40-OW, 23-YM..4yrs together...and now, almost over....

Hello everyone.....

Ive been a reader of this sight....but never a poster until now.

Ive know my YM for 4yrs now.....online/phone relationship. Because of several circumstances that have happened through the course of our time together...I feel now that it's almost time to end it. Do I love him? Yes, I truly do. The first true and pure love I have felt in my life. Does he love me? Yes, I feel that he does.
Because of things that have happened.....and we have broke up many times, but always back together. ALways go back with each other. I don't know how to let go.....and I don't know how to stay. Especially with how things stand today. WIthout going into too many details........he feels he has given so much of himself already.....and now that I am where he always wanted me....he has decided that he can't love me in the way that he did last year. And now that I am at a place with him, with my love.......I want what he cant give. I want him to love me with the passion that he did....and he cant. Yes, he waited for me for a year and a half for me to come to him with my love. And now I am here....and its too late. (youd have to know what has caused me to wait so long). He had my love, and trust.....then something happened, and it took it away. And it has taken me to this time, this year, to realize that I do love him. But it seems now, its a little too late, for either of us. He is way mature than his age......although at times, he's right on with it. I just dont know how to stay and be this way.......to love him, and to want him.......to have him tell me he cant talk, or doesnt feel like emailing., or cant give himself to me in the way I want him. I am at a standsill............completely. I know that when he and I are through.....there is no more love for me. Because I will not allow myself to be put in this postion again. The trust wont be there for anyone else. But, how do I leave, when I love him so.....and he I? I know he does........I dont know how to give so much of myself now, so much love.......when he cant give it all in retrun. How can someone do that, stay?

Ill hush now.............if you wish to ask questions, you may.

Brokenhearted

have you guys met in person?

First and foremost I am sorry your having a hard time. I just have a few questions. Firstly, have you met in person? Is he pushing you away right now, not giving you the attention you need and DESERVE? Not calling, emailing, etc.? Are the two of you in a LDR (long distance relationship) and if so how far apart?

Did he cheat on you previously, is that why you had to rebuild your trust?

I know it's hard to imagine putting yourself back out there again and looking for love again. But take what you learned in this relationship and build a better one next time. Know in advance what you need and want from your boyfriend as a result of your experiences.

You will find happiness again, most likely when you least expect to find it.