So what do you all REALLy think about OM/YW?

Seriously? I've had people try to analyse me and my relationship with my father to try to understand why I prerfer to date older men (oler by 15-20 years). I have spent time reflecting on their accusations and suspicions of "mental instability" just to keep myself in check, and I can honestly say that I don't feel that I have any mental issues that cause me to be attracted to older men. I just feel more myself with men in their 40's.
Society as a whole seems to look down on me for this. What do you all REALLY think?

Actually, the younger woman-older man relationship is quite common, it is the flip side that draws the most attention.

I personally dont have any opinion on OM/YW relationships at all. I DO have opinions about individual relationships. I dont agree with relationships where the participants are equal partners, regardless of age. I do agree with relationships that are loving, caring, and generally good for both partners regardless of age.

Unfortunatly I don't think society is going to change completely.. It has gotten more acceptable..

Let them try and analyze.....just ignore it... If thats what you like then your an adult that's all that matters!!

What do I really think? I think that people get into all sorts of relationships for all different reasons, and these reasons are unique to the people involved.

However, with that being said, I also think that it's important to sit back and take stock of your relationship every once in a while, including *why* you are with the person. Not from a "right or wrong" perspective, but just to gain some understanding about yourself, and perhaps be better able to relate to others about your relationship.

You said that you have always gone for older men. Why is that? Be honest with yourself about it. Again, this isn't about it being "right or wrong", it's just recognizing that these is this dynamic in your relationship, and that people, no matter what their motivation, will ask or comment about it.

I also think that doing this, and coming up with reasons that are acceptable to you, will lessen your angst over the intial "father figure" reaction and will also enable you, perhaps, to explain to people *how* they are wrong about their perceptions.

The random person on the street will think what they are going to think, and that really just has to be *their* issue. I'm speaking here about relating to family, friends, and others whose opinions actually should matter to you.

Yup, the "father figure" comment is exceptionally annoying, but you really don't get too far in relating to people with the "age is just a number" knee-jerk reaction.

Think of it this way, even if they don't "get it" after you have discussed it with them, at least you will be confident in yourself that you did in fact try, and that you have many other reasons for being with this older man.

Yup, the "father figure" comment is exceptionally annoying, but you really don't get too far in relating to people with the "age is just a number" knee-jerk reaction.

I have never been looking a daughter figure. Hell, I was not even looking for anyone close to her age when I found her.

Is age really just a number or only an issue when the gap seems large?

Age, I am convinced, in many AGRs, is *not* just a number.

But, regardless, I do believe that *that* particular statement is a complete cop-out most of the time, and ignores many of the issues at hand.

Like....how to relate to others who would have the stereotypical view of AGRs, whose opinions actually matter to us.

To the first question... I think most people are less than happy when things happen that run contrary to the way they think the world should be! The question ultimately becomes how much you care about their world.

To the second question... is it just a number or only a factor when the difference is large? I think there are some realities about age gap relationships, but most of those realities are not much different than the ones that might exist in a more traditional relationship. There are certainly some "life stage" questions that both will have to face... but the bigger one might be the importance of NOT attributing every difference and every difficulty to the age difference.

It is possible to celebrate the difference and to manage it.

Interesting. That could apply to the first point as well.

FOR ME...ITS NOT A "FATHER FIGURE" DEAL ITS MORE OF A MATURITY THING. i HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH MY DAD AND I'VE BEEN TOLD ALL MY LIFE THAT IM MORE MATURE FOR MY AGE. I PERSONALLY WOULD RATHER BE IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT MORE STABLE AND MORE GROWN UP AND WITH SOMEONE WHOS GOT THEIR STUFF TOGHETER LIKE ME THAN WITH SOME ONE WHO JUST WANTS A PIECE OF *****!!!!

LENAE

Even though I love Mandy, I hope I never lose interest in a POA. Life would not be worth living.