Prayers please?

Hey all...

I've been making myself scarce lately, if for no reaosn just personal issues....

Last week I had a wonderful time out in St. Louis with the love of my life...and it was the best five days I've spent in months...

I do need some prayers, though. For the past month or so, my mother has been trouble walking. We weren't sure what the problem was. She went to the doctors a few times...and he would prescribe pills to see if they would help...

Nothing helped...so he scheduled an MRI for her. She had that MRI on Thursday of last week. Friday the doctor's office called and wanted her and my father to come in this past Monday, because the MRI was abnormal. So they went and he wanted them to see a neurologist. They went to the neurologist today...

My dad just called me and he told me they diagnosed her with something called Primary Porgressive MS. He said they can't fix her or cure her. I'll talk to him more later tonight...

I was talking to him and I asked him if he was alright and he started crying. And...he hardly ever cries. He's so use to being able to fix things for my mother...whether it's something around the house or her being sick/injured. He feels helpless, I can tell. That and seeing the woman you love so dearly and have been with for damn near 30 years...just kills him like that...

Just need a small prayer...
Doesn't have to be a big one...
Just a small one would help please.

I'm sorry to hear about your Mom, Dan. I urge you to convince her to see an EXPERT in multiple sclerosis for treatment. It is a complex disease that requires balancing multiple medications, so the right doctor can make the difference between a wheelchair and a cane. If possible, finding a doctor that is a researcher and a clinician is the ideal. A teaching hospital with research facilities is a good place to make inquiries.

It might help your Dad and Mom to join a Multiple Sclerosis Support Group. The diagnosis can be terrifying so it's important for them to meet other people with MS to see that the effects differ from person to person, get support, and learn from people that are dealing with the effects of the disease on themselves and their loved ones.

Good luck to you, your Dad, and your Mom, Dan. I'm sending all my good thoughts and best wishes.

Rough deal Dan-O!! Hang in there!!

Lord, Jesus Christ, Divine Healer,
grant her peace of mind
and perfect trust in You
in her time of distress.
Give her control over her fears.
Grant that she may be cooperative
and patient with Your Will,
trusting that You will restore her to full health.

Amen

thinking of your family during this time. (((HUG))) for you.

my thoughts and prayers...

prayers.....done.

prayers sweetie...and ((hugs)) Im sorry.

On our way to church right now -- I will be sure to add your family to our prayer list, {{{ Dan }}}

I'm so sorry, Dan. You are in my prayers.

sometimes the scariest thing is not knowing, have faith that she is going to be around for a long time and its going to be ok. bless you and your dad and your mom. i also was TRYING to get to church tonight but got stuck babysitting.

my grandson is one year old and was born without a fibula (shin bone) the human spirit adapts, we would not change him for the world or one hair on his head, it has been a JOY to love him. i woke up to the fact that i have been truly blessed with extraordinary people and how precious love is, you are all so blessed to have each other. take care.

I feel for you and your family. Prayers are airborn.

Thoughts and prayers for your mom and dad, Dan. That's heartbreaking.

Dan as a matter of fact I have 2 g/fs w/ ms and they both have totally different attitude toward their illness, one is super positive and out going, the other one is down on herself. Guess who is doing better? Please be positive and cheer on you mom and believe in GOD...

May his blessings be with your mom, dad, you, and the rest of your family!

Praying for you'all...

And please do not forget to SMILE even in these hard times! :)

....Just need a small prayer...
Doesn't have to be a big one...
Just a small one would help please.

You got it, Dan!!

Sorry for the bad news, and I do wish the best for your mom --- best doctors, best treatment, etc.

Hopefully those things will help make her life easier as time passes.

Prayers and thoughts to your way.
Be strong.

((( Hugs )))

*soft smiles*

Thank you all for the prayers...they really mean alot to me right now! *hugs*

We kind of had a scare last night, when my mother fainted. I think it was just an overload that did that...emotional overload.

But thank you for the prayers, as I said. They really mean alot to me. It's gonna just take one day at a time....and once we get over the initial shock, and anger...I know things will get better. We are all just emotionaly exhausted right now...and I'm having trouble finding works and that. But please, just know that I really appreciate this SO greatly...

*hugs to you all, my friends...*

~Dan

Hi Dan,

Sorry to read the bad news about your mom. I'll hold good thoughts for you and your family.

You come from that sturdy Western PA stock, and once all the intial shock, etc. is over, your parents will find a way to deal with your mom's health issues. They've been married for a really long time, so they have a deep foundation of love.

Glad you could spend five days with your honey :) You're lucky to have her, man.

Best,
Bub

Dan,

Sending you good thoughts and support in this difficult time. Things have a way of working out, and I hope you will be okay and things will workout okay. My brother has MS, and was diagnosed about 10 years ago, and seems to have adjusted well. I worry about him and love him so much. It has affected him a lot, he has a good wife and family, and God to carry him along.

Donna

So sorry to hear about this Dan, more prayers going out for both you and your mom. :( {{{hugs}}}

Prayers going up Dan. Hang in there and be positive. May god bless you.
__________________
When Was Your Last Test? (http://www.mensarticles.com/women/940-medicalccheck-ups.html)

I don't know what to say. I'm a bit jaded on this subject, having gone through Relapsing-remitting, secondary progressive MS with my ex. I don't believe in the prayer thing, but my thoughts are with you. You and especially your dad have a difficult time ahead. Getting primary progressive at her age is not a good prognosis. But this disease is not the same for any two people - no matter the progression.

I wish the best for you and hope that she does not have to deal with pain. My ex was blessed to not have any painful symptoms. But he is 43 and in a nursing home. But it was too hard for myself and 2 kids to home care a 200 lb man. And he was the primary income earner and we lost his insurance when he lost his job. You men should have an easier time of it, though. And it is rarely a fatal disease, but it is dibilitating and very frustrating - especially for the person who is afflicted. They feel so helpless - especially if they are used to taking care of others.

Treatments are very hit and miss and nothing is a cure. My ex had to stop taking the most effective medicine we found because it started destroying his kidneys.

I know this post isn't very upbeat, but you know what? Everyone was so rosy and hopeful when my ex was diagnosed and looking back, I just wish someone would have given it to me straight. Having shit hit me out of the blue unprepared didn't help me any. And the MS Society puts a Pollyannish spin on everything. I thought they were a joke.

I won't lie to you. It's gonna suck. And she's going to be crabby and impossible to please sometimes. And your dad could feel like a nobody, because all of the attention ends up going to the sick spouse. Don't let him get lost in the shuffle. And let your mom vent when she needs to. You may feel neglected as well. Don't feel guilty about that! Just because she is sick doesn't make you any less human and have no needs. Let your mom do things she can do, because she will want to. Don't make her feel useless in an attempt to be "helpful."

Even though no one has died, it feels like an incredible loss. Hopefully, you'll all get through this with love and support for each other. Because, at the end of the day, family is all you have and those who live the day to day reality are the only ones who really know what you are going through.

there is a saying out there that goes like this.

i cryed because i had no shoes until i met the man who had no feet.

there are always those who have it worse than us no matter how dark the day, its our decision to help or lift them threw the hard times, try to think of the blessings that already exist.

i wish i had the parents dan has, i didnt, how lovely there is so much love in that family, i believe they will pull thru, they are already an inspiration of what love is.

prayers sent...i hope she recovers very soon.

Aww Dan, I know how much your parents mean to you.

Best thoughts and prayers for strength for all of you.

Prayers going out to your family Dan.

I don't post much but your post hit home.

My brother-in-law has MS...exact diagnosis not sure. BUT, he has had it for 26 or 27 years. He is still walking (with a cane) and enjoying his grandson to the high hilt.

He also has approached his illness with a positive attitude and I truly believe that
has made all the difference in the world. Somedays he can't feel his feet to know where he is walking and my sister has to check water temp before bathing because he can't feel it but if you ask him "how are you doing" he always has a smile and a positive answer.

Hopefully your strong family connection will help you all at this time.

If you want to chat or know something you can pm me. It doesn't all have to be gloom and doom...believe me. I see it everyday in my family.

Dan, I'm not trying to be "all gloom and doom" but unlike some others, I actually know what "primary progressive" means for MS. I've been there - if you want realistic support, pm me any time.

And some are right, a positive approach can make a difference and family sticking together is extremely important. It sucks to think that anyone else has to go through this and I only have the best wishes for you and your family.

Well, Kristin

I am sure that this is posted for me...So I will tell you that everyone doesn't know everything like you do....and also everyone doesn't desert someone when they have a disease and need taken care of like some do....

I am sure this will be deleted because it is mean. But it is meant to be because I really saw your post as mean. Realistic doesn't have to be so hard.

And since I have been looking for a good reason to leave, your attitude just gave me that reason....

Hope you continue to know everything it must feel great.

oh hi cinderella... gee, i hope you DONT leave and i have enjoyed your posts. i dont think you are mean and think kristen sounds really hurt by her experience. her post was a severe but until you walk in someones shoes sometimes its hard to see their point. i didnt get her post either but i did see alot of pain. i felt the weight she carried from her experience, she was in her way trying to be helpful but had lived thru something that really effected her.

everyone has a choice in how they deal with illness, it is part of life, no one escapes it, the worst part for me was being scared and trying to find my faith, i got lost, or at least felt i got lost along the way. i am ok today, THANK YOU GOD and i have a new appreciation for so many things.

we have choices and as easy as that sound it isnt. having a positive attitude when the crap is hitting the fan is near impossible but we have to hang on and keep reaching for it, what is the other choice to give up and get cynical or believe that God just does not care? there have been times i felt i was being swallowed up but every time i have made it thru and i have grown from the experience, thats my walk in faith, attempting to get out of my understanding and leaning on a higher power. i screw up alot and question my faith alot but somehow i always get back to my God relationship. maybe there is truth to the statement that "Christians are not perfect we are just saved".

so i hope you dont leave and stick around, i notice the mean spirited posts also, i dont think Kristen was mean but sad and hurt, i thought about leaving also but you gotta take a second and realize that you are not the reason people react the way they do, everyone has their own agenda and some are more closed minded than others, so anyway take care and since we are sending prayers in this post, Godbless you both also.

Hang in their dan..... I send prayers to you and your family...

My Aunt suffers from MS if you ever need me Im me or PM me you know how to reach me!!

Well, Kristin

I am sure that this is posted for me...So I will tell you that everyone doesn't know everything like you do....and also everyone doesn't desert someone when they have a disease and need taken care of like some do....

I am sure this will be deleted because it is mean. But it is meant to be because I really saw your post as mean. Realistic doesn't have to be so hard.

And since I have been looking for a good reason to leave, your attitude just gave me that reason....

Hope you continue to know everything it must feel great.
Actually, it wasn't direct at you personally, it was meant in general because I know my first post came off as negative, based on SEVERAL posts following mine. I only used the same "gloom and doom" phrase you did because that statement was seemingly directed at my post and seemed to echo other posts, so I don't know where you get off being so upset because I responded as to WHY I was saying what I was saying. You felt compelled to criticize my post by calling it "gloom amd doom" and I responded with why I said what I did.

And I didn't desert my ex. How dare you? Know what the heck you are talking about before saying something like that. Get off your high horse lady.

The hard reality is that 80% of MS sufferers end up divorced. I went through 13 years of living with a chronically ill spouse. Taking care of him was one of the hardest things I had to deal with and I had person after person say "Oh, I know so and so and they are just fine." No one talks about the MS that Dan's mom and my ex had. Primary progressive is DIFFERENT and that is what I was saying by I knew more about it than the people posting here. Every description I read here was of remitting-relapsing.

I lost more than half my income and had to support my family and be a nurse because he lost his job. He was 100% dependent on me and my kids. My kids suffered because they had their youth taken away, because they had to stay home and help with Papa because mom had to work. We aren't trained caregivers yet we were feeding him and washing him and wiping the crap from between his legs when he soiled himself twice a day. Let alone when he got sick and had the runs. So you know what it's like changing soiled diapers on a 200lb man? You know what it's like being stuck at work when your kids call fighting and crying because their dad is swearing at them because of dementia? Waking us up at 3am to be fed lunch, not knowing the time? The smell of sickness sticking to your clothes and your kids being teased at school because their dad was different (they used more cruel names than that) and because their clothes smelled bad - no matter how much they were washed?

If you would have seen the tension and the fighting and the crying and pain in my kid's faces wash away once that burden was lifted and they knew that Papa was being taken care of properly in a good place, you wouldn't be so quick to say that I abandoned him. On the contrary, I am still very much a part of his life and his mother, father, family, my family and I have gone to great lengths so he doesn't even know that I have someone else in my life. As far as he is concerned, the divorce is just "on paper" because of finances. Trust me, it would have been a lot easier for me to walk away 10 years ago, but I know that it would have killed him. Today he feels loved and not abandonded - least of all by me.

The reality of living with primary progressive MS is not solved by prayer and happy thoughts. It takes a strong, close family with a lot of resolve, patience and understanding for ALL involved. It has nothing to do with being "close minded" (gimme a break) or being hurt or in a lot of pain. It's REALITY for a lot of people and it was my reality as well. The majority of MS sufferers have relapsing-remitting and while it is miserable, it is more like living with diabetes or arthritis. To be completely disabled is a whole different thing and until you've lived it,don't try telling me what I'm feeling or what you would have done. Monday morning quarterbacks can go fly a kite.

People who actually know me have often asked me how I did what I did for so long. Even my mother, who dealt with my chronically ill father for 40 years, said she couldn't have done what I did for so long. And I DID have a positive attitude while I was living it. I had to for my kids. People asked me all the time how I could be so positive, when they would be curled up in a ball under the kitchen table. I just said, "That's life. What else are you going to do? Life goes on and giving up isn't going to help."

But, after the fact, I can look at it with perspective and see what I wish I had known going into it. Because of this insideous disease, I lost my husband, I lost years with my kids, I lost my health insurance, I went through bankruptcy and I just lost my house to forclosure. Am I bitter? Hell yes I am, but I deal with it. For me, for my husband and for my kids. Am I sad and hurt? Of course I am. Do I have an "agenda" or am I close minded? Um, I have no idea what the heck that even means here.

I wasn't trying to be mean to Dan. I was trying to spare him the same pain and disappointment that we went through. Lying to him doesn't help anyone. Sometimes realistic IS hard. It may help you people feel better with rainbows and puppy dogs and I'm glad you do. But after seeing what MS did to that very wonderful man and my family, god can kiss my butt.

So, my last post wasn't angry or hurt, but, yeah, this one is. Excuse me for being human.

Dan, I won't bother posting here anymore. Sorry this took this direction.

Kristin,

Your post made me cry, and posts never make me cry. Loss is a terrible thing and you've lost so much in life.

I honestly don't know what to say other than you never know what it's like to be in someone else's shoes. You did the best you could by your husband. It's all anyone can ask in this life.

We all have to do what we have to do. I wish you the best always.

Bub

Um, guys? I understand the pain here but do you think Dan really needs it right now? He just found out his mom is ill, can we at least let it sink in or whatever?

(((Dan)))

I haven't been around here to see your thread... even though we talk daily, I just wanted to give my support here to you and your parents. Your parents are both very sweet and kind people and are very lucky to have you for as son... as you are lucky to have them for parents. You have to take this a day at a time and if she gets the same diagnosis on the second opinion, you have to accept it for what it is... I know you will give your parents full support... Love you!

Dan,
Your mom will be in my thoughts.We're all here for each other,please keep us up to speed,on how she is doing.


Your friend,and Bro
The Shadow

Dan,

You and your family are in my prayers....be strong and positive.....you are a treasure among sons to your parents........

May God Bless you and may His angels embrace your mother.

love,
sora

My prayers are with you Dan. It may become difficult with this disease as Kristin as posted, but no matter how difficult, I really believe that with trust in the Lord, we can pass through our times of grief to solace and joy. All we have to do is believe. Although she is recently diagnosis, now is the time to be of "good cheer". It will help her mental state as it progresses and I truly believe that the more pressing fear for anyone who is about to go through the biggest test of their lives and/or their faith, is abandonment and being a burden on others. To put her mind at rest, give her the "good part" of yourself will help her mind to positiveness.

Yes there may be sacrifrice, hey, sacrifrice is not going to kill us, its actually very good for the soul. Illness when it hits each and every one of us, those around us will despair, but it will not kill them. We are human, illness and disease is our lot as humans, we will grieve, be disappointed, feel discourage and feel despair, but it is part of life's schooling. If someone really did not have trials, that would be a trial in itself, for trials can make us more godlike.

Paris

Prayers coming your way Dano. :)

Your Mom doesn't deserve that disease, no one does. But like a good book says, "when bad things happen to good people", life doesn't discriminate. It is what we do with Life's 'sentences' that defines us.

Your Mom is wonderful and I bet you will see it even more as she takes on this disease. You will probably also find strength that you did not know you had.

While acceptance is important, when we are 'Believers', we CAN reach for more. The word 'miracle' is in our vocabulary. For NOW, I will pray for a miracle.

IF that is not to be, then I will pray that your family is given strength and wisdom to deal with whatever comes your way. God bless you and your family, Dan.

Hugs & prayers,
Barbara

Once again, Thanks all for the prayers and well wishes and thoughts...they really do mean alot to me. *hugs* I come to this thread, in silence...and come here for solitude and happiness.

My mother is doing alright, right now. She gets on with a cane....and tries to move and remain active as much as possible. Sometimes when getting up off a couch or chair...she'll need an arm to pull her up. Or, it just takes her awhile. She tries to remain in good spirits...though today she did comment to me at breakfast, Why did it have to happen to me.

My dad, is a different story. As many of you know....my dad and I really close. Best friends...I think might be the more accurate description. Saturday him and I went to Target...had to buy a few things there. While we were walking back out to the car....the conversation turned to my mother. And that's when he broke down again. And, in turn....I broke down. For as close as my dad and I are...it's still an awkward time. How do you comfort your father, when you're the son. All I could do...is cry with him and try to put an arm around him.

He's scared. He feels helpless. The man who, in the past could fix anything. Whether it was her being sick or injured..or something around the house....can not fix this. He doesn't know what to do. And quite often, I can see his chin quiver in a personal agony that...I've never seen my dad go through. All I could say was, "You just have to try to be there for her. Be strong for her. If possible, don't cry in front of her. But rather...come to me and cry with me." And on Saturday for a few minutes, that's what we did. He said, "She doesn't deserve this." I said I know. There are....tons of bad mothers and wives and crack*****'s out there...they deserve this more than her.

He said that when she fainted that night, he thought by some wierd happening...that was it. He thought she had died right then and there, in his arms.

I fully expect that, if he can swing it and they could live off of it...he will retire soon. He's at that age....and, I know he would rather stay home and take care of her...than go to work and worry about her.

My dad is angry. Right pissed off...at the world...at God...at whoever. The initial stuff that the first doctor told them...that there was nothing that could be done, is not good enough for him. They are making a second appointment with someone...to get a second opinion. Sure, there is no cure and...this will ultimately not end well. But, something, he is sure...can be done. To improve her quality of life.

To be honest, I'm just as pissed off as my dad. And I'm just as scared. I imagine him and I have to resist the same things: a) Quitting our jobs and spending full time at home. b) Calling the house every hour to make sure she's okay.

When I was younger...I thought MS was just another annoyance in life. Just another something else that happened to other people and not me or something that I know. I didn't think it was a big deal...didn't think it would impact me in the least...and if it did? I was sure it was no big deal. Now, though? I see the impact first hand. And to be honest...I don't like it.

I told Melisa....on Friday I was driving to Best Buy. And it only takes maybe 5 minutes to get there. But, I had a little five minute chat with the man upstairs. Just asking me what direction my life is supposed to go in. Cause right now, I'm confused as all hell.

I just thank god that...my family is as tight as it is. Because, if we weren't? I don't think anyone would do well in this situation.

Sorry for the rambling....
But, thank you all, for your thoughts and prayers and well wishes. I will keep you posted as to how things go...providing I keep my sanity, which I never really had in the first place.

Love you all...

*hugs*

~Dan

It sounds like you are all lucky to have each other.

I don't have the words to tell you how much I sympathize with everything you and your family are going through, Dan. I can only hope that you feel this hug as big and as comforting as I mean it to be.

((((((((((((((((((((((DAN))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))

Dan I'm so sorry for what you are going through....more hugs for you and your dad ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))).

Kristin, my god, your post was terrifying. You've lived through my greatest fear. I really have to commend you on how you managed. I think that what you and his family have done is the most compassionate thing possible.

Dan, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

You Dad not only feels helpless in this sitution, he sounds scared. I am sure that being with someone for that length of time, his fear is that he will loose her.

You expressed fear along with the anger your Dad and you both feel. You just received the information and it has to be frightening. With time and more information on the disease, I hope you all can find some type of peace.

God be with you and your family.

Fae

Hey all,

Once again, thank you for all the prayers. *hugs* Juyst wanted to give a littlte update.

Since seeing the first doctor who gave the diagnosis, my dad was a little...peeved. Cause the guy didn't really do a satisfactory job in his opinion. Didn't spend much time with them...didn't want to do a single thing, really...not even looking into any meds that could improve her quality of life...

So, they were looking to get a second opinion. My dad's boss's wife works in some capacity at one of the big Pittsburgh hospitals. She has some pull there and last week...she evidently talked to the doctor's and was able to get my mother an appointment with the head of neurology and someone who specializes in MS evidently...it was supposed to be for today at 1 pm.

Both my parents were excited. They know that short of a miracle (IE The original doctor screwed the pooch on the original diagnosis)...the core diagnosis is the same...but however, perhaps some medication could be given to relieve pain...help mobility somewhat...etc...

On Friday, my mother and I had gone out to get her MRI stuff to take with her today...and we came home and there was a msg from the Doctor's office...they couldn't see them at 1...but could they move the appointment to 3 PM today. No problem...

Today I'm at work and my mother calls me. Doctor's office called again. Had to cancel the appointment...

Okay....

Couldn't see her until BLOODY AUGUST...
BLOODY AUGUST...

Needless to say my mother, my father and I are NOT happy. My dad immediately got on the horn with his boss' wife...to see if she can find out what the deal is. They were hoping to see someone before thier cruise in two weeks...but, I don't think that is going to happen now.

Oh, and to add onto all of this...the car that I drive (which is actually still in my mother's name)...is getting ready to die. So, I'm going out to talk to a dealer tonight...about a '02 PT Cruiser.

As if I didn't have enough to stress out about...*lol*

Anyhoo...just giving ya'll a little update. I appreciate all the things you've said and thought...it really means alot to me!

*hugs*

~Dan

Just an update....

We got some good news, today. Ever since the doctor cancelled the last appointment, it's been an up and down time. We had it rescheduled for Thursday, and then the *censored* decides to take a vacation day that day and cancels the appointment again last night.

We were, to say the least...livid.

Last night the doctor's office called, and they were able to fit my mother in with a different doctor, so they went today...

I just got a call from my dad.

The doctor says, that he does NOT think it's MS or a stroke! Which is the good news! Evidently the first doctor is a, well, you don't want to know what I think of him. But it's not MS or a stroke, he figures...

He's not such what it is, however. My parents are going on a cruise at the end of this week, for a week. When they get back, the doctor is ordering that an additional battery of tests be done on my mother. Including two more MRI's and and something to do with electrical in the nerves.

It's a good thing my dad has good intuition. I mean, this is pretty much what we wanted to hear. We may not know entirely what is going on, but...we're 100 percent better now. The only question, is what it is.

But...we're all happy! Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers...they have done so much in a world of good!

*Hugs*

Thanks for the update, Dan. I'll be continuing to think of your mother and pray that this second opinion finds out definitively what is going on with her.

(((( hugs ))))

That's great news, Dan. I'm hoping for the best possible outcome for all of you!

REALLY great news Dan! Keep us posted.

i totally relate, when hit with hard reality, it takes everything to stop whirling....but attitude is everything and also taking the bull by the horns and unfortunately realizing that we are responsible for our own health. you really gotta probe and push doctors sometimes.

God bless all of you!

great news dan! :)