question for OW

do you feel that you are past the age of having children after 35?

No, i do not feel that way.:)

I'm 38 and I don't feel past the age of having children... I feel past the desire to have them, but not past the age.

Depending on the woman 35 to 40 is still a good age to have children. All movie stars have babies at that age.

Personally I think it is too old. Kids take alot of time, energy and mula. I had all of mine young and am glad now. The thought crosses my mind every now and again cause i loved being pregnant but in the end it would be no baby, too many other things in life to experience when you are past 35.

Why would you have kids with an EX?!! :eek:

Why would you have kids with an EX?!! :eek:

I'm pretty sure she meant she thought about it when she was with him, not now he's her ex.

I see now!! Thought Trish was the poster.

It depends. If the woman never had children and wants one it is possible. But not if she has kids already and does not want more. What is the case exaclty?

she has 2 already.

Honestly I feel that is a decision that should be made by herself and the advice of her gynecologist.

There is a WORLD of difference between the way I am handling this pregnancy at 33 in comparison to the way I handled my last one (at 21). I'm more exhausted and uncomfortable, but I get plenty of rest so I'm able to manage.

Now I know my doctor has no problems with a woman having a baby up until 40 (we actually talked about this when I first found out). The reason 35 is the magic number is because of the increased risks that begin to occur with advanced maternal age.

Provided she's in good health, that you both are aware of the complications that may occur, her doctor approves, and that she wants this for herself (not just to make you happy) then I say why not?

My mother was breaking the rules years ago when she had me in 1973 at 42. And that was prior to Ultrasounds!

I had my first child at age 20 and my "baby" at age 36/37. Both were wonderful experiences, unique in their own way. My then YM husband, age 21 (2nd marriage for both of us) had lost a child shortly after birth and he wanted another baby. I had always said that I would have ONE MORE between 35-40.

It was wonderful having a child later in life. I found that I treasured the little things, and didn't sweat the small stuff. I was very patient and acted more wisely in dealing with the youngest. Even now while I am almost 60 and she is 24, having a daughter this age keeps me younger and gives me experiences that I am not having with my older children.

Also, my friends say that she is the one that is the most like me. :p I wouldn't trade my decision for all the trips to Europe in the world.

I'm 38 and I don't feel past the age of having children... I feel past the desire to have them, but not past the age.

ROFLMAO *falls outta chair* I'm OK!!!


ahhhh *wipes tear* that was great. too funny.

ok ok, i'm 34, i'll be 35 on jan. 1....i have 3, one of which is adopted (he's my 2nd cousin, had him since he was 6 days old, he ma baby!) and i want one more. My health prolly would prefer it if i had the last one BY 37 or so and i'd prefer that my dang self.

But two first hand experiences:

My mama had my lil sis at 39-40....she had remarried and he had no children. She was pregnant 3 times before we were blessed with my sissy.

My gal Heidi, her mom had her baby sis Kirsten when her mom was 40 solid.

My mama once told me, while changing Whitney-bird (my pet name for her...peter pan, tinkerbell called wendy...wendy-bird) that she was sorry.
"What FOR Mama??!"

"I have more patience with her. I didn't have much patience with you."

:(
Holy crackers she was only a month into being 18! when she had me, she was a baby herself. She was a perfect mother to both of her daughters at both stages of her life. Her age may of made the PREGNANCY more difficult (boy did it) but it affected her mothering NONE imo.

once again, as a result of talking about my mom on here.....i love and miss you Mama.

no 35 is not too old. since i am 10 years past that, it seems so very doable.

35 should be a non issue, what really is important is if you WANT them.

I really dont think 35 is any magic number other than the age at which risks of problems caused by aging eggs starts to greatly increase.

If she is healthy and their is nothing in her or her family's medical history, there shouldnt be a problem with her having children. If there is a family history of Down's Syndrome or other such problems that increase with maternal age, then that may need to be considered when she considers having more children. If she's healthy with none of those risk factors, it shouldnt be a problem.

My mother in law had my husband when she was 39. She had 3 children after him. And that was 50 years ago. One died in a house fire at a young age, but there was nothing medically wrong with them as a result of their mom's age.

I don't think 35 is too late. But it's wise to take your doctor's advice into consideration, along with your desire to have a child.

Don't want to scare you (or anybody else here)... but I was taken by surprise when I went through early menopause at age 38. I never had a child...and suddenly then it happened... my biological clock stopped. :(

I thought early menopause was a rarity... but doing further reading, I learned it's not so uncommon.

(btw, I'm fine with it now, of course. :) )

I'm glad my parents didn't think 35 was too old, or I wouldn' be here now. (My mother was just shy of 38 when I was born, and that was back in the 1940's when medicine wasn't nearly as good as it is now.) My maternal grandmother had her last child at the age of 41, at home, way out in the country, and if I calculate it correctly, I think she had her last 3 after she was 35.

Obviously, there are somewhat greater risks, but if the woman is healthy, the chances are that everything will go fine if she gets pregnant (although fertility tends to decline after age 35, even though menopause is typically much later).

Nope. Definitely not too old. My husband (25) and I (40) are seriously considering it.

Previous research ONLY included women who were also partnered with same age/older men or older men paired with younger women, thus skewing the results. New studies that are including older women paired with younger men are finding that these couples have nearly as great a success rate in producing a healthy, viable baby as an older man paired with a younger woman.

As far as having the energy to chase around a wee one day in and day out after the age of 40? That's highly subjective... ;)

As far as having the energy to chase around a wee one day in and day out after the age of 40? That's highly subjective... ;)

Ya got that right, Kelly! My friend's cousin had her first pregnancy at 50 and she had twins!! I would have shot myself! :eek:

I will be 41 next month and would love to have another child or 2

I have 2 daughters ages 10 and 7.

My doctor said that I could have children til I was at least 45.

My 42 year old friend had her first child 2 years ago.

Hi,

I'm 37 and haven't given up the idea of having kids until I'm 40-41..provided that the doctor gives me an OK when I'm ready. I don't have any of my own so I'm sure my maternal drive might be higher than someone that does. I really think it's all up to the individual. ;)

Like Barb, I had my "baby" later, at 35....and I am sooooooooooooooooo glad. I was able to raise a child as an older parent with a way more settled life (finances, knowing who I was, established career, more time to give, etc.). He is 15 now, and we have the best relationship.... there is a lot of laughter when we are together, and I have never had problems with him (or his brother) and typical teenage rebellion (drugs, drinking, smoking, defiance, etc.).

Don't get me wrong, we have our normal dose of "battling of the wills", etc....but I think being an older parent was a positive in that I was WAY more patient and attentive than I would have been had I had them at 20 or even 25 when we were "financially" and time-challenged....trying to juggle careers in the making, and children, etc.

If I would have remarried at 40 to a sweet ym or whatever, I wouldn't have hesitated getting pregnant with him. At 50, although technically still possible, I wouldn't want the time-intensive responsibility any more. I babysit my friend's 2 year old 4 days a week (~20 hours) and it's just enough time to get that mothering-mode out of my system now.

For me, 35 is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO not too old....again for me, I would have drawn the "too old" line at about 43-44. But that's just me....Joan Lunden had two sets of twins (surrogate mom) with her new younger husband at about 52 and 54, I think!! And, she LOVES it!

I am 56 years old and I don't have periods anymore for the past 6 months, which is not enough time to assume birth control safety..... so I'll assume that if my tubes weren't tied, I could still mother more babies if presented with a young shot of good lovin'! LOL One of my dearest friends had her first child at 40-something. 35 is nothing! :D

um, as long as a woman is menstruating, she's generally capable of reproducing. any limitation beyond that is personal or societal.

personally, i would never have desired a child in my thirties or forties. i had my daughter at 28 which seemed perfect to me. not too old, not too young. but the desire to reproduce is strong when you're in love....at any age, i think!

i just know at 55, i would not have desired a teenager a few years ago...but having a kid is a crap shoot...you can end up with an angel or a tasmanian devil. you never know the cyclone that might emerge from your womb.

Had to pipe in...

I'm 38 and my fiance is 25.

I'll be 39 when our little one is born around October 24th! :D

I worried I was too old - but sheesh - Mira Sorvino is 38 too and just had her 2nd child with HER 24 year old YM. And Nicole Kidman is 39, expecting her first biological child. And Anna Nicole Smith is 38 and reports say she is expecting. Gwen Stefani just had one at 37. Linda Evangelista is pregnant at 41!

So, if they can do it, so can I! LOL!

And this pregnancy has been text-book for me. Nothing different from before. And a good point that past studies involved an older man with the older woman. I think having a younger spouse will help and I have teen-aged children to help, as well. Built-in babysitters!

My THEN teenagers (16 & 14) LOVED the new baby sister. I had all the help I needed. :p

I'm 38 and I don't feel past the age of having children... I feel past the desire to have them, but not past the age.

I'm with Marcy on this one. I decided years ago that any kids that weren't here by the time I was 35 weren't coming, because at the time I did feel that 35 was "too old." By the time I reached 35 (just turned 46 last week), I didn't feel too old, I was just over the desire to be a mommy.

I'm 32 and I don't have any kids but would love to have one of two.My Ym and I have talked about it and hope to start trying in 3 years or so when he has finished his army time and will be leaving Turkey to come and live in Holland with me.If it was up to me I would have had kids when I was younger but I just didn't feel right with my partner at that certain time and now I've find someone who I want to have kids with and yes due to circumstances this has to wait for a few years and I'll be 35 then but that doesn't scare me or puts me off the idea of having them/one.
I have a few colleagues who recently gave birth to their first child at the age of 36 and 38.

this one, Kristin?

There it is! Thanks G!