wanna hear something funny?

but also kinda...well, WEIRD?

my ex hubby's gf calls/talks to....me! about HIM!

and basically, she's suspicious that he's cheating, she is concerned over how her opinion never seems to matter etc etc (the opinion thing, i told her...and it never will lol)

does she have NO friends???

she tells me that she talks to her mom about the things that she's come across that have got her wondering if he's messin around with...get this.....one of his sister's best friends from all the way back to high school. a woman he's known more than half his life.

risque emails, risque pics, texts and numerous emails.....and i'm like....what do you want ME to say????
i actually told her, "look, i like you alot, you're a sweetie, but you gotta understand that there's this part of me that wants to scream at you RUN AWAY but i'll try my hardest to just be here for ya, i'll do my best to be a friendly ear and someone you can dump on"

i mean, she's basically here in this city alone. she moved here to live with him right after Katrina, apparently Katrina affected her house? she lived further south, bout 3 hours, in our state. she has NO car, she drives his personal car and he drives the company car. she has no job. she has been saying forever now that she was going to take some classes and lo and behold she signed up! but ummm, not at the college....online. so she's STILL at home not making friends. personally, i think he's got her right where he wants her, but that's just me. the scenario is too familiar.

do ya'll have any INKLING of how awkward this makes me feel?
she actually called me and asked could she come over once when they got into it, she needed to talk. ok fine.
2 hours later (he'd locked her out of their bedroom and when he came out....) he called to see, not if she was ok, but where the heck HIS CAR was....eh?
i told him, "she's right here. wanna talk to her!?!"
his reply....no. just wanna know where my car is.

guys, this is by far the oddest situation i've ever been in lol
she'll call every few days to tell me some new "thing" she's found and ask me what i think.
what i think??? i just tell her, "as long as you're happy...well, there ya go."

and she talks to me for over an hour. heck fire, she's snuck to call me (like tonight, she slipped outside while he was upstairs on the comp playing a game, to tell me about 2 more emails she'd seen about this woman "wanting" and "needing" him!) about 3 times now. and when he's been out of town, it's about the same number of calls.

what in the blue asia am i supposed to do here? lmao it just boggles my mind.
i am SUPPOSED to be the evil ex-wife.
i know i'm nice, but DAMN!

i try to be nice, i don't have to work at it or anything, i just feel really .....weird.
this is a totally surreal situation lol

She didn't know his history? She didn't wonder why he no longer lived with his family? She believed his stories about how wicked you were? She's an idiot?

Was it a nice little thrill to find out that he's still the same jerk he was with you?

LOL Chatter.

Its happened to me too Greeneyes, but the contact was not anywhere near as frequent.... I RELISHED it, actually. After a while she put herself out of her own misery and we kinda lost contact.

You're a really beautiful person GEG...funny, kind, sensitive...you always know what to say too. I think this is why she's wanting to know you...she's met a great gal with something you share in common, and she adores you! The guy thing is just an excuse to befriend you:)

The same thing happened to me with my 1st husband's 2nd wife (the one he left me for). I eventually told her that I had already lived through that nightmare once... I didn't want to relive it again by talking to her, so I respectfully asked her to stop calling me. She did and I felt better. :)

btw, I didn't know I lived with your ex! :D

i mean, she's basically here in this city alone. she moved here to live with him right after Katrina, apparently Katrina affected her house?

har har kat, yes, twas YOU that prompted this woman to move here! i should give her YOUR phone number, heck, you've heard all the gory details thru me, you could prolly advise her better than i could LOL


chatter, "yes" to all your questions. yes yes yes!....ooooohhhh my, was it good for you? i need a ciggy now.

Bella, i actually BELIEVED that he had changed. no matter than i found out he did both his first wife and me the SAME way...i thought he had found the moro.....errr woman! for him and that it was just ME that brought out the snakes in his head.

btw....snakes on a plane.....dumbest movie title i've ever seen. :rolleyes:

I've been in your shoes too. The ex's wife would call me crying when they had gotten into a fight. The first couple times I felt bad for her, even though I had told her he was a big JERK (couldn't put the REAL words here on the forum).

They live in another state, so it wasn't like I could literally help her. I told her there was a reason we were divorced, and this here was the reason and to GET OUT.

But she always made excuses for him or defended him later, as I guess I did when I was married to him too.

In the end though, I had to just tell her that the reason I wasn't with him anymore was because I didn't want to deal with all that crap, and I didn't want to deal with all his crap through her either. I guess that was mean..but jeez.

It was VERY awkward...especially since the ex is none too fond of me, and would get upset every time she talked to me..which caused even stranger dynamics between the ex and I, if that is possible.

Thankfully now, I don't talk to either one of them other than to be the one who answers the phone when they call to talk to the kids. *does the happy dance*

He did call me a few weeks ago complaining because they are taking half his check now due to his being thousands and thousands of dollars behind on his child support though. He said he couldn't give 50% of everything he made to support these kids. I thought to myself that I think 99.9% of every dollar I have ever made has gone to support the kids, being I did it alone...so hey, I feel for ya buddy, NOT!

Ex-husbands..what would we do for entertainment if it wasn't for them?

I've never had my ex's new fling ask me for help. But once I did have an ex-boyfriend call me himself about problems he was having with his new thing. I tried so hard not to laugh and to be decent, but I agree with WhiteRose. There is no way I'm living through his BS again for his new relationship. Not that I wished him any ill will, but I do have some self-respect! He finally quit calling.

Best advice I ever heard:

For females: When you see your ex spending all his money on his new thang and he looks so happy and she looks so happy and you wonder what the what is going on and why he wasn't that good/nice to you, remember: When he closes the door and it's just the two of them, he's the same man with her that he was with you.

But if feels soooooooooooooo good when we hear it from the her!!!

Trace/GreenEyedGirl, Whiterose's advice is excellent - after the fun of hearing that he's the same creep with her that he was with you wears off, and AFTER you've asked her, "So, what EXACTLY made you think that this bum who left his wife and children was going to be your prince?" - tell her he's her problem now and you'd appreciate her not calling you anymore.

That IS a weird situation. I have a feeling you are ALOT nicer than me:)

Cripes. Something like that happened to me, too. My ex's wife used to call me to complain about him, and to ask "did he do this when he was with you?" Considering that she ran off with him when I was six months pregnant with our daughter, I kinda figured she got what she asked for, and not only that, deserved it. Those calls just gave me a kind of snicker, and you just gotta wonder, what is she thinking of???!!!!

5 months into my relationship with my Ex, his ex-wife called me to WARN me about him. Did I listen? Of course not...he'd told me all the horrible things she had done to him. We lived together for 3 years and then married for 6. All I can say is the last 3 years of our marriage proved her out. He did EXACTLY to me what he had done to her at 9-10 years into their relationship/marriage. And know what, he has moved on to #3 and is starting the same thing all over. Telling her how horrible I am, etc and so on. :rolleyes:

Perfect example of how age does NOT equal maturity (he's 45).

Would I call #3 and warn her? No. Why? She won't listen. And did I call #1 to talk to her once it all went south? No. Why? It was none of her business no matter how right she was. But then....that's me.

As far as Ex's calling, I have Ex-boyfriends call and talk all the time. LOL I am friends with some of them all the way from HS. I know weird right? All of them but 2 are married and I know their wives and everything.

This is an interesting thread. Of course, I tend to say that about so many. LOL I love hearing about other peoples lives and reading their opinions. Thanks for sharing everyone!

J.

actually this is a perfect example that age does not make a man mature or even nice or worthy of any relationship.

i was walked on also....terribly. my exhusband is now with a woman who was our client and she constantly was calling him when we were married with one question or another, he markets himself as a family man all over our community. he told me when we split if she ever gives him any crap like i supposedly did, she will be out the door also.

mind you he is 5'4" very unattractive, he was cute when i met him and as far as knowing his way around in the romance department, he sucked. i was so much heavier when i was with the jerk, i thought my sex life was something of the past.

in enters a man 20 years his junior who is a MAN. adam is such a stand up guy, i really feel sorry for the woman the ex is with because he is just alot about nothing, he was not a friend, a lousy lover and secretive....but boy could he play the game.

make you feel like it really was YOU with the problem.

i dunno, i feel bad for the women they end up with, remember we fell for the same lines they did and had to learn the hard way.

it sure does make life today so much sweeter though doesnt it?

My ex-husband was a lot like Kitty's. My mom said he had the little man syndrome. About 5'6" and he had a real macho name, but I'd rather not post it. He wasn't bad looking when we were young, and he could be very charming, but everything that went wrong was my fault, according to him. I'm not saying I was the perfect wife, no way. But if he lied, cheated, etc., it was because of something I said or did, or might say or do. I would catch him in lies, not because I was looking to, but it would just get found out. Again I quote my mom, "if you lie, you're gonna get caught". When I would ask him about it, he would tell me I was crazy and needed some "professional" help!!! He took no accountability for his own actions or behavior.

We separated 12/31/92. He married the woman he cheated with about 10 yrs ago and she does NOT like me. Heaven knows what lies he tells her. To this day he will sometimes call and tell me how much he regrets all, feels so guilty, if he could do it over he'd never leave, blah, blah, blah. He doesn't want me back. He just wants to hear me say I still want him. My and answer is to tell him we have 2children together. One is grown and married. If he needs to talk about the kids, great. Otherwise, we have nothing to talk about, and maybe he should get some "professional" help to get over it!!!

The other day my ex-husband had a long conversation with me about his new woman. As he kept speaking lots of alarm bells were ringing. The woman (according to him) is a very open and trusting woman who happens to be an illegal alien from Colombia (we got those too), running from her country due to a debt, if she could pay this debt she would feel so free and happy. She has a boy but wants to have a girl (with him). She happens to be a YW.

I would be ok with her but for the hint about her debt. And the fact that she is an illegal. To me this sounds like she wants a marriage of convenience.

Of course I had to keep my mouth zipped. I do not want him to think I am speaking out of jealousy.

my gal tash and i often say/said......he did the first wife this way, but HE left HER....they were together 13 years. she honestly BELIEVED she couldn't live without him. she's now happily married and has a 7 year old son with her husband.


he did me the same way, but i left HIM. i hung for about 8 years. and i am now happily in love with a man who is the epitome of everything i deserve...and MORE.


he'll do the 3rd one the same way.

and he's telling the future 3rd ex wife that he's SCARED of marriage???

bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

nah, he's just settin' that hook baby ;)