Prime

Anyone going to see this film?

It's about age gap relationships and supposedly Uma Thurman is the OW seeking out a YM.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=17078430&method=full&siteid=66633&headline=anew-take-on-age-old-problem--name_page.html

Does the above article have a point? Are age gap relationships still taboo?

It's utter, utter crap, yet again. Frankly. This:


"I do think they can work but obviously growing up in two different generations you are going to have different interests and I think that will eventually cause problems within the relationship," he says.


I'm sorry, but that is just absolutely ridiculously not necessarily true. Does that mean that every 20 year old likes the same things, and so does every 40 year old, and so they can't have the same interests? Because that's absolute bs. Why the need to label people like that, everyone is different and an individual.

I've never met anyone who I share so many interests with as my gf. We're involved WITH each other BECAUSE we have the same interests, indirectly. Why on earth would I even get involved with someone I share no interests with? I go to a fair few gigs too, and at a lot of them I see people of a variety of ages. So where this guy gets his idea's about Cliff Richard and Take That, i really don't know... my mum liked Take That. :eek: Plus, lots of older people like new music, and lots of younger people like older music.

Already saw it last winter. I liked it very much until the end.

As for the referenced article? I'm with Rob; utter tripe. I can't believe I actually read this:

"If the woman was in her early thirties and the man was in his forties then yes they may have different interests but it will still be accepted. But if that same man was in his late twenties the relationship could never take place as the age gap becomes an issue."

What???? :eek:

Rob, sure, age gap-related differences will eventually arise in some way, shape, or form. That's a given. But as long as anyone going into an age gap relationship understands this, accepts this, and as long as both parties are willing to find a middle ground that works for everyone, it's a minor issue, know what I mean?

Jeremy and I watched it on DVD last week. I already knew the general ending - because of what someone posted here in another thread - but it came as a surprise to Jeremy. He was really upset. LOL! He said, "I hate movies like that!" (With sad endings)

I said - well, in the minds of the writers and much of society, she did the "right" thing. It was "bittersweet" to them and logical. She was being "responsible." To them, it never ould have worked - how could it? Of course he needs to go fly off and sow his wild oats to become a man. They tried to show that by himsaying he was going off to see the world ie South America. (Of course, it completely ignores the fact that she went to Paris during the romance and has a career that she goes all over for and he could easily have joined her.)

Oh, no. It couldn't possibly have worked. What, with them both being creative people and living in the same city and open to other religions (It was obvious that the Jewish concern was his mother's not his). I mean, jeez, a 23 year old getting married and having a kid? Never happens!! That'd be horrible! There's no WAY it could have worked under those circumstances!

HA!

I didn't see one issue that couldn't be overcome. The whole ending seemed forced - not by the storyline, but by the writer's bias. Her final actions made no sense to me.

I also saw her ractions to the Ag as very selfish - everything was "He can't give me what I want/need."

BUt, I chose to interpret the VERY ending (in the restaurant) to mean that it WASN'T over.

That being said, the rest was a very fun & funny movie to watch - both to see her overcoming the age gap stuff, dealing with friends and family and just the comedic storyline of mom having to her intimate details about her son's sex life. Jeremy and I were rolling!

About the article:

Uma Thurman stars as the older woman and Bryan Greenberg as the young man she lusts afterOK, first off, this is the personal view of the writer. Did she even see the movie? HE pursues HER. She pretty much tries to end it when she finds out how old he really is. The writer obviously is biased and thinks of OW/YM in the sterotype "cougar" view. Once again, the older woman is seen as the preditor (even though the movie wasn't like that at all) in spite of the fact that the exact opposite is true for most OW/YM AGRs!
"I do think they can work but obviously growing up in two different generations you are going to have different interests and I think that will eventually cause problems within the relationship," he says. The couple will have to work harder at it than people who are closer in age and who therefore, have similar interests.
He should say COULD cause problems. And since when does being the same age give you more things in common?
"Growing up you think of events in your childhood as special but if your partner grew up 20 years earlier, they're not going to find the same things as interesting as you do.

"For example, if someone who grew up liking Cliff Richard was in a relationship with someone who liked Take That then they will have different interests and less in common."
So typical of someone who has never been in an AGR. Samr thing newbies always say and a load of crap. OK, so maybe it's true, but how much does it really mean in terms of an actual relationship working or not? Most same-age relationships don't have that many interests in common. It's the WANTS/NEEDS/GOALS that count a lot more than interests, IMO.
"If the woman was in her early thirties and the man was in his forties then yes they may have different interests but it will still be accepted. But if that same man was in his late twenties the relationship could never take place as the age gap becomes an issue."I just don't get this statement AT ALL. OK, if she's 32 and he's 42, it's not an issue. But if she's 32 and he's 28, it is?? Or is the author just saying that the relationship can't work because society doesn't accept OW/YM? If that's the case, I guess blacks and whites or Jews and Christians shouldn't marry either - cause society has a problem with it? Utter nonsense. "I have been fortunate enough to see a change in how homosexuals are treated," he says. "When I was younger they were outcast and looked down on, but now are more accepted.

"So I believe that over time age gap relationship will also be accepted and no one will question them. Although I think a difference in interests will cause problems after a while, I still believe that that love will overcome, regardless of the gap in age or any other problem."

OK, he's back on my good side.

OK, he's back on my good side.

Not a chance for me...

even though he's saying that they will overcome, he's ALSO saying that lack of shared interests WILL cause problems. My problem with this is that it's something that is being used by my gf's parents to cast doubt on OUR relationship. The biggest problem with AGR's is OTHER PEOPLES VIEWS. Like having to deal with parental disapproval. So, as long as people keep talking bs like this, then it doesn't help AT ALL.

Yes, I'm pretty fuming about this one. :(

I thought the writer was totally backpedaling and doing a little CYA action with that final paragraph!

Kristen, I chose to interpret the ending the same way that you did!! I believe that little scene wouldn't have been thrown in there if it wasn't a hint that it wasn't entirely over.

Rob, I get what you're saying but -- in general -- I have to disagree with your view of AGR related issues. I mean, it's fantastic if you're not really dealing with any age gap issues other than other people's perceptions of your relationship but your relationship is relatively unique, if this is the case. My husband is a pretty typical 24 year old man. I watch him make many of the same mistakes I made when I was his age and I watch him learn life skills that have, by now, become second nature to me. I tell older women all the time to not expect their younger men to be any older than they are. My husband will behave like he's 40 when he's 40 and not a day sooner (I hope)! And when he gets there, as long as he's as dedicated to me then as he is now, we'll be just fine :)

brownbear and i saw it. it was very funny. the end didn't suit us tho :( . i wish they could have just stayed together and lived happily ever after. we didn't feel that they had any REAL issues. i didn't get the ending...

Rob, I get what you're saying but -- in general -- I have to disagree with your view of AGR related issues. I mean, it's fantastic if you're not really dealing with any age gap issues other than other people's perceptions of your relationship but your relationship is relatively unique, if this is the case. My husband is a pretty typical 24 year old man. I watch him make many of the same mistakes I made when I was his age and I watch him learn life skills that have, by now, become second nature to me. I tell older women all the time to not expect their younger men to be any older than they are. My husband will behave like he's 40 when he's 40 and not a day sooner (I hope)! And when he gets there, as long as he's as dedicated to me then as he is now, we'll be just fine :)

Well, that's not the case, i'm not saying there aren't other things that we might have to take into consideration. What I'm saying is that other people is the 'biggest' problem IMO. Even if it's just people putting negative thoughts in your head, then that can be enough for some people.

I just hate to see things in the media like this that reinforce other peoples views when they're actually way off.