAZY FOR BEING WITH HIM???

Heres my story...we started working together and it was just instant attraction. At the time he was married only for a less than a year(i know..i know but from what everyone was telling me their relationship sucked and he was making comments that lead me to believe that it sucked) anyway we started "dating" and everything was great. Well, his divorce finally went through this month and my problem is they are still talking to each other like it aint nothing!!! They have to kids together, no house, nothing that ties them together. He keeps it kind of a secret but the only way I know they are still talking to each other is because I was looking for a phone # in his phone and saw several times that she was calling him. Why do they still need to talk??? My question is this...should I confront him and ask why they are still talking or should I just keep my mouth shut and just let him deal with the divorce???? :confused:

IM 20 HES 38...AM I CRAZY FOR BEING WITH HIM???

Heres my story...we started working together and it was just instant attraction. At the time he was married only for a less than a year(i know..i know but from what everyone was telling me their relationship sucked and he was making comments that lead me to believe that it sucked) anyway we started "dating" and everything was great. Well, his divorce finally went through this month and my problem is they are still talking to each other like it aint nothing!!! They have to kids together, no house, nothing that ties them together. He keeps it kind of a secret but the only way I know they are still talking to each other is because I was looking for a phone # in his phone and saw several times that she was calling him. Why do they still need to talk??? My question is this...should I confront him and ask why they are still talking or should I just keep my mouth shut and just let him deal with the divorce???? :confused:
Hmmm...you have found yourself in quite a mess. He still has feelings for his ex, and (strange as it may seem) they get along better now that they are divorced. However, this can't be tolerated. He needs to know she is in the past, you are in the present, and if this keeps up he will be alone in the near future.

IM 20 HES 38...AM I CRAZY FOR BEING WITH HIM???

Heres my story...we started working together and it was just instant attraction. At the time he was married only for a less than a year(i know..i know but from what everyone was telling me their relationship sucked and he was making comments that lead me to believe that it sucked) anyway we started "dating" and everything was great. Well, his divorce finally went through this month and my problem is they are still talking to each other like it aint nothing!!! They have to kids together, no house, nothing that ties them together. He keeps it kind of a secret but the only way I know they are still talking to each other is because I was looking for a phone # in his phone and saw several times that she was calling him. Why do they still need to talk??? My question is this...should I confront him and ask why they are still talking or should I just keep my mouth shut and just let him deal with the divorce???? :confused:

Tough call... I think the two missing pieces of information are:

How much do you know about each other in general... if you know everything he's doing except where his ex is concerned, problem... if you are only concerned about the ex issue, different problem. Divorce does take some time to sort through.

Which leads to the second - how long has it been? He might be entitled to a little time to sort things out... and there's a part two with this. Why is he keeping his contact with her a secret from you? The tempting conclusion is that he's hiding something, but it could also be that he thinks you are over-reacting?

I think there's a "C" answer. Ask him how he's doing and how things are going with the divorce, the ex, etc. (It'll be important to make it clear that it's not an investigation; you are genuineling interested and concerned for him.)

Maybe it's that comfort thing. They haven't totally let go yet, that much is obvious. If I were you, I steer clear of this one. He's too much of an emotional risk for you. If you confront him about it, he'll prob. give you some line about them still being friends. Be careful

Thanks For The Advice Yall!! I Keep Everything In Mind

Me and my ex still talk quite a bit, have even cuddled up on the couch. (my ex is gay so I guess that might make a difference here)
But even if he wasn't we got married because we were in love at one time and good friends. Just because you divorce someone doesn't mean that there isn't anything left, it just means that you at one time or another made each other misserable and couldn't fix things.
My fiance is totally cool with me and my ex still being friends. He says there is no doubt in his mind that I will always love my ex husband. But that I'm with him now, and I love him now and the love I have for him is very different.
And he is the younger one hehehe. It really all boils down to TRUST. I could never stay with anyone I couldn't trust completely.
For some people it's really hard thing to do. But in the end if you can't give over your whole being and trust someone how can you expect them to trust you in return??

No..you're not crazy..trust your perception and believe in yourself...no one else counts. :)

It just kind of erks me sometimes because he doesn't talk to me about it. He just acts like nothing is going on!! I know that he will always love her and always care for her because hes told me. I just don't like secrets!! If I already know that hes always gonna have something for her then why keep it a secret!??? :confused: