Again, I was living a fantasy

Well, in my message of coming back I wrote about a possible relationship. I have known this guy for like a year and thanks to you all I decided to ask him about his intentions for the near future. Since he lives very far away, I asked him if he eventually wanted us to meet and he said no :(
Than a bunch of reasons why. *sigh*
he...another one bite the dust. and that is me!
Thanks to this place and the things I was reading that is what gave me the courage to clear things up about a future. Even if a small one.
A bit heartborken and disilusionned but i'll be fine. But the people here with what they write gave me the push to ask the right thing.
Faith47

I am sorry things did not work out. At least it is better to find the truth than wasting time on a dream. Just remember to never lose hope!
((((Hugs))))

I am sorry things did not work out. At least it is better to find the truth than wasting time on a dream. Just remember to never lose hope!
((((Hugs))))

Exactly Sheila. Thats why I wanted to clear things up once and for all. We talked about it before and it wasnt a definite no on his part so I was still hoping a bit but this time I wanted to clear it once and for all.

But like was already said, at least you now know and no longer live on that illusive word "hope".

And in the net world, one thing we can always do that at times can make us feel better as WE are in control of the situation is to hit DELETE and BLOCK as I know I do not want to wonder if he has changed his mind and begin to "hope" again. AND when that is done, then you can shout out: NEXT! :D
(and I do not mean for this to sound so flippant...as it will be harder to delete him from your heart; but this is the first step).

Hugs to ya,

Linda

But like was already said, at least you now know and no longer live on that illusive word "hope".

And in the net world, one thing we can always do that at times can make us feel better as WE are in control of the situation is to hit DELETE and BLOCK as I know I do not want to wonder if he has changed his mind and begin to "hope" again. AND when that is done, then you can shout out: NEXT! :D
(and I do not mean for this to sound so flippant...as it will be harder to delete him from your heart; but this is the first step).

Hugs to ya,

Linda

Linda,
That is EXACTLY what I did right after. DELETE and BLOCK! Tough one but it had to be done. Like you said first step. Next step is...next! :D
Thanks for your support girl
((hug))
Jocelyne

but we all go through the men whom we flirt wih online and then for what ever reason, they disappear on us. Or they say it's just an online friendship, etc. You know, I've decided that I can't take it all that hard, and I think you are taking it a bit too badly. He simply wasn't for you. You are such a good person I know you will find someone terrific to be with!

Hugs
Ali

shame! You'll survive and the next one will be good!:)

legallyblonde,
I am not taking it that badly. I wrote just after it happened and I must admit my pride was affected :o
I wasnt positive something would come out of it yet there was this little hope.
And I also agree he wasnt the one for me. Totally.

And yes babybee,
Shame on me. But I am not stuck. Just pride affected and a bit of hope gone away.

Well, knowing myself it will come back sooner than later

(hugs) to you all
Jocelyne

hey sweetie!!! (((big hug)))
you absolutely did the right thing!!! i'm glad that he can't contact you anymore. i'd rather be alone than be with someone who wasn't sure he wanted to be with me. i agree with Sheila, to never give up hope!!

hey sweetie!!! (((big hug)))
you absolutely did the right thing!!! i'm glad that he can't contact you anymore. i'd rather be alone than be with someone who wasn't sure he wanted to be with me. i agree with Sheila, to never give up hope!!

Thank you hon (((big hug)))
And no I am not giving up.
;)

...And no I am not giving up.
;)


Good! Hang in there, Faith. :) It takes time but you'll find him. :)

Hey Harrison,
Definitely one of my fav member here :D
Thanks. Well, he will have to find me cause I aint looking :p

I'm sorry that happened to ya. You did the right thing with the DELETE and BLOCK move. A clean cut is always faster to heal. I think sometimes it is the "what if's" that get to us worse than letting go of something we knew and tested.

Hang in there sis, and look forward to the possibilities the future brings.

I'm sorry that happened to ya. You did the right thing with the DELETE and BLOCK move. A clean cut is always faster to heal. I think sometimes it is the "what if's" that get to us worse than letting go of something we knew and tested.

Hang in there sis, and look forward to the possibilities the future brings.

Gypsy,
You hit it right on the nail :)
'sometimes it is the 'what if's' that get to us worse than letting go'
Aint that the truth!
Thanks girl :cool:

Faith welcome back!

Sorry to hear about your deal, it happens to the best of us :) but c'est la vie, and la vita e bella! and so are you!

Abientot ;)

Faith.....I feel your pain. I actually met my YM HERE because he posted, and dated him for over a month before he dumped me because his family opposed me. But I still hadn't gotten to the act of DELETE and BLOCK. Thanks to the words of the ladies here, that's exactly what I just did. The guy knows where I live. He could find out which store I've been placed in......just started new job that he knew about and he still has my cell number and even though I took him out of my address book, he can still call me. I don't need him invading my internet space just because he's had a change of heart. I'm not holding my breath....there's a whole new world out there and I'm gonna get me some! :p

legallyblonde,

And yes babybee,
Shame on me. But I am not stuck. Just pride affected and a bit of hope gone away.

Well, knowing myself it will come back sooner than later

(hugs) to you all
Jocelyne
Aww no!! I meant its a shame FOR you not ON you. I'm so sorry! :)
Its a bit like saying Aww Bless! Just a Britism,

I ditto everything everyone else is saying.

A couple of years ago I had an internet relationship with someone from England for 3 years. During the last year I felt him becoming distant and ask if he was into us anymore and he kepted saying yes, yes...but all the time he was seeing someone else. Finally, I had enough, and said goodbye...we would go for weeks without chatting and I had a problem with that (or maybe its a blessing when you're intiution is biting you royally)...I wait on no one. 5 months later he IM me that he's getting married, could we still be friends...I told him to go and bite the weeney.

I never blocked him but I did delete him, so a year later he IM me again to ask if I was still angry and could we still be friends as he missed me so much.

It felt great to tell him to "kiss my royal rican ****". He wasn't truthful with me and since he lives in another country, no chance of running into him, I am so much more happier without him.

So be happy, know that this is the right thing for you at this time. Don't waste any more time on it than its needful...good things are just around the corner.

Paris

Good for you Faith for taking the initiative of getting the cards out on the table. But glad that you aren't in limbo now and can move upward and onward.

And about not looking for Mr. Right... that's the best approach. I find that the best things happen when we aren't looking.

5 months later he IM me that he's getting married, could we still be friends...I told him to go and bite the weeney.




LOL......... :D

((((Hug)))) for ya Faith.

Thanks to everyone that answer for such a warm support. It does make it that more easy :)
I wanted to add that your advices and stories havent gone unnoticed. thank you.
And as irparis sais 'he can go and bite the weeney' lol
MML
Jocelyne

I love watching women grow and get more strength.

It is so nice that when something doesn't work out as planned that you
A. Don't blame yourself
B. Move on after a little grieving (depending on the relationship of course).

Faith and others like you, you are all terrific! :)

I ditto everything everyone else is saying.

[QUOTE]I wait on no one. 5 months later he IM me that he's getting married, could we still be friends...I told him to go and bite the weeney.

Paris you have such a way of hitting things right on time.. I hadn't heard from H since before Memorial Day weekend.. He called 2 weeks ago to "see how life was treating me" I told him to F off.. I feel so much better now...

Faith - You will feel better too.. I know you probably already do.. Hang in there.. if nothing else know that I'm hanging there with ya too..

I love watching women grow and get more strength.

It is so nice that when something doesn't work out as planned that you
A. Don't blame yourself
B. Move on after a little grieving (depending on the relationship of course).

Faith and others like you, you are all terrific! :)

Thank you yellowrose. And so are you, terrific too :)

I am not blaming myself. I have been honest with him so its his choice and I sure am not dwelling on it. I think about him as I am sort of pissed and feel rejected but its something that will pass real quick.

I've learned to let go real fast.

[QUOTE=irparis]I ditto everything everyone else is saying.



Paris you have such a way of hitting things right on time.. I hadn't heard from H since before Memorial Day weekend.. He called 2 weeks ago to "see how life was treating me" I told him to F off.. I feel so much better now...

Faith - You will feel better too.. I know you probably already do.. Hang in there.. if nothing else know that I'm hanging there with ya too..

Thanks lucitrue and nice to meet you btw :)
I'm already feeling better no worry.
And I'm real glad you told your ex to F off ;)
I know its tough to do but you did the right thing. You deserve much better.
ML
Jocelyne

Joselyn, it sounds like you made the right decision, but I do feel badly that you had your feelings hurt. I am still curious about what his reasons were, because when I met my BF, my initial response to the question of whether we would ever meet was also an emphatic "No." The biggest of those reasons was that I was married at the time and my ex was absolutely opposed to the idea of meeting anyone from the internet. We were actually invited as a couple to go meet the group of people I gamed with, and he refused, I think because he was afraid. I remain leery about the internet, but having had a wonderul and successful experience there, I do think it is possible to use this tool to its full advantage. Don't give up hope just because so far you have met people who were less than honest with you. Sometimes the heart gets ahead of the head.

Joselyn, it sounds like you made the right decision, but I do feel badly that you had your feelings hurt. I am still curious about what his reasons were, because when I met my BF, my initial response to the question of whether we would ever meet was also an emphatic "No." The biggest of those reasons was that I was married at the time and my ex was absolutely opposed to the idea of meeting anyone from the internet. We were actually invited as a couple to go meet the group of people I gamed with, and he refused, I think because he was afraid. I remain leery about the internet, but having had a wonderul and successful experience there, I do think it is possible to use this tool to its full advantage. Don't give up hope just because so far you have met people who were less than honest with you. Sometimes the heart gets ahead of the head.

Rozie,
I dont think he is married. Well if he is he didnt tell me. The main 2 reasons he have me were the distance and our families. But during the year there was always a reason or reasons that things wouldnt work out on a long term basis yet he would had 'maybe'. Which was the reason I didnt totally gave up. But, it wasnt a relationship I was totally inmerged in. I kept a cold head most times. Just when we talked there was always this sort of 'connection'. Go figure.
Anyway, last time he said he was going in the army for 8 months. :confused:
Which totally came out of the blue. Never told me before. And keep in mind he told me AFTER I asked him the 'dreadful' question :rolleyes:
Just ways to get away imo. I'm doing fine now. Like I said in another message it was mostly my pride that was affected. And I felt like a total idiot to have trusted him or tried to trust him.
My heart always gets ahead of my head. But than my head kicks in and I use logic. And I can go between the head and the heart for awhile. I am silly.

Don't you think it's a negative when a guy (or a girl) gives reasons why they don't want to date, or has to seemingly persuade themselves be with someone? To me it sounds like manipulation: never forget, when someone creates a ton of confusion in a relationship, it gives them CONTROL! Their victim is so busy wondering what they did wrong, or what they could do right to make it all better, that the other person wins at the game, and that game isn't love in my book. Some people get off on yanking chains. Sorry ladies whenever I see this behavior I consider it bad news.

Ali

Originally posted by legallyblonde:

To me it sounds like manipulation: never forget, when someone creates a ton of confusion in a relationship, it gives them CONTROL! Their victim is so busy wondering what they did wrong, or what they could do right to make it all better, that the other person wins at the game, and that game isn't love in my book.

How true this is, legallyblonde!! :rolleyes:
I have never thought of it in this way but controlling it is.
I have often wondered what I did wrong in my relationship, when all the while, it wasn't something I did, but something that I was made to think I did.
My eyes have been opened and never will I allow this type of manipulation again.

It never fails, I come to this website and learn something new about me and continue to grow stronger every day. I wish I would have found you guys sooner so that some mistakes I made could have been avoided. This is a great site for all relationships not just the AGR. This is what originally brought me here but now I can't leave.

I can't wait to see what the posts of tomorrow bring and how much wiser I will become.......:)

Faith, I'm both sorry for you and proud of you. Sorry that you were disappointed and proud of you for taking the bull by the horns, finding out what his intentions were, and then moving on. Good for you!

You deserve the best.


(((((((((((((((((((Faith))))))))))))))))))))))))

Chatter it is taking the bull by the cojones! :) and putting them in the garbage disposal! jajajajaja

Chatter it is taking the bull by the cojones! :) and putting them in the garbage disposal! jajajajaja

ROFL

I can hear all the males wincing!

Faith, I'm both sorry for you and proud of you. Sorry that you were disappointed and proud of you for taking the bull by the horns, finding out what his intentions were, and then moving on. Good for you!

You deserve the best.


(((((((((((((((((((Faith))))))))))))))))))))))))


aaww.. thanks hon. And so do you!!!
BTW...I missed you girly
((((((((((((((chatter)))))))))))))))))))