MassimoG
04-25-2006, 04:31 PM
"Her smile, is my alibi."
MassimoG here, I am new. This is long, I know, and I apologize. However I covet your input, so I must present an informative background for you.
Stats: 40
Divorced
1 son in my custody and care, full time
Fit and happy J
A little confused
A year and a half ago I met "Mara", who is now 22.
This is not an air-headed 22 year old. She has been raised in a God-fearing family, and believe me, she is 22 going on 30 in some aspects. However, I am not in denial that she IS in fact 22 and that I am not. Hey, it’s why I came to the boards here J
I/we have "guarded" our friendship. Over the course of time, fight as we may, back off as we did, feelings have developed, and we are learning to address them as best we can. So many times we have said to each other "I don't want a relationship". How much of that was a diversionary tactic? We STILL say it HA!Who knows?!
We talked about these stronger "feelings " as they developed, and as of late have decided to be a little more honest about things. These stronger feelings have been in place for 5 months, evident but avoided.Anyhow, we had cultivated this friendship for over 1 year prior to these feelings emerging.
Are we a little "freaked"? Sure.
Afraid? Not really. We feel life is unpredictable, you have to go with it, or get crushed.
We are "best friends".
Can I be completely honest and open up here folks? No fronts, this is serious stuff.
By way of very practical example: Last Friday, she came over and I made dinner. We sat on a couch, she put her legs across mine and I massaged her feet, and calves. (I made sure it stopped there and went no higher than that J )I wound up playing with her hair and stroked her face twice. I had never even TOUCHED her face. She did not flinch. We hold each other in silence at times for minutes, it is "peace", without a word spoken.
This may seem like "nothing" to some, but to us, it is a massive shift. We have just not been very physical at all, by choice, we "buried it" as much as possible, to "guard" the friendship. There has been on and off: hand holding, extended hugs and those silent questions asked through our eyes wondering "Wow, what is going on here?"
We talked about that "dinner night" next day, and both loved what happened.
We hold hands in the car often, but always ask "are you okay with this"? Just a lot of respect and caution going on, some wisdom in there as well.
I have to confess here: sex, has not been a priority. In fact not at all. Yes, she's gorgeous, but what truly arouses me is her heart, far more than the beauty that dresses her. Sex is not what I am after. If that were my goal… I'd rather find another way of getting it done, than to risk breaking Mara's heart, for something as selfish as "needs". We are just not at that place , and I am in no rush to be so, nor is she. We love the closeness we have and I esteem this person, her heart is paramount to me. The friendship has been so sweet and honest and has blossomed in the face of stern criticism.
Sure , we get criticized, and judged by our "jurors", but my attorney is my conscience, and her smile…my alibi. She wants to be here, the friendship has not come without resistance from outside parties.
We staved off anything physical, I felt/feel VERY responsible here as the older "interest". We haven’t kissed. I haven’t had the courage… though yes, the desire, but the time is not right J I am SO at peace with that. I consider her a treasure, a flower I do not wish to spoil, by moving out of time.
It is not about fulfilling a fantasy, or clinging onto my youth. I have "been" with women this much younger , as well as far older than I. Though not in a "relationship". That is not a "brag", it is to qualify that I have had experience in some areas, so I can see and assess the difference from one situation to another.
She doesn’t make me "feel" young, for young: I am J.
I am happy guy, who has treated her with such respect and always tried to put her heart before my own. She deserves that respect, all women (and men) do.
The "physical" difference is not a huge deal, at least not right now. I am a p/t personal trainer, in great health, but perhaps more importantly; my spirit, the "heart of me" is vibrant and filled with passion for life, and yes, for her as well.
We share a strong love for God, we pray together, but we only did so after having prayed "apart" as individuals, before moving into in tandem.
So the age old question: do you risk the friendship (which we ADORE and cherish), and move ahead? Bearing in mind the "gap".
Wow, any thoughts?
Thank you so very much!
MassimoG here, I am new. This is long, I know, and I apologize. However I covet your input, so I must present an informative background for you.
Stats: 40
Divorced
1 son in my custody and care, full time
Fit and happy J
A little confused
A year and a half ago I met "Mara", who is now 22.
This is not an air-headed 22 year old. She has been raised in a God-fearing family, and believe me, she is 22 going on 30 in some aspects. However, I am not in denial that she IS in fact 22 and that I am not. Hey, it’s why I came to the boards here J
I/we have "guarded" our friendship. Over the course of time, fight as we may, back off as we did, feelings have developed, and we are learning to address them as best we can. So many times we have said to each other "I don't want a relationship". How much of that was a diversionary tactic? We STILL say it HA!Who knows?!
We talked about these stronger "feelings " as they developed, and as of late have decided to be a little more honest about things. These stronger feelings have been in place for 5 months, evident but avoided.Anyhow, we had cultivated this friendship for over 1 year prior to these feelings emerging.
Are we a little "freaked"? Sure.
Afraid? Not really. We feel life is unpredictable, you have to go with it, or get crushed.
We are "best friends".
Can I be completely honest and open up here folks? No fronts, this is serious stuff.
By way of very practical example: Last Friday, she came over and I made dinner. We sat on a couch, she put her legs across mine and I massaged her feet, and calves. (I made sure it stopped there and went no higher than that J )I wound up playing with her hair and stroked her face twice. I had never even TOUCHED her face. She did not flinch. We hold each other in silence at times for minutes, it is "peace", without a word spoken.
This may seem like "nothing" to some, but to us, it is a massive shift. We have just not been very physical at all, by choice, we "buried it" as much as possible, to "guard" the friendship. There has been on and off: hand holding, extended hugs and those silent questions asked through our eyes wondering "Wow, what is going on here?"
We talked about that "dinner night" next day, and both loved what happened.
We hold hands in the car often, but always ask "are you okay with this"? Just a lot of respect and caution going on, some wisdom in there as well.
I have to confess here: sex, has not been a priority. In fact not at all. Yes, she's gorgeous, but what truly arouses me is her heart, far more than the beauty that dresses her. Sex is not what I am after. If that were my goal… I'd rather find another way of getting it done, than to risk breaking Mara's heart, for something as selfish as "needs". We are just not at that place , and I am in no rush to be so, nor is she. We love the closeness we have and I esteem this person, her heart is paramount to me. The friendship has been so sweet and honest and has blossomed in the face of stern criticism.
Sure , we get criticized, and judged by our "jurors", but my attorney is my conscience, and her smile…my alibi. She wants to be here, the friendship has not come without resistance from outside parties.
We staved off anything physical, I felt/feel VERY responsible here as the older "interest". We haven’t kissed. I haven’t had the courage… though yes, the desire, but the time is not right J I am SO at peace with that. I consider her a treasure, a flower I do not wish to spoil, by moving out of time.
It is not about fulfilling a fantasy, or clinging onto my youth. I have "been" with women this much younger , as well as far older than I. Though not in a "relationship". That is not a "brag", it is to qualify that I have had experience in some areas, so I can see and assess the difference from one situation to another.
She doesn’t make me "feel" young, for young: I am J.
I am happy guy, who has treated her with such respect and always tried to put her heart before my own. She deserves that respect, all women (and men) do.
The "physical" difference is not a huge deal, at least not right now. I am a p/t personal trainer, in great health, but perhaps more importantly; my spirit, the "heart of me" is vibrant and filled with passion for life, and yes, for her as well.
We share a strong love for God, we pray together, but we only did so after having prayed "apart" as individuals, before moving into in tandem.
So the age old question: do you risk the friendship (which we ADORE and cherish), and move ahead? Bearing in mind the "gap".
Wow, any thoughts?
Thank you so very much!