More about me...especially for xited1

xited1 wondered if I'm here to give advice or find support.

In my case, both!

First, let me tell you a little more about myself. I'm American, but I've been teaching English in Korea (off and on, but mostly on) for the past 10 years. I got married when I was 21 (SILLY ME!! :eek: ) and divorced 11 years later. Raised my 2 boys mostly alone, and when I was 42, I completely changed my life by coming to Korea.

I've had one very intense, very loving relationship with a guy who was younger than me by 23 years, (he was my student :o!! We're still great friends!), and many "casual" relationships with guys around the same age (NOT my students!!)

Now, I'm in a new relationship with a guy who is from Sri Lanka and is also 23 years younger than I am.

So...I've been in a OW/YM relationship AND I'm in one now...

xited1: You took exception to my use of "not quite right" in regards to an OW/YM relationship. I didn't mean this morally, but socially. Society has always judged OM/YW relationships to be "ok", but OW/YM relationships to be "not ok". From the sound of hotguy41's post, it sounds like his OW is having problems with this. I wasn't saying that EVERY woman has an issue with it, but most of us DO think about what "other people" will say about us....

Yes, I took exception to that term only because the use of it implies that since it’s “not quite right”…..it must be wrong, as if they are disabled and/or can’t function from the start with no chance of being right. And your use of that term signified to me that you had that viewpoint also. We (older women) may stress about the age gaps and the issues that come with these types of relationships, but I don’t believe there is something wrong with them. I understand and have experienced the societal views of age gap relationships, as I have been involved in more than one, and my husband is17 years younger than me. Perhaps “challenged” would be a better term, as they are that, and what we (society) most strive to do is to face our challenges and overcome them.

No personal affront intended. I welcome your experience and insights, as we all can learn from each other and support each other in these very "challenging" relationships. :)