peaches41

im curious whats make a younger man want a older women

im curious whats make a younger man want a older women


I don't actually understand this poll. Maybe it's just me (I am from the UK).. but I can't see it.

Dusky

Most have told me that it's the OW's inner beauty grown through maturity and confidence. Hey, I also read in a poll of men of all ages that they think "confidence" is the sexiest attribute in woman (not youth, flat bellies, wrinkle-free skin , etc.)

The poll ended by listing Sophia Loren (in her 70's) as the "winner" of the most sexiest woman award by men 18-80....and, fyi, my exym (and his brother) agreed with that result...they were 21 and 24 at the time.

I don't quite get the poll either . . .they seem to be questions instead of things to vote on.

Peaches, from what I can tell from one of your previous posts, your husband is 20 years younger than you. Have you asked him what attracted him to you? I expect for every guy there may be different reasons.

Is it wrong to fall for someone 20 years younger? No, it's not wrong . . . if it is a lot of us here on this site are really in trouble! :eek: Would you be asking this question if the man were 40 and the women 20? I think not.

Age is only a number depicting how much time a person has spent on this earth. That's all. It's not a measure of maturity, character, integrity or anything else.

When it comes to love, the heart has a way of its own and sometimes that cannot be controlled by the mind. You can choose not to act on the whims of the heart, but you cannot control the pull.

And since we only go around once, if a 40 year old woman falls in love with a 20 year old man who falls in love back with her, why would they not bask in each other's love for all it's worth and as long as it lasts. There are some who never find love, so I think you have to enjoy it when you find it.

You said in another thread that you worry about when he leaves the house will he return. Would you feel that way with a man who is your age? If a man is inclined to love you and leave you, it doesn't have anything to do with his age. It has everything to do with his character and integrity.

Enjoy every moment with your love and don't waste any of those moments worrying about what could be.

I dislike being reduced to a demographic. We didn't fall in love because there was some draw towards older or younger. We're just two people who had an immediated strong connection, became good friends and took it from there. Neither of us was sitting around thinking mmmm...older! or mmmm... younger! Yech.

Reducing us to an (unfortunate) demographic was what unhappy friends and relatives did when our relationship was first starting out.

I liked him....he liked me :)

Let me just say to you all Im new at this, so forgive my mistakes. I just needed to talk, my poll, I had no idea what I was doing Im taking computer classes, so sorry Im learning as I go, just like my marriage I truly believe love has no limits, loving is loving, no matter who that person might be 18-100 Im just glad there are people out there who understands!

Believe me, we all understand :D

Usually when a poll is done, you list things for people to vote on, like, for example, you would say: "What is the youngest guy you would consider dating?" And then put answers for everyone to vote on, like maybe: "18-20, 21-25, 26-30, 31-40, over 40" In the poll there is no way to answer specific questions, only to vote.

Just keep plugging here, and we'll help you along. When I started coming here, I didn't know anything about anything! :)

What's the major problem in any relationship is : " Is he/she really love us ? or he/she have a hidden agenda ?"

The key is comunication, and try to open your mind and also your sense, you will understand what he/she want from us.

About the question, is the younger men just want sex from older women. i kind of disagree with the poll, logicly what they want from OW is Love and Compation, like they have felt from their parent.

In Phsylocological science, there are some study about this situation. And the result as we knew that YM was trying to find a women like their mom. Thats the fact


Thanks

I am a 30 yr old guy and I admire older women.... for me i like older women because.. they r confident, they know what they want....and its true... they are "out of this world" in bed and they are better friends than yw.... they are more understanding than yw...

All these things make the ow "the girl you always dream about"

cheers

In Phsylocological science, there are some study about this situation. And the result as we knew that YM was trying to find a women like their mom. Thats the fact


I'm sorry, but I have to disagree wholeheartedly with that "fact." I am far from anything like Joe's mom. She is a lovely person and I like her a lot, but we are nothing alike! :)

i am nothing like my husbands mom age wise, he is 26, i am 46 and she is 63.

i will say she is a free thinker and does think outside the box, she is kind and open minded and i am not sure i would have been as accepting if the shoe was on the other foot and my daughter brought home a 46 year old man. she is however a NON STOP TALKER, she is a bit over the top when it comes to yapping, i am very conservative and quiet. she is however a laydown when it comes to standing up for herself, i am much more opionated and rightous in what i believe in.

i will admitt that my husband was attracted to my stability and i see this even today, he likes that he trusts me, the first few years he thought every other guy was after me, that was probably because we are seperated by the military and he really does think i am beautiful.

he was biting at the bit to get married and i also knew it was his way of having security, secure that he had me to himself. i notice that he enjoys doing things together, he loves our privacy and the little aspects of life, going to church, shopping, traveling, sightseeing, cooking and eating in, going to the movies, we do tend to get lost in our own little world.

we just click, i dont think its because i remind him of his mom, in fact i think i am more of an opposite.

Mother figure? Nooooooo......

I'm his lover - his does things to me he would never do to his momma....jajajaja! :D

I'm more worried I'm turning into my own mother, but that's a whole nother thread :(

His momma is Italian, 60, into home cooking and taking care of her family (including spoiling her son rotten if he would let her). I don't cook - he does. Don't spoil him AT ALL. He would absolutely HATE it if I mothered him {{{SHUDDERS AT THOUGHT}}}

Oh, don't worry about the ignorant people who think we're "mother" figures. Our men already have mothers. (And I don't think too many men would have moms only 13 years older than them...) 'sides which, I'm not a mom, and have no wish to be.

The clueless are everywhere, ignore 'em. Some people's very limited imagination can only think of women being in a few labeled roles (you can guess which roles those are), that's their problem and not ours.

:rolleyes:

...but honestly, I would die if anyone mentioned oedipus complexes or mothering or mother figures......
blech!! :mad:

I am a 30 yr old guy and I admire older women.... for me i like older women because.. they r confident, they know what they want....and its true... they are "out of this world" in bed and they are better friends than yw.... they are more understanding than yw...

All these things make the ow "the girl you always dream about"

cheers

You are absolutely right! We are....all that plus a bag of chips...(crisps in UK) :D

Excuse me everyone, i am sorry if what i've said wasn't fit with everyone here. The one which i mentioned as Mother Figure, is about your love / compation. Older woman, more understanding, can act wiser, not like the younger one, thats what i thought, sorry if it still controvercial...(laugh)


May Peace Be upon You

Hey, ladies....re-read Adly's original post. Not only does he seem to have a language challenge, being from Indonesia and all, but Adly never used the
dreaded phrase "mother figure". The observation was that men are looking for women like their mom.

I think this is true for men of all ages, actually, especially if they have had loving mothers with great qualities. It's not like they are trying to replace their moms with us, or have some perverted mom-fixation. I think it is pretty standard in most psychological thought that we look for qualities in a mate that we love in our opposite-sex parent. I know I look for industriousness, compassion, stability, a sense of humor, etc. in men I date (standout qualities my dad has).

One of the sweetest things I ever heard my 19 year old son say to me was that he really liked this new girl he was dating a lot...that she had so many qualities he admired...and then added, "...actually, she reminds me of you, Mom." :) He didn't elaborate, but I'm absolutely certain that he didn't mean in some weird, distorted way.

Just food for thought...

Ok Karen - but if this were a thread about men with younger women, do you think -anyone- would bring up that these men want someone like their mom?

And why the wouldn't the converse be true...that our YM are like our dads?

Yes, there's literature that says many people want mates like their parent, it would seem a sort of oedipal substitution - but I wouldn't at all say that's universal.

For our part, there is very little overlap between me and Jason's mom (we both have a different fiber-crafting hobby, and there the similarity ends), and besides the fact that he's a learning machine and computer genius, Jason is *nothing* like my dad. I wouldn't go near a man like my dad in a million years. He SUCKED at relationships.

*shrug*

And Adly -

I'm sorry, I know English isn't your first language. Just please understand that people assume certain things about us a lot, things that aren't true. What you said sounded like that. If you didn't mean that, then...sorry. Please feel free to keep posting.

I would say, thank you soo much to understand my problem (about Language) and i am sure i'll post a lot for the next time, if you had something about what i've already posted, please ask me, before and after....apologize me !!!

Thanks

My wonderful YM told me the other day that what was attractive about me being older was the fact that I was no longer looking for a dad...... :o.

Could part of their attraction for us be we are not looking to raise a family and are more stable and financially secure than younger women?