seneca43
08-19-2006, 01:11 PM
In my previous post I asked if I should continue in a relationship w/YM of 36 that's been going on (seriously) for a few months now. Basic issue is not the age gap of 7 years but life choices- Ive been married and have had a child(15). He never has and wants to.
I dont waste time- this is a fault of mine at times. I told him a few weeks ago that I felt very strongly about him (i.e. loved him). Not to scare him but to make him aware. If I were to die tomorrow, (morbid, I know, but the older you are the more you think about it!) at least he'd know I did.
While he took this well, he told me he couldn't tell me he felt "exactly" the same.
While this stung, it gave me a chance to take a step back and analyze the situation. In looking at it, I could see why he might not feel as strongly considering he wants to look for his "fairytale" wife and child.
I had not had a chance to tell him I cant /wont waste anymore time, either.
We had that " talk" last night . I told him I cant keep investing my feelings in him/us(and having sex with him) since I do love him. Im excluding others because I'm happy with him. He admitted to not having desires for anyone else but that he couldnt ask me , realistically, to change my life either. As much as we would like to try, we're both unsure if we can "go there" and be happy.
I was a bit lost/confused but glad for his honesty. I didnt know what to say. I love the time we spend with each other. Im not sure if we'll continue as we have been (casually) or not. We havent talked about that at all. Strangely, Im not sad or hurt. I guess Im just disappointed in my timing and my lack of discretion. I should have been more careful in allowing my feelings to develop for him.
Would love to hear from anyone in same situation on coping strategies. I have loads of other 'next in lines' to have "fun with" and see. That isnt the issue. Anyone dubious about the age gap thing? Anyone have any pearls of wisdom on how to avoid something like this going forward? Thanks:confused:
I dont waste time- this is a fault of mine at times. I told him a few weeks ago that I felt very strongly about him (i.e. loved him). Not to scare him but to make him aware. If I were to die tomorrow, (morbid, I know, but the older you are the more you think about it!) at least he'd know I did.
While he took this well, he told me he couldn't tell me he felt "exactly" the same.
While this stung, it gave me a chance to take a step back and analyze the situation. In looking at it, I could see why he might not feel as strongly considering he wants to look for his "fairytale" wife and child.
I had not had a chance to tell him I cant /wont waste anymore time, either.
We had that " talk" last night . I told him I cant keep investing my feelings in him/us(and having sex with him) since I do love him. Im excluding others because I'm happy with him. He admitted to not having desires for anyone else but that he couldnt ask me , realistically, to change my life either. As much as we would like to try, we're both unsure if we can "go there" and be happy.
I was a bit lost/confused but glad for his honesty. I didnt know what to say. I love the time we spend with each other. Im not sure if we'll continue as we have been (casually) or not. We havent talked about that at all. Strangely, Im not sad or hurt. I guess Im just disappointed in my timing and my lack of discretion. I should have been more careful in allowing my feelings to develop for him.
Would love to hear from anyone in same situation on coping strategies. I have loads of other 'next in lines' to have "fun with" and see. That isnt the issue. Anyone dubious about the age gap thing? Anyone have any pearls of wisdom on how to avoid something like this going forward? Thanks:confused: