Dan_Shues
01-18-2003, 08:13 PM
Random Musings For a Saturday Night
Don't mind me...between being the computer geek I am, and my fantasy wrestling league...I often havea lot of things running through my head. Some of it makes sense, some of it doesn't. Some of it I think about at night as I lay, waiting to fall asleep. Other things...just as I'm working on a computer.
I find, anymore, that I get fed up and annoyed easily by people (male and female) that are my own age (23). It seems most of the time, I can't have an intelligent conversation unless the other party is like in thier late 20's or older. Maybe it's just the people I know? Or maybe it's a change inside of me and my attitude. I do not know, to be quite honest. I can have an intelligent/fun convo with someone who is the age I mentioned. However, if I have a convo with someone who is my age or slightly younger....I at times have a hard time resisting the urge to reach through my monitor and strangle them. *LOL*
It's wierd, how people don't understand how I could spend so much time with my dad, despite being 23. They feel I should be out partying...going to clubs. They feel I'm sheltered and a home body. In reality, it's neither. It's the fact that my father is, perhaps, my best friend as well. Our interests are just about exactly alike, save for one or two things. Despite not knowing much about it, he takes great interest when I explain when I'm doing on the computer or to my rig. Not to mention, he is my role model. And when I almost lost him in '98...it really opened my "inner eyes" up...to what he truly means to me and my life.
The next time I have to fix a computer because someone put pennies in a disk drive....*rips hair out*
I've gone through situations that, according to some people...I shouldn't have to go through. Having a grandparent die in my house and hearing about another grandparent's death on a police scanner are bad enough. At least to me. But...coming within 60 minutes of losing your father is heart wrenching. And of course there was my ex gf. She had Bi-Polar disorder....which is hard to understand when you've never been around someone with it before. But, to make matters worse...she was sexually abused as a child. And there were times, she would have flashbacks. Those two things combined...woudl at times drive her to hiding under her bedcovers...or cowering under a dining room table. Trying to talk to someone and calm them...or trying to help them....is an eye opener. And just about scares the "you know what" out of you. People say that, for me to stay with her during those times and even after...was foolish. I say it's love...and perhaps more importantly, friendship.
There is one thing, concerning said ex-gf...that, I really don't fully undestand about myself. It was, in most senses, a mutual and friendly parting of the ways. And we have emailed eachother a few times. But, every time I see her online on MSN Messenger....I fumble like hell to turn that thing off, so that I don't have to talk to her. I don't understand why I do this...because I still consider her a friend and miss her and want to talk to her. I know I stayed away for awhile, because there were issues between her and I that I needed to sort out. But...now? It's been well over a year and a half probably, since we parted. She's with someone else, so am I. Why I still have this problem and action...I suppose only God knows why. Well, him....and somewhere inside of me, I just have to unlock the secret.
So many people condemn me for liking (and finding fascinating) the D/s lifestyle. They think it's all about porno S & M. Yet, when I send them to a site to read what it's really about...they just ignore it and say, "Yeah, ok"...or some other ignorant response such as that. And yeah, this is something I think about. *LOL*
I'll close this out now. I'm still relatively new 'round these here parts. And, I don't want to bore everyone to tears. *LOL* These are just some random musings....as I sit here tonight. Hope everyone has a good night and a good weekend...
~Dan (The Certified Computer Nerd from Hell)
http://www.geocities.com/dan_reality/Dan2.txt
And yes, that's me....fooling around (innocent way, I'm saying)...in a photo booth in the mall. That is why the picture is not of good quality and...I look like a total putz. *LOL*
Don't mind me...between being the computer geek I am, and my fantasy wrestling league...I often havea lot of things running through my head. Some of it makes sense, some of it doesn't. Some of it I think about at night as I lay, waiting to fall asleep. Other things...just as I'm working on a computer.
I find, anymore, that I get fed up and annoyed easily by people (male and female) that are my own age (23). It seems most of the time, I can't have an intelligent conversation unless the other party is like in thier late 20's or older. Maybe it's just the people I know? Or maybe it's a change inside of me and my attitude. I do not know, to be quite honest. I can have an intelligent/fun convo with someone who is the age I mentioned. However, if I have a convo with someone who is my age or slightly younger....I at times have a hard time resisting the urge to reach through my monitor and strangle them. *LOL*
It's wierd, how people don't understand how I could spend so much time with my dad, despite being 23. They feel I should be out partying...going to clubs. They feel I'm sheltered and a home body. In reality, it's neither. It's the fact that my father is, perhaps, my best friend as well. Our interests are just about exactly alike, save for one or two things. Despite not knowing much about it, he takes great interest when I explain when I'm doing on the computer or to my rig. Not to mention, he is my role model. And when I almost lost him in '98...it really opened my "inner eyes" up...to what he truly means to me and my life.
The next time I have to fix a computer because someone put pennies in a disk drive....*rips hair out*
I've gone through situations that, according to some people...I shouldn't have to go through. Having a grandparent die in my house and hearing about another grandparent's death on a police scanner are bad enough. At least to me. But...coming within 60 minutes of losing your father is heart wrenching. And of course there was my ex gf. She had Bi-Polar disorder....which is hard to understand when you've never been around someone with it before. But, to make matters worse...she was sexually abused as a child. And there were times, she would have flashbacks. Those two things combined...woudl at times drive her to hiding under her bedcovers...or cowering under a dining room table. Trying to talk to someone and calm them...or trying to help them....is an eye opener. And just about scares the "you know what" out of you. People say that, for me to stay with her during those times and even after...was foolish. I say it's love...and perhaps more importantly, friendship.
There is one thing, concerning said ex-gf...that, I really don't fully undestand about myself. It was, in most senses, a mutual and friendly parting of the ways. And we have emailed eachother a few times. But, every time I see her online on MSN Messenger....I fumble like hell to turn that thing off, so that I don't have to talk to her. I don't understand why I do this...because I still consider her a friend and miss her and want to talk to her. I know I stayed away for awhile, because there were issues between her and I that I needed to sort out. But...now? It's been well over a year and a half probably, since we parted. She's with someone else, so am I. Why I still have this problem and action...I suppose only God knows why. Well, him....and somewhere inside of me, I just have to unlock the secret.
So many people condemn me for liking (and finding fascinating) the D/s lifestyle. They think it's all about porno S & M. Yet, when I send them to a site to read what it's really about...they just ignore it and say, "Yeah, ok"...or some other ignorant response such as that. And yeah, this is something I think about. *LOL*
I'll close this out now. I'm still relatively new 'round these here parts. And, I don't want to bore everyone to tears. *LOL* These are just some random musings....as I sit here tonight. Hope everyone has a good night and a good weekend...
~Dan (The Certified Computer Nerd from Hell)
http://www.geocities.com/dan_reality/Dan2.txt
And yes, that's me....fooling around (innocent way, I'm saying)...in a photo booth in the mall. That is why the picture is not of good quality and...I look like a total putz. *LOL*