Reassurance

I just started an amazing relationship with a slightly older woman, only 6 years my better... however, she has been struggling with our age difference. Is there anything that can be done to help reassure her that our age difference is ok... or does anyone have any success stories that could be shared?

thanks!

Fishmitts

Have her join this site and she will be amazed at all the great stories about the age gap, but then there are some that did not make it, but gosh 6 yrs difference is a piece of cake!

Welcome and good luck to you!

When I met my late husband, I remember being disappointed when I found out he was six years younger than me. I had always thought the man should be older. I didn't tell him right away how old I was.

I knew a fellow at work had an older wife, so I asked him if it had ever been a problem for him. His answer gave me the courage to try this new relationship. We married, and although we had our share of problems, age was not the cause. Six years isn't enough to worry about.

My wife and I have the same age gap that you do, and we've been happily married for more than 30 years. The age difference was never really an issue until several years ago, when she was able to retire and I was still having to go to work every day. I found myself feeling a little resentful about it, and actually came on this site hoping to find some advice about that. But I quickly discovered that our age difference was so small that it would hardly even be considered an age difference around here, so I never asked for advice about it. And now that I retired a few months ago, our age difference is again insignficant.

FWIW, I don't think my wife looks especially young for her age, but most people are very surprised when they learn that she's older than me. I think they just assume that we're the same age. My wife points out that one advantage of the woman being somewhat older is that women live longer, and if all women married somewhat younger guys, there wouldn't be such a disproportionate number of widows to widowers.

I am ten years older then my Fiance he is 24, I am 34. We have been together for 2 yrs, but have know each other for at least 10 yrs. His parents are very good friends of my parents.

We are extremely happy, Our families were hesitant at first, but accepting. I had a child already he is almost 5, that was a big factor for his parents etc...

I found the family thing the easiest part, I always knew that the way to a mans heart is really through his social circle, especially since he was really close to his buddies. Luckily I knew most of them, but the girls that was a different story.

The girls are young like the guys all in between 20 and 25, so Here comes this 30 something woman, who is secure in what her man does, has a career, a child, and basically doesnt mind her guy going out the boys and having a good time etc... Of course I was a new threat to the group. In reality I was far from a threat, I found myself uncomfortable, in this half naked society, they had the upper hand, I felt insuperior because I couldnt wear that itty bitty bikini at the beach... etc...

After 2 yrs, I am not uncomfortable for the most part, we go on double dates and out with the group alot, and I am comfortable, I am close to a few of the girlfriends, but not to where I would hangout with them alone. If we have an invite, to lets say a "house" party, I politely decline, I am just into it, and he usually wont go either, he has 2 degrees already and good career too, much more mature then most of his friends. I tend to be the more immature one in my 30 something social circle, so we are mentally on the same page, which is great.

It takes time, but tell her there are good things about it, and bad, just like any other relationship, and btw, 6 years is nothing, My ex was 5yrs my junior and no one ever knew or asked. As long as your on the page mentally things should run just like any other relationship.

Best wishes

6 years is only a big deal if you're 18-22 and she's 24-28. Once you get beyong those years, it's not much. My ex husband was 23 when I met him and I was almost 27....didn't seem like much. We never even thought about it to be honest.