Mixed Feelings: In love or plain nuts?

Hey,
I'm 27 and OM is 53. We've been together for about a year. We had an instant connection, communicate well, have great sex, etc. It is by far the best relationship I've ever had.
I'm either falling in love or I'm going nuts because my thoughts are so conflicted...
When we are together, I feel happy and content. We always have a great time, even when doing nothing. Our friendship is very natural.
But when we are apart my mind churns out worrisome thoughts a mile-a-minute. Among them:

-Is something wrong with me?
-Is he a pervert?
-Am I a pervert?
-People probably think I'm a gold digger
-People probably think I'm a *****
-Am I a *****?
-Do I want to wipe his *** in 10 years?
-Do I want to see him die?
-How will I tell my mother?
-Is he using me?
-Am I using him?
-When I'm 40, he'll be...
-WHAT AM I THINKING!!

I have tried to walk away from him just to have peace from these perplexing thoughts. But we continue to be drawn to each other. I can't deny the special bond that we have. I guess I'm just freaking out over the age difference. Sometimes I almost wish he would turn out to be a jerk so I could walk away and stay gone!
Do these conflicting thoughts seem normal?
Has anyone else experienced similar thoughts?
How did you deal with it?
Thanks,
Maggiemama

Hi Maggie. I understand how you're feeling, but you have a bit bigger gap than I do (I have 18 yr gap). I struggled with these things before we got together and at the beginning. Occasionally now (about 6 mos into it) I get the odd twinge of wondering, but otherwise I'm just plain ol happy!

What really helped me was to try to think in terms of all the other things that could happen. Half of all marriages fall apart, it could be the younger one that dies or gets sick first etc etc.... You really just don't know what's going to happen. AND, therefore it's pointless to do anything than just enjoy the time that we do have together.

As for what other people think...well I guess I'm used to people thinking I'm weird, so it's nothing new. Besides, who are you going to worry about more - your own happiness or what others think?

My biggest issue right now is worrying about losing him. I don't care about having to look after him, or whatever else might happen. I just don't want to lose him and wish we could have an entire lifetime together. I know logically that it's useless and self-defeating to think this way...but you know how it is.

-Is something wrong with me? Nothing is wrong with you

-Is he a pervert? NO

-Am I a pervert? NO

-People probably think I'm a gold digger - NO

-People probably think I'm a ***** (Not sure what *** is but I will say NO)

-Am I a *****? Again, No

-Do I want to wipe his *** in 10 years? - Would you do this if you married someone your own age who became a quadroplegic in 10 years?

-Do I want to see him die? Again, no one knows when or how we will die, its a chance with anyone we love.

-How will I tell my mother? Can't help you there.

-Is he using me? Probably not

-Am I using him? Probably not

-When I'm 40, he'll be... (Does it matter?)

-WHAT AM I THINKING!! You're in love. You have a true companion ......... stop thinking about what everyone else will think or say. It doesnt matter my dear. What matters is your happiness. Are you happy? Are you happier together or a part? What are your thoughts of him when he isnt with you.

Don't doubt a good thing and look for negatives if it is truly something you want. Life is too short. Enjoy it. (By the way, Im 32 and Om is 67....I've thought all the same things at some point and realized I shouldnt think so negative.)

Good thoughts. Thank you.
I don't know why I am so concerned about what other people think.
I am a fairly attractive young woman who was married for several years to a fairly attractive young man. We had 2 beautiful children together. I'm sure we looked good from the outside. In fact, I'm know we did because I have the photographs to prove it. We fit into society's picture of a happy couple. But he was hateful and abusive from day one and I hid my misery and suffered in silence for all of those years. We may have looked happy, but I knew better!
Now I am in a healthy relationship with someone who respects me and treats me like gold. But we look a little odd from the outside because of the age difference. We may look strange but I know how happy I am! When I lie down at night the rest of society is not there. The things that truly matter are my health and happiness and that of my children. I don't know why I forget that...
Who cares what other people think!