I am so broken

so sorry to dump this here. I know I have not posted a lot.

I had a tubal reversal in 2004. I had been pregnant 3 times since then , all miscarried.

I had an HSG done in January that suddenly showed my only functional tube as blocked.

I miraculously got a positive test today, but I am bleeding again and cramping and we don't even know if it is ectopic yet. Kaiser docs say watch the beta draws and see if they go down on their own.

And all I can think is:"This is his 4th baby I lost"

I feel like he should leave me for someone younger (I am 37) who can give him babies. I feel so worthless right now.

I found out about this baby today and I have to say goodbye today.

my heart is shattered and I don't even know if I care to try again...

hey gal, lookit....my mom had 3 miscarriages before she had my lil sis.

my sis is 20 years younger than me, i was 20 when she was born.

my mom was 40. she had been on birthcontrol pills for 20 years.

2 her body just absorbed and one she all out miscarried.

with my sis, she had to be emergency transported to Memphis (an hour away) once and the local hospital about 4 times.

she ended up having to have this 'thing' strapped to her leg that injected her so many times a day with med's to stop her from having contractions. this occured during the last 3 or so months of her pregnancy...while she was on bedrest.....to keep her from miscarrying again.

head up lady, do what you can to find out WHY this is happening, talk with your guy....do what you feel is best no matter what that course of action may be.

but there's always hope, even when it seems like there isn't. my mom was going to stop trying after 4. but the fourth one was the charm, even tho it was so VERY hard on her. i, for one, was scared to DEATH during all of it.

my best to you and good luck

Tracy

Im sorry for your pain, I was only 29 when I had my son, but it took us almost 2 yrs to get pregnant, and I miscarried 4 times 3 under 8 weeks, 1 at 11 weeks. So I feel your pain. I worry that when my fiance and I get married and try to start a family, which will be right away, I will be 36 when we get married he will be 26, that we will go through what I went through when I was younger it was painful for me and I dont want him to feel that pain as well.

Best wishes, and I hope you get your baby soon.

you are searching for the wrong answers as to why he loves you.

you are putting your pregnancy above the worth of your love.

you have tried so hard to give what others have given easily, you need to heal yourself first.

you are worthwhile to him as you are, stop thinking you need to bring more to the picture, all we have to give is our lives to eachother, there is no guarantee of children, wealth and prosperity, but you can give love. center on that.

you have given more than i ever gave, putting your body threw this, you are amazing and loving and beautiful! give yourself a chance to heal and learn from this that you are worth loving just as you are.

there are children all over the globe hungry and needing love, maybe if you can step outside of the notion of it being your child you can see the devastation all over the world, you may find a child that needs you desperately. you can be a mom but maybe there is something even more amazing than giving birth waiting for you. a child that will survive only if you love him or her. i hope and pray you find your way, Godbless.

Try to stay positive as much as you can. I know its hard. I had a miscarriage at 41 in October. My husband and I were very disappointed. I can't imagine going through it more than twice.

I am now in my 12 week of pregnancy and I can only hope that I have passed the scary zone and I am in the clear. My husband, who is only 23, said that it didn't matter either way. I had some bleeding in this pregnancy at 6-7 weeks but it stopped after a week. I now see it as a good sign.

Hang in there and i will be thinking positive thoughts for you.

Susie

I don't know what to say but I hope you'll get through this hard loss okay. Am so sorry this happened to you again.

I can't say I understand the depth of your pain, because I have not lost a child, however, god bless you hon. I know is must be horrible.

I'm sending lots of prayers your way...stay strong.