how to get out of age gap relationship??

I have been in relationship with a woman 10 year older than me. At the same time, she is from entirely different country. At the very early stage of relationship, I wanted to end the relationship. But for one reason or another, it never happened. At times, when I presented my decision to end relation, I had to encounter endless tears and sadness. She wears a gown of helplessness and becomes so sad that I cannot stand it, I go back to her and to comfort her, I tell her that I would stay with her. And then, it becomes That scene wouldn't end until I go back and ask for forgiveness and assure to continue relationship. One problem or another kept me going and supporting her, until now when I had to take decision to marry her to satisfy her and to fulfil her goals of life, because there was no way she could have achieved her desired goal in career if I don't marry her. But I am terribly confused. I haven't told my parents about my decision. I am 27, and I feel embarrassed to expose this relationship to my friends, and I am terribly afraid to tell anyone in my family. I tried to tell her about the problems I would encounter and my own dreams and wishes for a balanced relationship in my life. But she doesn't seem to listen and shut me up with intelligent arguments on psychology, unconditional love etc. And now, we are going to register for marriage just a week after. I really need some help before I get into endless turmoil.

Sorry to sound harsh, but you need to grow a pair. For your sake and hers.

Cruel to be kind, and all that.....in the long run, it'll be worth it.

You are allowing yourself to be manipulated. Is that what you want out of life? To be in a relationship where you aren't your authentic self? If you can't even reveal this relationship to your family, and you're contemplating marriage, you need some serious work in "assertiveness training."

You need to end this right now to be kind to her. Yes, it will be miserable for a while, but get on with your life, and let her do the same.

well, first of all you get out of an age gap relationship the same way you get out of any relationship

and manipulative people come in all ages relative to yours--so don't 'blame the age gap'--i don't think you did, but just don't

finally--RUN, don't WALK-away. this is passive agressive manipulative behavior. these people will suck you dry--and when you can't stand it any more YOU WILL BE THE BAD PERSON for leaving them. They are skilled at making people feel sorry for them. There is no way for you to get out without them making you look like the evil party--just do it SOON because the sooner you do, the less BAD you will be made to feel and look.

whose life are you living? yours or hers? are you kidding you would marry her only so you wouldn't have to deal with her being sad??? ok, i understand, i've been there, we all have. but you have to live your own life!!!! you know what, we can't avoid upsetting others in life. it is the hardest thing to stand up to someone but you have to do it. it's not your fault if she has a meltdown if you leave her...you have a responsibility to yourself first. i encourage you to learn this now so that it does not become a pattern of people pleasing and loosing youself.

Is this someone online or is she in person but from a different country. I don't understand.

Either way, come on, you've got to get a hold of yourself. You're a grown man...if she gets sad, you know what, that's her choice and she will be sad for awhile but eventually she will get over it and life goes on.

Don't do this to yourself or to her. YOU are not being fair to yourself or to her. She needs to grow up and know that everything can't be the way she wants it. If you haven't gotten a backbone by this age, get one...because there are plenty of men and women like this and you just have to say "NO", I will not be treated this way.

Change your phone number, email, IM, block her, whatever it takes and if you have to move. But don't drag this out, she doesn't deserve this and neither do you.

Paris

Morning Dew, if you are a person that enjoys and can learn from the words of others who have been there and done that, I suggest you read the lyrics of the following songs:

Don't Think Twice by Bob Dylan http://bobdylan.com/songs/dontthink.html
and
50 Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon http://www.lyricsfreak.com/p/paul-simon/105950.html

Best of luck to you!

To add my own to theirs, Run little man, she'll suck you dry of emotions and then spit the skin out.

It doesn't seem to me that you've been making your own decisions. Your friend is manipulating you. Pity is never a good foundation for a relationship. Grow some balls dear. Sorry to be so harsh but you sound MISERABLE. It will NOT get better!

Love & light ***************

Like I always say "grab the bull by the........... cojones" and run!!! jajaja better yet, get some cojones and grab the bull by the horns and run non-stop!

Good luck to you and don't let her tears get to you. Sometimes we women can be very good at crying! Many times they are for real but at times it is just a show! But no matter what her tears are, do not let it get to you...

Don't pity her and marry her otherwise I see a divorce at the end of the tunnel!

Sorry but this story sounds a bit fantastic to me. Are you telling me a 27 yr old man cannot get out of a relationship?
Either that or you love your role of protector of the helpless.

... I wanted to end the relationship. But for one reason or another, it never happened. At times, when I presented my decision to end relation, I had to encounter endless tears and sadness. She wears a gown of helplessness and becomes so sad that I cannot stand it, I go back to her and to comfort her, I tell her that I would stay with her. And then, it becomes That scene wouldn't end until I go back and ask for forgiveness and assure to continue relationship.

This is called "the strength of the weak", which comes in many forms. This particular form is controlling through helplessness and tears.

Morning dew,

This makes me sad. I want to tell you as others did to end it now and move on. That is what you should do.. you are setting both of you up for more heartache. That being said, I TOTALLY know how you feel and what you are going through with this.

I myself have been manipulated many times by sadness. The surest way to get me to do anything I don't want to do is to make me feel guilty and boom I do it. It's an awful way to live your life.

This year I decided that I need to learn to accept that I cannot fix everyone. I cannot make everyone happy. Although I try still. But there is a point when you have done your best and your best just isn't good enough and never will be good enough. We all deserve to be happy (me and you included) we have to learn to live our lives keeping that in mind.

We have to learn to balance the happiness of ourselves and those we love. You can't commit yourself to a miserable life in order to make her happy (which she probably never will be).

Think of it this way.. you are allowing her to invest more time, tears and emotions into your relationship by putting off the inevitable, isn't it kinder in the long run, to let her go now, mourn the loss of your relationship and move on with her life. Sure it's going to hurt and your gonna feel guilty as h*ll, but since you obviously know what you want and need it's time to stop the charade.

Interesting the op hasn't come back.....surely not a troll? Please no.... :(

I once dated a woman who had previously tried to commit suicide. I was therefore very worried when the relationship wasn't going well and thought it better that we should just be friends. But she didn't get my subtle hints and in the end was just sadder and angrier that i hadn't told her straight. So be a gentleman and tell her the nicest way possible but do tell her and don't leave her hanging on.

This is quite a novel thread as some of us want to start a relationship with an older woman and not end one!!