"No Pressure" Compliments?

Ladies, I would greatly appreciate some help on this issue.


Here is the situation. There is an older lady at my work that I think very highly of. She knows I am attracted to her, and I feel she is to me on some level. Unfortunately, because of our professional situation, my lack of time due to school, and her likely discomfort with the age gap, no relationship can happen now.


This being said, we are friends and I do care about her deeply. I want to see her feel happy, confident and beautiful. Unfortunately, I lack eloquence with my words. The few times I have tried to say things like she is beautiful, I see that she feels uncomfortable. I know there are ways to say good things without making her feel I am trying to make a pass at her. So for now, I have been refraining from further comments, trying to mirror her examples.

What are ways of saying good things to her without making her feel anything is expected? Should I be trying so hard? Should such compliments be given more judiciously -- saved for when they are needed most? I know this is a very simple matter -- so why is it so fracking complicated? <pardon my french>

beautiful is a hard word for women to accept sometimes, my husband has said that word from the beginning and i felt so uncomfortable the first few years he said it.

how about, "you look great" or "you look nice today" or "i really like your sence of style" or "i really enjoy our conversations" or "i appreciate your spin on things" or "your opinion matters to me".

how do i say the next part, make sure that you dont loose you manliness part, be assertive and confident and sure of your compliments, dont be so worried about what you are saying that she thinks you are timid or weak, let her know in no uncertain terms that you like her first then move to whatever comes next.

Great reply, kittylane!

All I have to add is to also think about complimenting her on little things like a necklace or earrings that you've never seen her wear, a new haircut or item of clothing.....this is the kind of thing that coworkers often comment on, so she shouldn't feel uncomfortable and it still shows that you are paying attention to her, and that you admire her.

And yeah, I wouldn't go too overboard with the compliments since it could start to feel like a bit much....and I agree with the manliness thing that kittylane mentioned....need to come across with confidence.

Thank you both for the good suggestions -- this really helps! And Kittylane, i get what you are saying about "manliness" and couldn't agree more. Either do something with confidence or not at all. :)