Too many differences??

Hi guys!

I love this website!!! it's so good to have a site like this. I'm new to the board and i live in the uk, i would just like your opinions on the my current situation at the moment. I am 20 and and the guy i am seeing is 40 which is a difference in itself, however the other thing is that we are of different race which is an added problem :( .

We get on with each other so well even though we can see each other a few times each month but when we do we just click and we speak to each other all the time.

I was just wondering if any of you guys are in the same situation or could offer some advice? I can't imagine telling my parents and i don't know if its best to just end it before it gets too serious??

I am 20 and and the guy i am seeing is 40 which is a difference in itself,
however the other thing is that we are of different race which is an added problem :(

We get on with each other so well

we just click

we speak to each other all the time.

Hi nickyanne, Welcome

Could you even imagine living in a world where EVERYBODY in it was exactly the same in every way?

Who says different is a bad thing?

If you think that different is a bad thing, and if you care more about your parent's opinions than your relationship with this guy, then I would recommend that you move on before it gets serious.
Age-gap interracial relationships demand lots of commitment and love to survive, if you are not sure, better seek for something less complicated.
You are young and I am sure that you will find plenty of guys with more things in common with you, with whom you will also click. :)

Thanks for the advice!

I think maybe i need to find his commitment to me first and this will take a lot more time to see how we both cope. If the love gets stronger then we can take it from there.

nic

Even the mere idea of me marrying, proves I need committed. Men in white coats come and get me now!

hi... im think im almost in the same situation like you. im dating my OM which is 29 years older than me. (im 20), we have race differences also. im asian and he's brazilian.

last sunday, i told my mom about my OM, and she's so shocked and she cried like baby and another childish act... (well, my mom isnt a mature person anyway)

me and my boyfriend going up so well, we fill each other, and yes, we're different, but the differences not come from the age issues. we diff in personal. if you like this guy, dont end it. get to know each other better for few months and after your're sure about him, you can tell your parents. and if its not working well, its nothing to loose.

well, i write this because of my experience. i told my mom about us too early (we're still getting to know each other). so now i feel like in a middle of dessert.

Hello Nic

I'm new here ( I registered just a few minutes ago). I saw your post and I decided to write something too.

I'm 20, and my OM, he's 40. I'm Chinese, and he's French. We've been having LDR since June last year. He came over to visit me in November last year. Here comes the uneasy part... While he was here, I introduced him to my mum and my aunt as my "good" friend, someone whom I love to chat to on the Internet. While my mum was okay with it, my aunt got worried and started to influence my mum's thinking. In the end, both of them told me that they were worried for me. They thought that he was a pervert with an ulterior motive. They started telling me over and over again that we are very different in terms of our qualifications, age, race, culture etc. They said that I deserve someone younger and better, and if I were to choose to be with him, I'd have to look after him when I'm still in my prime. Moreover, other people will TALK. Actually, I don't care. He's a sweet athletic gentlement who doesn't care about my looks.

After he returned to his country, my dad told me to chat with him less (on IM). While I said okay, I would chat with him without them knowing. I know this is bad, but I just love chatting with him, and seeing him.

I intend to let my parents know about us when the time is ripe. But before this, I would teach him about my culture and language. He's keen on learning Mandarin, by the way, and has picked up quite a lot of Chinese phrases. Hopefully he'll be able to converse in Mandarin (and maybe in my parents' dialects too, if possible). I'll get him to talk to our parents about us. I hope that my parents will appreciate our efforts, and accept us.

Hey

Thanks for the reply it's just good to know that there are other people out there who are in the same situation as me. I know that i will definatley wait some time before telling my parents as i havn't known my OM for long. But as long as you are in love with someone and vice versa of course! then parents should be understanding of this and realise that it is better for you to be with someone who cares for you than someone who doesn't.

nic