The end...

I have been with my OW for thirteen months this Tuesday, we've been happy through the entire thing, with almost no conflicts or arguements, except for 2 or 3 big problems, no small stuff. I was staying with her this week while I applied for Police Academy. She has 2 sons (Age 19 & 20) and a daughter (Age 16), and wednesday, I decided to take my OW and her daughter to the movies, my treat. (The sons are here for the summer, they live with their dad.)

An hour before the movie was going to start, the sons come by needing help from their mother. Time was getting close so she was able to help her younger son, but since the movie was about to start soon, she wasn't able to help her older one. We enjoy the movie, just us three, the next day was planned for her to take me home since I ahd a job interview earlier today.

Yesterday, the younger son calls her, they argued a little about our age gap, but she was able to settle him down. The older one calls later, and he's arguing his head off with her, saying that she spent all week helping me apply, and on top of everything she drove me back home 2 hours away, and that she wasn't helping him. Out of stress she hung up on him, but we spoke in the afternoon after dinner. I was still around because since we arrived home late and needed to get up early if we were to take me home, we decided to wait one more day and go to sleep early the following night.

We're talking after dinner, her daughter is at work, and we see no other alternative but to break up. We were afraid that if we continued, it might get to the point where her sons would have nothing to do with her, and the last thing either of us want is for her kids to become distant with her. It's not a problem with me, I get along best with the older son, but what bother's them is the age gap.

We broke up last night, crying in each other's arms. Then, we escaped our sorrow for a moment to make love. I left the decision in her hands as to whether she would want to or not, ubt she wasn't sure. I asked her if she'd regret making love, she said no. I asked her if she'd regret not making love, and that led to it. I went on the computer afterwards to put my emotions into my story as she picked up her daughter from work. When she returned and we all went to sleep, I took the couch voluntarily so she could sleep better since she was the one to drive.

I ended up going to her bed, cuddling up with her, and we both went to sleep. She was having difficulty sleeping because we were broken up, I, on the other hand, was living the moment, what could have been my last moment to rest in her arms that way. This morning we got ready, drove up two hours (crying all the way, but trying not to.) and we stayed at my house talking for half an hour before she drove back down. I called her asap, (giving her a 15 minute break so she could cry her eyes out as I sorted out my own thoughts to get a grip on reality the of it) and we spoke for half of the trip, she has minutes so we spoke all we could.

I love her to death, I want only her. If eternity and the idea of soul mates are an illusion, then I choose to be Delusional. She means everything to me, and this is most difficult for me. I've never been so close to someone, and I believe she is for me. But never would I risk her losing her children, and neither would she, so that was our only point of agreement, the only reason to obligate us to break up.

You didn't state your age or the age gap between you and your OW....maybe I missed it. Not that it matters. Well, it DOES to some...I'm just not one of those persons who sets up AGE as a criteria for whether I'm gonna fall in love or not!

I see a lot of respect and sensitivity coming from you....but also a lot of FEAR. I think the age gap thing is just a convenient excuse for your OW's kids to object to your relationship. If it wasn't THAT, it would be something else. If it wasn't about AGE, but another reason, would you be backing down?

You have survived this relationship for 13 months and so now I'm finding it hard to understand why you would end it just because her teenage children's attempts to sabotage your love. I guess it worked....I'm sorry. :(

Well, I'm 19, and she's 47 years... young. If it weren't for the fact that her two sons cannot process that our age gap is irrevelant, I would stay with her, without a doubt. I adore her until the ends of the earth and beyond the limits of heaven. We've grown together, I used to cut, have terrible mood swings, and hide my sorrow from my family. The cuts, mood swings, gone. The false joy my family would see became real, and I've learned to handle anger (I was much too passive before). So you can get a feel as to how much we've grown to each other, and sunk into one another's skin in a positive manner.

I guess the hardest part is that all the obstacles we've faced, we took on and we've fixed, but this one with her sons seems to be getting worse. I love her all too much to lose her, but never would either of us allow for our relationship to come before her children. They are all really nice, it's just the gap that gets them.

Hi PR... I remember you from your earlier posts. I am surprised that you and your lady ended your relationship over a couple of heated phone calls from her sons. I am sure that they are having difficulty with the age gap. I realize that they don't live with mom and I wonder how much that plays into their discomfort? Afterall, the only minor is living with mom and it doesn't sound as if she has a problem.

I would strongly encourage your lady to come here and get some support. I think some sit down heart to heart with her adult children (they ARE adults) is warrented.

Other than typical teenager problems, I found the ages of 19-21 to be the most difficult time relating to my 3 children. Every single one of them were very judgmental and somewhat condescending at that age.

So I would NOT breakup a relationship because my kids found it discomforting.

Of course, you don't have to run off and get married either. :p Continue to get to know each other.

But if you two give up this easily together, I worry about how you will handle bigger issues that will surely come your way?

Just ENJOY each other!!!!
How long have you two been a couple?