Is an emotional affair

still an affair?

If your partner was 100% physically faithful to you, but connected with someone else better on an emotional level, could talk to them better and about more things, how would this make you feel?

I would feel even worse about an emotional affair than a physical one. Emotional intimacy to me implies that they have deep, caring emotions for each other, which would certainly be a relationship killer. A physical affair is painful enough, but wouldn't be as painful to me as when he would be emotionally bonded with her.

You know, I finally have come to the conclusion that a lot of my online activity was within the context of this description of an "emotional affair" and that what it did was to prevent the opportunity to repair our marriage at a time when it might have been possible to repair it. (Of that I am still not convinced.) I think how it would make a partner feel is sort of obvious, but I still see this as a very different thing than a physical affair. What one is often (not always) doing is flirting with the idea of someone else. And I think that if a partner believes his/her partner to be pulling away, he/she has some responsibility to say "What's going on here?", just as the partner engaging in the "emotional affair" needs to ask themselves why they are drawn so closely to someone outside of their partnership.

I do believe that we can have friendships and confidantes of the opposite sex within the context of a marriage/partnership. But negotiating and navigating this becomes tricky. You really have to be careful that your partner knows about it and that it is identified as a friendship and that you keep it on the up and up. I might go on to say that if you are not having equally satisfying conversations with you partner, then your relationship is broken and you need to get help to fix it!

I think "emotional affairs" should be a wakeup call!

It's worse. I've been through that but not as the person who was being abandoned emotionally.

I've known a few men who considered me their soul-mate and could communicate with me better than their partners. It created a situation of frustration and jealousy for their partners even though nothing physical ever happened between us. From then on, I learned to never get emotionaly close to a man who is involved with someone else. It's just too frustrating for everyone and of course at some point it has got to stop and the separation from a soul-mate is extremely painful.

It would make me feel awful. It would hurt worse than physical. I adore the frienship and close bond that we have and I would consider it a betrayal for my fella to share that type of closeness with another. MOST definately I would consider this an affair. IMO

Emotional feelings is definately worse. I am in a relationship yet i am in love with my man, but I did have a strong relationship (talking wise with someone at work) before they left, and i miss him. I know that is bad, but that doesn't mean i love him, it just means i miss him as a friend that i saw every day at work. work is not the same at all and honestly i kinda wrote a poem about our friendship. sounds bad, but i would never show it to him and soon im sure i will shred it up.

still an affair?

If your partner was 100% physically faithful to you, but connected with someone else better on an emotional level, could talk to them better and about more things, how would this make you feel?

I think this is a point I've tried to make more than once on this site: there are many different intimacies and many different ways to "cheat" on a partner. Some of them may not even involve another person. Whenever we begin putting someone or something ahead of the relationship we may well be "cheating."

Narrowly defining cheating is a convenient way to feel righteous but it does very little to grow positive relationships.

Driving under the speed limit does not make one a safe driver.

Threre's not much more I can add to this, everyone else stated it so well.

I felt my ex emotionally pulling away toward the end of the relationship (I suspected he was with someone else--still not sure about that, though) and it hurt so badly I never want ot experience that kind of sadness and pain again--ever. :(

when my exhb handed me divorce papers, I asked him if there was someone else. He said, with a sort of defiant tone, "No, there isn't anyone else."

He was remarried within 12 weeks of the divorce. His new wife and he insist that they never were physical while we were still married; and I believe them (they were worship/music leaders at our church together for 2 years prior).
Ahem....nothing physical, but obviously emotional in a big way.

Our marriage was done for about 7 years at that point, and I had fallen in love with someone else by then as well....but because there was nothing "physical" my exhb STILL feels self rigtheous about his role in the demise of our marriage and points the finger at me for it's failure.

I think a strong, exclusive, confidant, emotional connection between two people is definitely "cheating".

When the heart disconnects and strays, it's the beginning of the end in my humble opinion. It's a warning sign that there's trouble and someone's needs aren't being met. By that point, it's hard to repair the relationship - with outside distractions in view.

I think if my partner was more "connected" to someone else - I'd feel it was time to re-evaluate the relationship. If I cannot be the first one he runs to for the emotional or verbal end of things, then I don't think I want to be there for the physical part later.