EvEsWorld
03-27-2006, 11:08 PM
Hello all, I am 26 and here's my story about my 55om
Upon meetingmy older man, there was an immediate attraction. Since he was recently separated and I had recently ended a 4 year relationship, we decided that we would simply date and enjoy each others company rather than pursue a long term significant relationship. The playful dating didn't last long and before long we were spending every minute with other gorwing in love and every minute without each other pining for the other.
After having been together for about 3 months, unforseen circumstances made the choice to move in together not only irresistable, but practical as well. So, into my house we moved and began our life together. We've laughed and loved and grown to love each other more than either of us realized was possible. A year and a half later I said "yes" when he put my beautiful ring on my finger. We are 90% perfect together in my opinion.... EXCEPT....
He has 2 other women in his life. The first is his almost-ex-wife. She and I are friends, or at least on very pleasant speaking terms. He owns a couple of businesses with her and a house and yadda yadda yadda, the other typical marriage entanglements. Though I understand the lack of motivation to officially divorce, i can't help but be bothered by the fact that he's procrastinating. I have a ring on my finger and he's asked me to marry him though we have not discussed when. (not that we can at this point).
The second female in his life is the one that is driving me nuts. She is a 20 year old, dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks gold digger with a heart. I can't think of a better way to describe her so I hope you get the point. They dated for about 2 months prior to my appearance in the picture. She started working for him immediately after he and I started dating and is still there. She is terrible at her job and causes nothing but trouble in our life and at work, but he keeps her around because he cares about her and because in his words, "She is my special friend who is like a daughter to me".
Well, you and I know better than that. Over this last year, he has lied to me about her and has sneaked off to see her while still maintaining that she was only a friend. I'm lucky I guess that even with the best liar, I can smell a rat so I caught him every time. We faught like cats and dogs about this girl for the entire time we've been together until finally the S**T hit the fan and I told him to chose. He chose to leave for a week to figure things out. During that week, he slept with her and went totally nuts telling everyone that she was his soul mate and they were going to marry. At the end of the week he came to me and cried and begged forgiveness. He confessed everthing he'd ever done. He swore that he would let her go and he would stop lying to me. He said that he was wrong to ever leave me for her and that he only left because he was confused about where she fit in his life and because I was controlling him by not allowing him to have her as a friend.
I generally don't let people get away with what I have forgiven him for, but since I had commited a similar crime earlier in our relationship and becuase I want this relationship to work, I found it in my heart to forgive him and try again.
It has been 3 months since that little incident and 3 weeks since he asked me to marry him and bought me a ring. In 3 months our relationship has gone to another level with communication, love, and commitment. Things are better between us and worse at the same time. He has not honored his commitment to get her out of the picture. I do see that their relationship has changed to an innocent relationship, but I can not deal with her being a part of our life anymore. He wants for me and her to be friends so that she can dive and fish with us this summer. I am discusted and offended by this desire. I have explained my feelings several times, but we always end up fighting and we stand at odds with each other. I refuse to have her as part of my life or his life and he refuses to give her up.
I have spent a lot of time explaining the bad about our relationship and have not expressed how compatible in every way (but this) we are. Nor have I told you what a precious love he and I share. He truly loves me and is good to me and we don';t fight about anything else. So all is not bad.
Our relationship will end over this girl very soon. We are both frustrated and neither of us will give in on this issue. I really don't want this to happen, but I don't see a way around this issue. Any advice you all can give is welcome and appreciated.
Upon meetingmy older man, there was an immediate attraction. Since he was recently separated and I had recently ended a 4 year relationship, we decided that we would simply date and enjoy each others company rather than pursue a long term significant relationship. The playful dating didn't last long and before long we were spending every minute with other gorwing in love and every minute without each other pining for the other.
After having been together for about 3 months, unforseen circumstances made the choice to move in together not only irresistable, but practical as well. So, into my house we moved and began our life together. We've laughed and loved and grown to love each other more than either of us realized was possible. A year and a half later I said "yes" when he put my beautiful ring on my finger. We are 90% perfect together in my opinion.... EXCEPT....
He has 2 other women in his life. The first is his almost-ex-wife. She and I are friends, or at least on very pleasant speaking terms. He owns a couple of businesses with her and a house and yadda yadda yadda, the other typical marriage entanglements. Though I understand the lack of motivation to officially divorce, i can't help but be bothered by the fact that he's procrastinating. I have a ring on my finger and he's asked me to marry him though we have not discussed when. (not that we can at this point).
The second female in his life is the one that is driving me nuts. She is a 20 year old, dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks gold digger with a heart. I can't think of a better way to describe her so I hope you get the point. They dated for about 2 months prior to my appearance in the picture. She started working for him immediately after he and I started dating and is still there. She is terrible at her job and causes nothing but trouble in our life and at work, but he keeps her around because he cares about her and because in his words, "She is my special friend who is like a daughter to me".
Well, you and I know better than that. Over this last year, he has lied to me about her and has sneaked off to see her while still maintaining that she was only a friend. I'm lucky I guess that even with the best liar, I can smell a rat so I caught him every time. We faught like cats and dogs about this girl for the entire time we've been together until finally the S**T hit the fan and I told him to chose. He chose to leave for a week to figure things out. During that week, he slept with her and went totally nuts telling everyone that she was his soul mate and they were going to marry. At the end of the week he came to me and cried and begged forgiveness. He confessed everthing he'd ever done. He swore that he would let her go and he would stop lying to me. He said that he was wrong to ever leave me for her and that he only left because he was confused about where she fit in his life and because I was controlling him by not allowing him to have her as a friend.
I generally don't let people get away with what I have forgiven him for, but since I had commited a similar crime earlier in our relationship and becuase I want this relationship to work, I found it in my heart to forgive him and try again.
It has been 3 months since that little incident and 3 weeks since he asked me to marry him and bought me a ring. In 3 months our relationship has gone to another level with communication, love, and commitment. Things are better between us and worse at the same time. He has not honored his commitment to get her out of the picture. I do see that their relationship has changed to an innocent relationship, but I can not deal with her being a part of our life anymore. He wants for me and her to be friends so that she can dive and fish with us this summer. I am discusted and offended by this desire. I have explained my feelings several times, but we always end up fighting and we stand at odds with each other. I refuse to have her as part of my life or his life and he refuses to give her up.
I have spent a lot of time explaining the bad about our relationship and have not expressed how compatible in every way (but this) we are. Nor have I told you what a precious love he and I share. He truly loves me and is good to me and we don';t fight about anything else. So all is not bad.
Our relationship will end over this girl very soon. We are both frustrated and neither of us will give in on this issue. I really don't want this to happen, but I don't see a way around this issue. Any advice you all can give is welcome and appreciated.