HRT or No HRT and Relationships

I have always thought that one of the reasons for hormone therapy was to maintain an existing relationship because losing those hormones affected the way we feel (felt) about our mates. Anybody else?

I suppose that can be a reason to take HRT. I use the bioidentical hormone creams, seem to work very well.....except for my "bad attitude".

*whistle whistle whistle*

Not saying a word.





:p



You should change that to "bad*** attitude" - so much more positive! :D :D

Oh yes, isn't that what I said??:p BAD*** Attitude, that's me!:o

I think there's something to be said for your "theory." If I was in a relationship right now, I'd consider HRT just to maintain a healthier libido. But I'm not, so I ain't, so I don't care.

Having had a strong libido most of my life, it's a relief not to be ruled by that drive anymore.

Thanks for participating, Kat!

Oh yeah! Losing one's libido is NOT condusive to maintaining a relationship, that's for sure! I thought that my loss of libido was because I couldn't stand my husband any more.

Actually, I find it rather amazing that any couple can stay together through menopause without HRT! My whole attitude toward my then-husband changed dramatically and I've often wondered if HRT would have brought me back to "my old self" and if I'd still be married.

I also wonder if one should take HRT to create the desire for another relationship. Does it work that way?

[Edits in italics]

I went into perimenopause at age 38. By age 41, my estrogen level had flatlined, and I began hormone replacement therapy. I did HRT for 5 years, then stopped. I felt no appreciable difference in my libido before, during, or after HRT.

My primary reason for starting HRT was to get rid of the severe hot flashes and night sweats that were causing me such serious sleep deprivation that I was on the verge of going postal. Two days after starting HRT, my body heat was back to normal... it was like waking up from a nightmare. Then I got on with my life, while taking these drugs (Premarin and Progesterone).

I also bought into the whole youth sales-pitch of HRT and Premarin, especially... maintaining skin tone, moisture, femininity, etc. During the years that I took Premarin (1992-1997), it was the #1 most prescribed drug in the United States.

But after 5 years, I thought waidaminute...I don't want to take these drugs forever. I had also read about the source of Premarin and I was horrified. So I quit. The hot flashes returned briefly and mildly. I made other adjustments in healthier habits...balancing diet, exercise, sleep, and stress management... and the hot flashes disappeared forever.

Anyway... that period of HRT was from age 41 to 46. Now I'm 55... my health is good, skin is smooth, libido is strong, and so is the love in my life. Before he came along... well... for years nobody else had set me on fire the way he does.

My estrogen level is still flatlined, yet my libido is strong. Up to this current relationship, I remained sexually active before, during, and after menopause... but the real fire ignited with the love of this particular man. So in my case, and not implying that it's the same for anyone else... my libido seems not to be affected hormonally, but rather, emotionally.

Okay, Faith, THAT'S what I'm talking about - do you think the libido returned naturally or do you think the libido was gone because you weren't with the right person and when you found him, the libido was there? Were you in a relationship while you were going through the hot flashes and HRT, and if yes, do you think they affected your relationship? If yes, how?

Well, I had NO LIBIDO for almost 16 years and I was not even close to menapause! It was due to my stressed life of teaching and raising 3 kids by myself. I had thought, too, it could have been due to me falling out of love with my ex and the OH NO DONOT TOUCH ME thoughts. But it took me until age 52 to be "turned on" again due to a certain 24 year old (hence me coming here) even though I was amid mild hot flashes and not using HRT. I had previously worried about my lack of sex drive, but was too busy to do anything about it. BUT when it did return, I had told my gyno all about my past and present feelings, she gave me bc pills that contained a bit of estrogen and told me to be safe and ENJOY!!!! :p She also concurred that my low sex drive may have been due to stress, and added that since my kids were all raised and my job was stable, my mindest had changed, so I was able to put that switch back on!! And for me, I think she was right as during that time I really HAD NO TIME for any men in my life. I am no longer on the pill but take a mild estrogen pill call Vagifem for vaginal dryness that has since worked like a charm in that area, for I needed something to keep up with my renewed sex drive of four years! :D Hope this has added to the discussion!

I don't agree that this belongs in the Health Section any more than the thread about beating to death 50,000 dogs belongs in the Pet Section.

Now it will just die a slow, lonely death, and I really wanted to hear other women's ideas on this. :(

Chatters, HRT is a health related issue. It's not such the ghost town down here that you are thinking. It's been a busy section in recent months. Besides, I left a re-direct in Chit Chat so that people who are interested can follow your thread to where it's located.

I was on HRT for 5 years after my hysterectomy because my ovaries were removed at that time and I was only 42 years old. My MD felt it was important to try to prevent osteoporosis.

I went off the HRT about 2 yrs ago and I have to say that I have noticed a big difference in my libido. I have practically none now. But, then I don't know how much of that is due to stress, my weight, etc.

But, definitely, I would be willing to go back on HRT if necessary to increase my libido. It'd certainly be worth it. :p

Thanks Linda for sharing that about Vagifem. I hadn't heard of that medicine. I'm going to look that up because I'm experiencing that problem, too.

I dont take any HRT but I have the Mirena coil fitted a couple of years ago, for a particular problem and it seems to have increased my longings which I never thought would have been possible. Sometimes I despair of it.

Call me ignorant, country bumpkin, whatever but until now I didn't know what HRT was. I've been going through menopause for quite some time and I haven't lost any of my libido. If anything it is more intense. I am not one of those that care much for drugs or anything drug related.

I do however, believe in a good healthy diet, staying active, and drinking loads of pure water. I think drinking plenty of water is key to good bodily health at any age, but especially as we get older.

I have stayed away from the p.o. HRT, as I am so sensitive to any and all meds. So just use the creams. As Lynn says also, healthy diet and exercise, lots of water are key elements. I also use alot of soy supplements/milk, EFAs, energy complex (vit), DHEA and sam-e.

One doesn't have to have estrogen therapy to regain a lost libido. We also sometimes lose testosterone during peri-menopause. My Gyn prescribed Testred for me. I would take it 2 times a week (pill form). It not only increase my sexual desire, it gave me more energy.

As I said in another thread, the need for it went away as my desire or ability to enjoy sex has returned (this at age almost 60).

I DO BELIEVE that it is estrogen that makes a desire a mate so badly. Since I have come to the "other side", I do not have that desire at all. AND I AM SO GLAD!!!! :p

I DO BELIEVE that it is estrogen that makes a desire a mate so badly. Since I have come to the "other side", I do not have that desire at all. AND I AM SO GLAD!!!! :p

ya, ya......post menopause DOES have it's advantages.

Okay, Faith, THAT'S what I'm talking about - do you think the libido returned naturally or do you think the libido was gone because you weren't with the right person and when you found him, the libido was there? Were you in a relationship while you were going through the hot flashes and HRT, and if yes, do you think they affected your relationship? If yes, how?

Chatters, to answer your questions I'll go back to my previous post and add more to it, in italics, so everything remains within the context of that post.

Chatters, HRT is a health related issue. It's not such the ghost town down here that you are thinking. It's been a busy section in recent months. Besides, I left a re-direct in Chit Chat so that people who are interested can follow your thread to where it's located.

I went ahead a deleted that post, Whiterose. I was pouting when I posted, but you're right, the response has been excellent.

(*Note to self: do not post while pouting.)

Okay, Faith, THAT'S what I'm talking about - do you think the libido returned naturally or do you think the libido was gone because you weren't with the right person and when you found him, the libido was there? Were you in a relationship while you were going through the hot flashes and HRT, and if yes, do you think they affected your relationship? If yes, how?

Hey YOU......I'm going to address your post here with my experience, because I've been working most of today and I need a break!!! (Cleaning my office...huge undertaking!)

Let me just mention that I divorced at 40 and had a high libido during my marriage despite having a really bad marriage....sex was about the only commonality we had at the end, which defies the "norm" of bad relationships. I dated a lot for 3 years post divorce, then quit and was celibate for six years. During that time I basically didn't think about sex at all. I agree with Faith that for me, having no sex drive during that time was more emotional than hormonal.

Fast forward to 50 when I met my YM. By the time we had been dating for a year I was in full blown menopause: hot flashes, insomnia, mood swings, etc. But my libido was going strong....in fact, stronger than ever. It never waned for the next four years as long as I was with him. Now, seven months with no intimate relationship, I can say that I really don't think about sex much at all.

But if I was back in a relationship where I was emotionally invested, I know it would come back, like riding a bike.

So to answer your question, I think it's pretty individual, and trying to second guess your marriage/divorce based on hormone levels is probably fruitless. I'm sorry you're feeling crappy about it, if indeed you are.....:( But I'm probably second guessing YOU!
muah....kat

Okay, I don't have time right now to read all the responses to this thread, but:

I have been using an estrogen patch since my hysterectomy in 1996. HRT is not for everyone and especially not for those that may have breast cancer in their family history.

For me, after doing loads of research, I decided it was necessary. There are some good studies that show it does inhibit colon cancer (of which I do have a family history) . . . also, I have horrible hot flashes without it . . . and I also use an Estring which is a ring inserted into the vagina to deliver a small dose there. Even if you are not sexually active, this device should be considered. The lack of estrogen causes the vaginal wall to become very thin which, in turn, can cause some bladder and incontinence problems. This device will help thicken the walls and the body begins to produce the natural lubricants needed there.

It is a very personal choice, and one that should not be made without conducting a good amount of research. :)

As far as relationships go, I don't think the HRT would have any bearing on me one way or the other.

One thing's for sure, being a female is COMPLEX!!! I enjoyed and appreciate all of the posts - thanks! Too tired to respond right now, but you hit the things that I was thinking about and some I hadn't thought of! :cool:

The lack of estrogen causes the vaginal wall to become very thin which, in turn, can cause some bladder and incontinence problems.

In my case, none of these problems has occurred, nor loss of lubrication either, despite having no source of estrogen. Therefore I'm inclined to think that vaginal thinning, if any, is a very individual consideration, and not necessarily a consequence that every menopausal woman should expect.

It is a very personal choice, and one that should not be made without conducting a good amount of research. :)

Peachy, I definitely agree with that. :)



All in all, so many factors come into play for each individual woman... physiology, general health, emotional health... there's no overall advice about HRT and libido and relationships, except as Peachy says...
Do your research!

I thought menopause and perimenopause would be horrible, based on how much my mother complained during it.

I believe I went through perimenopause started around 44 or 45. I haven't had a period since the summer after I turned 48-3 years ago.

I had no sex drive until I met my b/f, which was about 8 months after last period--so I think it has to do with the person rather than the hormone:)

Since that time too (summer of 2003-end of periods) I've lost around 35 pounds, my skin has improved, and I feel much better. I never did the HRT, but did change my lifestyle a lot. Lots of water for the hot flashes, and tylenol PM if I had to get up in the morning. Luckily for me, I have a job where I only teach 2 or 3 days a week, so nights before class were the only ones I had to worry about sleep.

I did leave my husband duirng perimenopause (2001), but that had more to do with his temper, chronic unemployment, etc.

I do think that with age I've come to know that I certainly don't NEED a man, and I enjoy the time I spend with John as just that, fun time, time with someone I care about, without agonizing about what the future holds.

I can honestly say that I am the happiest and healthiest I have ever been in my life now-hurray for menopause, IMHO;)

just some random thoughts here

One more note here:

Because fat produces a certain amount of estrogen, those who are heavy may not have some of the symptoms (i.e. hot flashes) as severely as someone who is thin. I have friends who are able to eradicate the flashes with a .05 patch whereas I have to have a .1. My research (and my doctor confirmed) that was probably due to the fact that I have always been thin and therefore have no source of natural production.

Because fat produces a certain amount of estrogen, those who are heavy may not have some of the symptoms (i.e. hot flashes) as severely as someone who is thin.

I've read that, too. Yet in my case, my hot flashes occurred when I was quite heavy. Weight loss was part of the healthier choices I made when I stopped HRT. Now I'm slender, got no estrogen, got no hot flashes... go figure.

Again, I believe it's all a matter of many individual factors, and one must be wary of generalizatons, especially in regard to elective drug therapy.

One more thing :)

If you are taking hormones solely for hot flashes and no other reason and would like to not have to take them, my doctor says that Lexapro is very effective at getting rid of the hot flashes.

The SSRIs can be an alternative for the mood swings and other menopausal side effects. However, not everyone can take them due to their own side effects!

You are right about that Len. Ironically tho, my gastro doc had told me that Lexapro might relieve my IBS and now my gyno tells me it relieves hot flashes. I might just have to try it. Wouldn't it be great if I could cure two totally unrelated problems with one itty, bitty drug! :D

.

and here's the "yeah, but" peachy......most SSRI's, of which Lexapro is one, are often hard on the libido....causing disinterest. But you never know if that's going to be you until/unless you try.

Ironically tho, my gastro doc had told me that Lexapro might relieve my IBS and now my gyno tells me it relieves hot flashes. I might just have to try it. Wouldn't it be great if I could cure two totally unrelated problems with one itty, bitty drug

:eek:

But... but... according to Lexapro's own website:

"The most frequent side effects reported with Lexapro are nausea, insomnia, problems with ejaculation, somnolence, increased sweating, fatigue, decreased libido, and anorgasmia."


[Source: lexapro.com]

I'd still keep my Levsin around though, just in case!:)

This is true Kat. The gastro had me on Desipramine which is the same type of drug, but has the awful side effect of perpetual dry mouth (and I don't mean just dry, I mean parched. Couldn't even carry on a conversation without gum and forget a blowjob!! :eek: LOL, can I say that?? :confused: ) But it didn't affect libedo at all. After 5 years tho, I couldn't stand it anymore and weaned myself off of it. He says the Lexapro doesn't have that side effect, or if it does, not as bad as Despiramine. But the Lexapro could cause other side effects. Wouldn't know unless I tried it, as you say. :)

:eek:

But... but... according to Lexapro's own website:

"The most frequent side effects reported with Lexapro are nausea, insomnia, problems with ejaculation, somnolence, increased sweating, fatigue, decreased libido, and anorgasmia."


[Source: lexapro.com]

I understand Faith. But I also understand that if a million people took this drug and ONE person reported any of those as something that happened to them while taking the drug, they have to report it as a side effect. And we don't know if those that had any of those side effects were men or women and whether they also were doing other things or taking other things that could have caused the side effects.

I have gotten to the point that I NEVER read the information provided with medication . . . I take the medication as prescribed. Then if I have anything happen that I suspect might be caused by the medication, then I read the information to see if maybe that is listed. I do believe the power of suggestion is very strong in humans. :D

I'd still keep my Levsin around though, just in case!:)

LOL, Len . . . I do have a prescription for Levsin, but it has done very little for me :(

I had a major surgery last year, and it left me with IBS, which I had never had before. Was not pleasant. Levsin was a lifesaver for me.

Have you tried Zelnorm?

Len . . . unfortunately, I have the wrong side of IBS to use Zelnorm :(

Another drug that is commonly used for after-surgery IBS is Questran . .. which also has the added benefit of lowering cholesteral since this is its main use.

No, too many side effects to cholestyramine, especially common is bloating. And that is not what I wanted more of at the time. Levsin calmed the bowel spasms and made me sleepy, so worked well for me.