Update on Pregnancy...

To those of you who have been following my quest for knowledge regarding having a child at 39 years old, I have finally made a step towards my decision, although more information will be required before it becomes conclusive.

I have decided that there are enough positive stats out there to support having a child after 35 to give it a shot. I am going to visit a OB/GYN and get a professional opinion as to the viability of me having a successful pregnancy given my age, and the fact that I've had a couple of terminations in the past. If the Dr. says to go for it, then that's what I'm going to do.

I finally made peace with myself over the issue of having it FOR myself without depending on the help or support of my guy. I decided that even if a woman can't count on a man sticking around, she could still have a lovely home and a family with just herself and a child. I'm trying not to think about ALL of the pitfalls too damn much because I'll lose my nerve if I do. I know it may cramp my style in alot of ways, but I'm hoping that it will also be alot of fun and emotionally rewarding enough to make up for that.

So, to those of you who posted comments full of information, helpful suggestions, empathy and kindness, I thank you. You were instrumental in helping me understand something that has always been somewhat obscure for me. I hope I am doing the right thing.....I guess only time will tell!:)

where are those stats at i would like to share them with my sig other since she is 36 and thinking of not having anymore partially due to risks, i want to see positives.

I think you'll make a great mother, FortyishCutie...imagine everything you have to teach a child? You'll love it.

I'm happy that you're going through with it:) That makes me smile.

I am an example that I can work out for the best....

I am almost a 47 yrs old woman with a good profession, (I am an attorney and rather busy) self employed, with a 13 yrs old child and with an almost nonavailable father for her. She has a full life and I do too. We do things together, and individually. I run a house, all by myself, I run a business with a legal assistant, and my life is super involved and so I am. And life is great! So my advise to you is to be positive. It can be done regardless of all the struggles, just give lots of love to your kid and to yourself too!

Fourtyish, YOU made YOUR decision all by YOURSELF that is what is all about.

I wish you the best!

LOL! Figures :rolleyes: I just made a huge post on your other thread! LOL!

I was right there with ya, Fortyish. Check out my post! :D

http://www.agelesslove.com/boards/showthread.php?p=416757#post416757

LOL! Figures :rolleyes: I just made a huge post on your other thread! LOL!

I was right there with ya, Fortyish. Check out my post! :D

http://www.agelesslove.com/boards/showthread.php?p=416757#post416757

Responding via PM

I'm glad you made your decision. I must say I'm shocked though. It had started to sound like you were going the other way with it.

Your doctor will encourage you along I'm sure.... it's far more common having children in the 30's and 40's than you realise. There are many joys associated with being a parent (or step parent as in my case) and watching that little person develop is truly amazing.

I'm glad you made your decision. I must say I'm shocked though. It had started to sound like you were going the other way with it.

Your doctor will encourage you along I'm sure.... it's far more common having children in the 30's and 40's than you realise. There are many joys associated with being a parent (or step parent as in my case) and watching that little person develop is truly amazing.

You're shocked? Hell, I'M shocked! I can't believe I am really considering doing this. It is all going to depend on what the Dr. tells me, so I don't think it will really sink in until that bridge is crossed.

Good luck (again), Fortyish!

My Mom had me when she was 38 and I'm the best thing that every happened to her! :D

I m so very happy you're open to having your child!!!!!!! oh i also forgot to mention my GRANDMOTHER had my mom when she was forty!!!! (63 yrs ago) also remember there s so much the docs can do these days even with the baby still inside u!!! also tho it was hard my mom raised me basically by herself while putting herself thru law school (not the best senerio of course but i came out fine!!! ) good luck!!! :)

CONGRATS!!! Just out of curosity, what does your ym think??

I did mention that both my aunt and friend had a baby in their late 30s and are both doing great with their new bundles of joy. I forget to mention that my great grandmother had her last baby when she was 38 years old.... last of 18!!!! She started having babies at 18 and didn't stop till she was 38... all of them came out fine :-) 18 babies in 20 years... that almost like being pregnant for 20 years straight!!! So when you are having those bad pregnancy days... just remember my great grandmother ;)

CONGRATS!!! Just out of curosity, what does your ym think??

I did mention that both my aunt and friend had a baby in their late 30s and are both doing great with their new bundles of joy. I forget to mention that my great grandmother had her last baby when she was 38 years old.... last of 18!!!! She started having babies at 18 and didn't stop till she was 38... all of them came out fine :-) 18 babies in 20 years... that almost like being pregnant for 20 years straight!!! So when you are having those bad pregnancy days... just remember my great grandmother ;)

My YM is thrilled - although he has always said that he was okay with me having it, or not, now that I am actually considering moving forward he's chattering about how great it would be!

Congratulations! Please do keep us posted. And it's great your YM is getting interested too. Wow I hope the doc gives you the go-ahead.:cool:

I decided that even if a woman can't count on a man sticking around, she could still have a lovely home and a family with just herself and a child.

......and the people at AL! ;)

Gal, you most certainly can have a lovely family, just you and your child. But it sounds like you won't have to go it alone.

When I had my first child, I remember thinking that now at least I would have someone who loved me unconditionally, and to whom I could give the same. By the time I had him, I knew I would be raising him alone. I have never regretted that. Like Chatter said, he is the very best thing that ever happened to me. I honest to God cannot imagine my life without him....

You can do this. And shoot, we'll be there for you the whole way through.

Congrats on your little pea that's cookin'! :D

I agree that the best person for you to speak with right now is your doctor. If you both agree that you are able to handle the pregnancy then why not go for it!

During my pregnancy I met at least 10-15 women who were 35+ while waiting at my doctor's office. Most were first time mommies who just gushed about how they were both excited and scared. Some of them joined an online support group to talk about the fears/emotions/tests that came along with being 35+ and pregnant.

I actually asked my doctor at what age should I no longer consider getting pregnant. She said she felt completely comfortable with delivering a woman up to age 40 provided she was in good health and no major birth defects existed in the parent's family history. She also pointed out that the medical community only uses 35 as a guideline to when an increase in birth defects are noticed.

As I always say - My mother was proving them all wrong years ago when she had me! She was 41 when she delivered me in 1973 (all 10lbs. 2ozs. of me! OUCH!) At 13 it never occured to me that my mother was 54 because most my friend's moms couldn't even keep pace with mine, lol! So much for all those "standards"! ;)

Keep us posted on how things are going and remember to pamper yourself during this pregnancy!

Fate has one heck of a sense of humor doesn't it! :p