I have a question

I am with a man 14 yr older than me. He is 35 and I am 21. We are getting married at the end of the year. He has a daughter that will soon be 16. She is a very important part of his life. I want to get to know her. I am meeting her for the first time in a couple of weeks. I do not want to be her mother or a evil step mother. I want to be her friend. How or what should I do to get in her good graces??? Please let me know or if you been in this staution before let me know how things went??? Thanks!

I am with a man 14 yr older than me. He is 35 and I am 21. We are getting married at the end of the year. He has a daughter that will soon be 16.


Wow, you are only like 5 years older than his daughter. I would be surprised if you did not act more like sisters than anything else.

Does that mean he will have to raise both of you? :p

Just be yourself.....

Its really all up to her how your first encounter goes.......

You are the 21 year old that came into her Daddy's life........

This first meeting will be all dependant on her actions......

whether she accepts the relationship or rejects it........

so......just be yourself........let her see the real you from day one.....

Good luck!

Sora

How long has she known about you? also, isnt it a bit strange that your bf didnt introduce you two *before* the engagement? does she know you guys are engaged? how did she take the news? I think we need more info!

Personally, I think adults trying to be "friends" with kids is not always particularly wise... when we're dealing with that much of an age gap, it can actually come across as pathetic... and the kid ends up manipulating the parent/step-parent.

That said, I recommend huge doses of respect and a lot of listening regardless of the role you decide to take. Kids can see through people very quickly and they will respond well to being treated with the respect. It might take a while, so stir in some patience.