In need of advice- please help

Hello everyone,

younguy here, you may remember me from my post about a month ago:http://www.agelesslove.com/boards/showthread.php?t=26769 Since then, my OW (47) and I (21) have been moving forward with our relationship very well in a lot of ways, making progress on a lot of issues. I know that I love her dearly. However, last night she asked me a very good question: what if I want kids in the future (which is not possible for her)? To give you more background, she has six wonderful daughters (two of whom are older than me!!), but two of whom are 11 and 7, and I would be raising them if we got married.

I know without a doubt that I would absolutely accept and love them as though they were my own. I've never been very keen on having my own children- in fact, given the state of world affairs, I'm not sure that's the best thing at the moment. Does anyone know of a similar situation or have advice? Would I really regret not having my own children seeing as I would have terrific step-daughters? I love my OW and don't want to lose her over this. But then there's also the issue of, am I too young to get married? I feel lost. I look forward to hearing from you, and thanks for all the great advice you give on ageless.com.

-younguy

Personally, even if there was no age gap, I think you are too young to marry. Is she pushing the marriage agenda? If not, why not just let things glide along for a while? I am in her age group and have been widowed for a few years. In the beginning of my being a widow, when pursuing new relationships, i always felt the marriage, marriage, marriage thing in the back of my mind. I finally figured out that i felt that way cause it was what i had always known. Relationships turn into marriage.....but now i realize that that does not always have to be the case.

You don't sound so sure and if she is marry me, marry me now then maybe that is not so good either. Even though you will be the girl's stepdad they will also need some time to get used to that idea and may take some flack from their friends. The longer they have to get used to the idea the better they will deal with it too. Take some time.

Hi christie,

Thanks very much for your input. No, she is not pushing marriage in any way whatsoever, that's all something that's coming from me. I do see "visions" of us in the future, being together and very very happy. But like you suggested, we are taking things slowly, one day at a time- still a lot to think about. Thanks again!

-younguy