Important Day, keep Amber in your thoughts/prayers

My 4 year old granddaughter is meeting with the counselor today to tell her what she told me about being molested.

Please pray & lift her spirit high so that she has the strength and clarity to tell them what happened.

I don't want her to ever have to see her abuser again!

(see parenting section, 'too awful for words' thread for more info)

Thank you... :(

My prayers are with little Amber. May God give her strength and protect her.

My thoughts are with her and with you.

Sending my positive thoughts to your little Amber, my prayers are with her and you today. May you both have strengh to to help each other in this hard moment.

Best wishes~

I will definatly keep her in my thoughts today!!

Prayers on the way!

Geez!! Is every kid in the world getting molested these days?!! Freakin' hell!! :mad: :(

Holy Mary, mother fair,
Filled with love for God,
Pray for us in all our needs.
Pray for us today.

Godbless you all.

So much love is going out to her today, so much reinforcement for the strength she'll need, if positive thoughts can make a difference, she'll do great.

Hugs for you, Amber, her Mom, and everyone in your family.

you're all in my thoughts.

Barbara, I am glad your daughter is taking Amber to a therapist. I hope my conversation wtih her helped a bit...

I continue to wish you all the wisdom and the light!

May GOD bless all your family.

Altar... you are a gem! Your ideas when we talked on the phone helped us immensely. I wish you were here so we could have you as Amber's advocate.

Unfortunately, Amber would not say anything about the abuse. One one hand she clearly told me and her Mother exactly what happened. Because she was so open & articulate, I hoped it would come out with therapist. They were taping it. But she just couldn't talk about it. :( That is a lot to expect from a 4 year old, I know.

We are just going to keep the doors locked and not let him see her. If he wants to take a chance on going to court because of no visitation then he can risk being prosecuted for sexual assault. :mad: But he really needs to go to JAIL! :(

*H*
i'm sorry to hear that amber didn't open up today about her abuse, but she DID to you and her mother...and i know, as amber does, that you will protect her to the end

Barbara, keep taking the child to therapy, and as Amber develops a relationship with the therapist and creates a bond, she will open up. It always happens like that, and like I told your daughter, I did not think Amber would share her story so rapidly.

I do not know if the counselor was a male or female but then if it was a man, much harder for her to open up, but regardless if she continues to see him/her in due time she will talk.

Keep up the good work!

We shall keep up the good prayers! :)

PS By the way, was CPS or a private therapist? Just wondering because a therapist should not be taping her now...

From what I know, most children that age will not verbalize molestation with strangers, but they will "act it out" in play therapy.

My thoughts are with you.

God bless little Amber and her sweet grandmother, too.

creates a bond, she will open up. It always happens like that, I wish that were always true. Amber's Mother was in therapy numerous times for years and she never would open up. The dolls did even more trauma to her.

Amber's therapist was a woman and a CPS woman was working behind the scenes with the video taping. They were all so wonderful. The place is call Patsy House and it is an advocacy center for the rights of children and youth. They do therapy as well as help in the conviction of the offender. It is a non profit organization here in Wichita Falls.

They said that all we can do at this point is to not let her Father take her or see her. If we go to trial over visitation, then we will testify as to why.

I asked Amber why she did not tell them what happened and she said she just didn't feel like talking about it. And then all of a sudden she says, "I lied, I just lied.... it didn't really happen". I know that she thinks if she says that, she will not have to tell anyone else. Of course she did not lie. No 4 year old can dream up the things that she told us about. :(

My 4 year old granddaughter is meeting with the counselor today to tell her what she told me about being molested.

Please pray & lift her spirit high so that she has the strength and clarity to tell them what happened.

I don't want her to ever have to see her abuser again!

(see parenting section, 'too awful for words' thread for more info)

Thank you... :(

Yellowrose,

I didn't read this thread until now.

My thoughts and prayers are with li'l Amber and also with you, her strong trusted grandma. I know you guys will successfully get through this ordeal together.

Best wishes!

I just wanted to say that I hope you can get through this and she will be okay.

This world is a sick, sick place soemtimes. :(

""" I asked Amber why she did not tell them what happened and she said she just didn't feel like talking about it. And then all of a sudden she says, "I lied, I just lied.... it didn't really happen". I know that she thinks if she says that, she will not have to tell anyone else. Of course she did not lie. No 4 year old can dream up the things that she told us about. """"

how overwhelming for amber, and now she just wants it all to go away, make believe it didn't happen.
i am so sorry for all of you...been such a hard road. my thoughts and prayers.

My prayers of cause are with you and Amber. Proably the reason she won't talk, is because everyone is making a big fuss about it and no one really knows how a 4 yr old prcesses information and preception. Just let her know that she can come to you and talk about it always.

I have never understood the fascination men have with young children. With so many women available to them, why children. Except that I try to remember that many of them were victims themselves with no means possibily of help and therapy so that they won't inflict such pain on others.

One can only pray for all parties concern and let vengenance be the Lord's. Its not going to be pretty since accountablity also plays a role in their choices.

But thank goodness, we've become more aware of these situations and can help the child moreso then say 20 years ago when no one would speak of it. Amber is young enough, to hopefully recover...with enough love and therapy, eventually she'll understand that this is in no way her fault. She still is and shall always be well loved of our Father in Heaven. As long as she knows that, dealing with this, will hopefully be less traumatic.

Find strength in yourself, love Amber...

Paris

Hi YR....just wanted to say from my experience of working in child and family team.....its best now to back off and let Amber process what has happened in a 4 year old way....whats she has seen is her disclosure cause issues and she is probably trying to normalise everything by pretending it didn't happen. She is probably also processing very mixed up emotions about her dad and also her mum.

There is lots of play therapy that can be used, sand play, acting out, making stories, rewriting narratives....a skilled therapist used to working with very young children has a bag of modalities that can ease stories out of kids and write them in to their experience while helping them move on from the abuse. the dolls are only one way, and we don't use them that often, we more likely go with ways of encouraging the child to put what happened into their own words.

It may be helpful for you and her mum to go to a counsellor too seeing as you have had to deal with this before with your own daughter and your daughter still is working on her own issues. I think you are so strong I would be so reactive and flipping out. It is a lot to deal with for sure and hopefully you have good support for you so you can continue to be there for Amber.

the truth will come out, give it time. One thing a perpetrator hates more than anything is to have their secret told, so you are right to keep amber from him. Who knows what crap he might put in her head. best to protect her, strengthen her and keep her safe. Hugs to you

the truth will come out, give it timeYes, the truth HAS come out. I just wish the perp would rot in jail. :mad:

It is strange... but in SOME way my daughter is acting like she is mad at ME! We both really do need counseling. I will check into it this week.

You know, I think little kids are beautiful. They are so natural and open. They can be even erotic in a strange way, but to take advantage of their innocence and put ones own imprint of their OWN SEXUALITY on them at that age is total soul rape!

These guys just don't understand. What we women don't get is that with at least 1 in 3 being molested is that there are more men than we care to acknowledge that have done this. Stepfathers are esp. vulnerable to do this as they have no "incest" barrier to stop them. Add a 6 pack of beer to cloud the thinking and ...... :rolleyes:

Sorry for the ranting... I am just spent. :(
Again again again!!!... everyone's support helps me make it another day....

*hugs*...can't she have a medical exam to prove that he did this so that he CAN go to jail and also for the sake of all the other little girls out there who he will DEFINITELY victimize if he is not taken off the streets?

My thoughts and prayers are with you Barb and Amber...

Amina that is the logical repsonse to gather proof but in therapy circles it is not considered in the best interests of the child due to it being an invasive procedure that causes more trauma for the child....it is better to get the small person to the point of being able to tell their story then if there is enough evidence to go "in camera" ie not face to face with the perpetrator but through a two way window.....small children do not lie, forensic proof will only back up to a cenrtain extent and may not be relevant if it is too far removed from the actual event....better to work on getting the little one strong and feeling as unviolated as possible....

don't worry I know where you are coming from and the only time I have wished to physically harm someone is seeing a perp walk away from court with that smirk on their face knowing they got away with it....at least these days we are more focussed on the needs of the child....you can't win em all....but there wer times had I had a gun I would gladly have used it rather than face the child after the fruitless ordeal of a court case they didn't win....even worse when you knew they had to go home to the unconvicted perp....at least Amber is spared that ordeal thanks to her nan

As a pediatrician I wish it was so clear cut Amina. If sexual abuse only involved penetration of a vagina by a penis, yes, it would be easy to prove. Unfortunately in the majority of cases it is more insideous and physical evidence doesn't really exist. Rather, it often boils down to the word of a young child against an adult; not so easy to get at this. It is one of the most difficult issues I deal with, because it usually comes to light in families where there is a lot of chaos and anger and its really hard to know just who to believe, when you are hearing 3 different stories from people you initially had no reason to mistrust. My heart goes out to this woman! Its a horrible position to be in; to know in your heart that something very wrong has occured and then having it all hinge on this sweet little person that you don't want to put through any more trauma.

In female children, the statistics I recall are that about 50% of the time, there will be no reliable physical evidence of sexual abuse. This is because there is such a proponderance of these acts being committed by family members. These are not cases of physically brutal rape.

yellowrose, you and your family are in my prayers. I pray for Amber and all the children who have been abused in some way.:(


~Michele

I've been thinking about you and Amber since your original thread on this ordeal Yellowrose. My thoughts and prayers are definitely with you as well. ((((hugs))))

Thank you.. Amber had a great day in Pre-K Montessori school today. She got a little bracelet for being good. Plus she played with Play dough and acted in a puppet show. She was the Skunk... the little stinker! :D

Too cute! :D