Advice on how to proceed

Im 43 y/o female- twice divorced with 1 teen who does not live with me. Im away in another state where I found work. In my spare time , I keep in shape, read and occasionally ,I date. I recently met a younger man (36) online (started last November by email and by June this year turned into a relationship, albeit sexual at first.) I've previously gone through the trials/tribulations of a live in relationship, two marriages (to a man older than me and the other my age), and childrearing. I know in my heart that I DONT want a live-in partner again.

We live about 25 miles from each other and due to work schedules just cant see each other more than once a week. When I do see him,however, I start having little pangs of emotions I find unsettling. I've told him he's very special to me but I also know he's looking for a wife and child and I've been out of that business for years now.

What to do? Back off now or keep at it and "enjoy the moment" as my friends say? I keep trying to picture the day I get the call saying "Hey, Im calling to say I cant see you anymore cuz I met Ms Right". I know it will hurt. We're honest with each other like that and are by no means exclusive now. I just wonder why this guy (not even physically the best looking guy Ive dated) has "invaded" my senses. I would be dishonest to say Im not trying to take advantage of the sex (which is regular and awesome). At my age it isnt getting any easier to come by. By the same token, I cant be emotionally spent at the end of it all. I never thought this sophomoric crap would ever happen to me again...

SOS

I would be dishonest to say Im not trying to take advantage of the sex (which is regular and awesome). At my age it isnt getting any easier to come by. By the same token, I cant be emotionally spent at the end of it all. I never thought this sophomoric crap would ever happen to me again...

I would go along with your friends and say "Enjoy the moment." Things are good right now, why fight it? You sound like someone who knows what they want and hopefully you have expressed this to him. So hang in there and see where this relationship takes you. Just because you fear he would leave you for someone who wants marriage and children, doesn't mean he will. If he felt that strongly about it, he wouldn't be spending his time with you. And as for a live-in partner, you might change your mind on that. Life is full of changes of heart! :)

As for being emotionally spent after sex.......well for me that would mean it was GREAT!

Well you've only started truly dating since June. This is only August. It's still pretty early in the game.

Your "YM" is 36, and if he's "looking for a wife and children" I honestly don't know how hard he is looking because most (but not all) men of his age that are looking for such things have either found them or figured out what kind of woman they really want and are pursuing that type.

My question to you is what are YOU looking for? Is it another commitment? Or are you interested in keeping it casual?

I just wonder why this guy (not even physically the best looking guy Ive dated) has "invaded" my senses. It is somewhat because you are having sex with him. When we have sex with a guy our body actually changes in the female sexual organs with EACH guy. Our emotions also become more bonded to the guy as well. This is just how "Mother Nature" works! :)

I would give it more time. Then you can determine whether this relationship will be what is right for you or not. Remember... if you avoid feeling pain, you can't feel the happiness either. It is not sophomoric, it is simply life.

quoting Yellowrose:
When we have sex with a guy our body actually changes in the female sexual organs with EACH guy


really?

Thanks to all for the replies and advice. It seems like y'all are saying go with flow...
Im glad to hear it because Id rather be with him than not.


To Rozie:
As for being emotionally spent after sex.......well for me that would mean it was GREAT!

That's not quite what I meant. By "emotionally spent" I mean, wasting my feelings on someone who isnt on the same page as me. The sex IS that much better because I feel something for this guy.

To Bubbleee:
Your "YM" is 36, and if he's "looking for a wife and children" I honestly don't know how hard he is looking because most (but not all) men of his age that are looking for such things have either found them or figured out what kind of woman they really want and are pursuing that type

I agree with you 100% on guys this age either already having what they want or being on a quest for it . FYI- He's been in a live-in relationship before for about 6 years. Didnt work out mostly due to the fact that they grew apart.

As for what my "intent" is, I suppose Im just as confused as he is. I'd like to think I could be exclusive again (I do alot of casual dating- it gets old). But at the same time my memories of exclusive (i.e. live-in) relationships are not so rosy.

We're both equal materially and intellectually. This is the first guy I've known who is "real" in every respect of the word and who makes me feel totally at ease- except for the fact that he doesnt feel as strongly as I do.


To GreeneyedGirl & Yellowrose:

quoting Yellowrose:

Quote:
When we have sex with a guy our body actually changes in the female sexual organs with EACH guy


Yes, I, like GEG, would like to know more about this theory?? LOL

Doh!! Lol. :D