New here, hope to stay around

I am not currently in a relationship at all, but lately I've been looking more and more at older women. I'm a 21 year old male, never had much luck with women, and now I'm confused. I've dated mostly women my age or a few years younger, with little to no success. My thinking right now is that many women my age aren't really women at all, but girls too immature to handle a relationship. Because of this, more and more I'm looking at older women, especially late 20s, and well into 30s at well. There are some I'd actually like to date, but for some reason I'm too afraid they would have no interest simply because I'm so young. Many people are shocked I am 21; by looking at me they think I'm 18 because of my youthful looks.

Perhaps part of the reason is that I'm on the wrong side of the "generation gap". My interests in movies, music, and TV seem to be more in the 1970s and earlier period instead of the more present day. Many people my age think I'm very strange for this, but that's just how I am. An older woman would more likely bond with me here.

I've also followed the relationships of the older woman/younger man. I think it's great that people like Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore click so well. The same could have been said about past couples, like John Travolta and Diana Hyland. Though I never cared for Travolta, Hyland was just a talented beauty who died way, way too soon. Good people aren't supposed to die at 41, they just aren't. Anyway, I seriously wonder how common this age gap is, since I don't seem to see it much in my area, especially with an older woman. My parents are 9 years apart, but my dad is the older one.

Sorry for the rambling, but I'm just confused right now. I plan on sticking around here for a long time, hopefull to get some tips and hear some detailed experiences from some "age gappers".

-Keith

Hey Keith-
Just joined here, as well.
I've dated my share of younger guys, though not much much younger. But since i look so much younger than I am, I'll tell you honestly: when guys your age hit on me (I'm in my 30s) I seriously think, "are you kidding me?" My first assumption is that they have no idea how old I really am (which is many times true). When they say they don't care i usually laugh them off. But there is something to be said for the guy who keeps persuing, proving to me, what does age matter? Advice I plan on taking myself now that I've done a 180 and starting liking an older man. I give the same advice to you. You sound a bit shy and wondering if an older woman would even be interested. Think of your good qualities: youre mature, you know what you want and what you like, you're years ahead of the men you know.... many women in their late 20s and early 30s who are still single are thinking of settling down, but not all- some are happy with being single and still playing around. so don't make the assumption all the older women will be what you're looking for. Figure out what makes you happy, and just be casual and get out there meeting people until you find a match. good luck. 9sorry i ramble...) :)

I've always been shy. I've tried to open up more since my mid teens. You are right that I am more mature than most people my age. That's why I'm thinking an older woman might work out better for me. Of course, I'm not looking at just older women, but if one comes along, it won't bother me. Ever since I turned 21, I really relaxed my age range. Before I wouldn't date a woman over 27. Now, it's well into the 30s.

Keith.....

I am a 50-something female...although I've never had anyone guess my age correctly even within 10 years. Ten years???? You see.....as we mature, the age gap thing becomes even less and less important. It's just a challenge at MY age to find someone I think is hot and still have stuff in common to talk about. What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't be focused on any one age group....just find the one who makes you the big "H" and plus she makes you laugh. One of you should cook unless you BOTH prefer to eat out all the time. One of you needs to be good with money, and one of you needs to know how to make a pretty home. BOTH of you need to work. That's just me I guess, but I get resentful if the guy is asking me for money to buy clothes and transportation. I don't care if the guy is happy with a job in a dog kennel, McDonalds or if he's a doctor or lawyer.....just know what you wanna be and DO IT. OK, I'm going off in a different direction and I apologize for my scattered sense of North and South. Hopefully, SOME of what I've said makes some sense to you.

Love and light....

I have to be honest, my fiance is ten years younger than me, If I hadnt known him and known how mature he was I wouldnt have taken his advances seriously LOL... I mean I look alot younger than I am, but lets face it alot of women in their 30's even late 20's are wanting marriage and children, most guys in their early 20's are not even thinking that way, but their are some who are.

I already had a 3 yr old, he knew that, (and was a great friend when I split up with my ex, almost 2 yrs before we started dating) our families are close friends and I knew him when he was a kid. he was 22 when we started dating I was 32, I want more children and dont have many years left to do that. Lucky for me, he wanted to get married and start a family we are getting married next year, my son will be 6 and are we are starting a family right away.

The only big difference for us is that I have finished my college, have an established teaching career and have lived on my own since before he finished high school. He is finishing up his 2nd degree, and still lives at home. I have more responsibilities, and sometimes we disagree over spending money when we have a wedding to pay for etc.... but all in all we have had a smooth ride.

Be sure you are really ready to settle down into a relationship and possible marriage and children at an earlier age then maybe your friends would be, if you get seriously involved with a woman especially if she is marriage minded and wants children and is already in her 30's. Be ready for your parents and her family they may not be happy at first.

I know my inlaws said if I was any other 32 yr old woman dating their son they would have not been too happy, so there could be friction in some situations.

Best wishes, all in all age shouldnt matter, but sometimes it does become an issue at least briefly. Their can be some discomfort on both sides especially when merging social groups etc... and you both need be strong and have faith in your relationship