what is considered "long term"?

How long would a couple have to be together before it's considered "long term?"

I would say a relationship hitting the 2 year month mark and beyond would be considered long term. These days with so many relationships so fast and fleeting, 2 years is quite an impressive time to be with someone.

...but isn't; just one with nearly the same title as one that was in this section a while back. I'm glad you posted this; the last time someone posed this question, there seemed to be differing oppinions. I, however, am in agreement with you. Two years is definitely long term. I voted a year to 18 months. If you're still together after a year, its a good bet it's going to last a while.

Milady and I are hitting the three year mark here fairly soon, so needless to say, I am very happy!!!

http://www.agelesslove.com/boards/showthread.php?t=22285&highlight=long+term

http://www.agelesslove.com/boards/showthread.php?t=25990&highlight=long+term

a couple of links :)

i voted 1 year to 18 months.......i think once you make a year, you kinda know if you WANT to be in it.

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V : we're almost at 8 months!! lol but we've known eah other a year next month.

Over 3 years now for us and 4 next April... whew time flies when you are having fun ;)

Yup, I think you need at least a year before you REALLY get to know someone and can tell whether you want to be in it for the long haul.

And we've past that mark, so I can now very happily say we are long term. Never been happier, and it just keeps getting better! :D

Over 3 years now for us and 4 next April... whew time flies when you are having fun ;)

Same for us (well, we met in March but that's close enough) ;)

Anyway, I'd say that when we were in our earlier stages, I would have said "one year" but, now that our second anniversary is rapidly approaching, I'd say it takes at least two years in a relationship to really know the person you're with! :p

I chose 1 year to 18 Months.....

I've been with my husband for 5 years......Married for 3

Research shows that if a couple makes it past the 4 month mark, they have a good chance of making it long term. That is why most relationships last only 3 months on average - strange huh? What is it about the 4 month mark?

LAgirl... I did not know there was research done on that three month rule! I just knew it had to be an "unwritten" one somewhere, as it has happened to me TOOO many times! I tend to look at relationships now like weekends: Friday we are all dressed up and meet someone new and exciting and stay up almost the whole night taking, finding out that we are almost perfect for each other and maybe even have some "nookie" as the chemistry is definitely there (month one). Saturday we take a quick nap, sing in the shower and get ready for another wonderful evening; it is great, but it does not last as long as the "newness" and has waned abit, even though there is still an intense attraction (month two). Sunday rolls around and we begin to think about getting some housework done finally or even plan for the next work day. We call each other, go for a quick bite perhaps, and then maybe call or chat abit before we go to bed at a decent hour (month three). Monday we sit and think about what had happened to us in this whirlwind of a weekend and wonder, is this what I really want? We may call once and that is it. OR in some cases it is like WHAT the heck was that...hence no more communication at all (month four) :mad:


LOL OH.... I did not answer the OP's original question! TO me long term means a year or more.... and face to face moreso, as if it has been spotty, I think more time is needed.
Regards...

I think there is a difference between internet relationships and real life. For internet relationships 2 months is a long time. Most internet relationships last only a few weeks. For real life I marked 3 years and more. We will be having our 3rd year anniversary this November and it does not feel long term at all.

I put +3 years. But taking OL/RL into consideration as many of our relationships start, I would say +3 years total, with at least 1+ year in RL time.

It allows the honeymoon phase to pass. Me and my fiance have been together almost 2 years and the "new love" feel is starting to wear off. Those cute ticks are now irritable and I reevaluate my decision to be with him at times. :rolleyes:

But he's still the one. Lucky for him. :eek: ;)

I voted 6 months to one year, mainly because my longest relationship didn't quite reach the one year mark and I'd hate to have to say I've never been in a long-term relationship.

The other relationships were all between 3 weeks and 3 months. So didn't pass the 4 months mark (makes sense). Was convinced most people have had long-term (i.e. yearS) relationships and marriages by the time they reach my age. Most of my friends have.

I voted 3 years and beyond, because I think it takes at least that long for the initial honeymoon to wear off and people to take off the rose-tinted glasses and start seeing eachother's intolerable flaws! :D

It's when you start annoying the living Hell out of eachother and still really want to be together because of the overall good feelings you both get being together, and work together as a team to minimize annoying the living Hell out of eachother, that the long-term dream can really become a reality.

If you are in a relationship longer than your oldest wearable peice of clothing than it is probably long term, at least to you. And I don't mean wearable in public, I mean the buttons still close or the zipper still zips. Just because you wouldn't be caught dead wearing it in public doesn't mean its not wearable. I don't however mean that dustrag that used to be a shirt you wore, it has to be in a drawer or hanging in your closet. I have found stuff (that I still wear) going back to 1994......:eek:

Interesting question. I checked 3 years or more, but I'm not sure if I can consider us "long-term" yet. We've known each other for 5 years, have been married for 4. It still feels like newlyweds! Really long-term to me sounds more like double digits. Working on that.

Research shows that if a couple makes it past the 4 month mark, they have a good chance of making it long term. That is why most relationships last only 3 months on average - strange huh? What is it about the 4 month mark?
And here I thought the magic number was 7 years! Or was that only for marriages? Is there a difference? Maybe 4 months is a long-term relationship and 7 years is a long-term marriage. Who knows...

Back in the day I could answer this easily. Long term was if we did it more than once.

Now I don't know what it is. We have been together about 3 1/2 years. I guess that is fairly long. :confused:

It's when you start annoying the living Hell out of eachother and still really want to be together because of the overall good feelings you both get being together, and work together as a team to minimize annoying the living Hell out of each other, that the long-term dream can really become a reality.

Well said, Polly, and truer than most of us would like to admit, lol.

LOL Polly...isn't that the truth!

And TH, I would say 3-1/2 years is definitely long term, and she certainly is a beautiful woman (if that is her there in the picture).

I think long-term is a state of mind. You have people who see each other for years, but it's still a casual relationship and they really don't have a plan in mind to progress any further. Then you have people who have only been together a few months who decide to commit to the relationship and stick in there for the long haul.

J and I will have been "dating" (we live together and all that good stuff, so dating seems like a strange word for it) 6 years in January. Six years! I can't believe it.

Anyway, since he has been living with me for over a year now, and has officially integrated himself into my home life, seen me at my worst and best, dealt with my children, etc, and he's still here when I wake up in the morning, I guess we are long term! :)

Yesterday was our three year anniversary!!!:)!!! We we had a very nice outing of dinner and a movie along with some great conversation about the relationship! Funny; this is the longest I've ever dated anyone without marrying them. I dated my ex for two years and then we married. Milady thinks that three years really isn't that long, given what each of us has been through. Still, I call three years long term.

Three years, and looking forward to many many more!!!

I would say lifelong, LTR is not something which is just meant to fulfill your body desires, its is a commitment to be there for each other when your partner needs you most.

I selected 1 year to 18 months, for reasons similar to GEG's.

After a year or so, you're in it because you want to be.

I'm definitely referring to a year+ in an exclusive relationship where you are seeing each other on a regular basis (not just here and there) and your lives are overlapping - meaning, you're meeting each other's friends, co-workers and probably family.


Hmm, here's the funny part: If a guy my age tells me that the longest relationship that he's ever had was something like a year, I might see a red flag. Mixed in among longer relationships, I would consider it part of the long-term grouping.

Hmm, I wonder why this distinction? Hmm, I have words trying to run around my head and out my fingertips on this one but my brain cells are too tired to articulate them very clearly.

I submitt for 3 years @ least.

Yesterday was our three year anniversary!!!:)!!! We we had a very nice outing of dinner and a movie along with some great conversation about the relationship! Funny; this is the longest I've ever dated anyone without marrying them. I dated my ex for two years and then we married. Milady thinks that three years really isn't that long, given what each of us has been through. Still, I call three years long term.

Three years, and looking forward to many many more!!!

I was involved with many 3-6 month relationships prior to meeting my YM, and I can tell you with confidence that these were not long-term because they fizzled away from my memory as fast as they started .

Once I passed that mark the relationship usually persevered for much longer ( in my case one stayed for almost 8 years, another for almost 4 and one for 2 years; the latter is considered long term because of a child ). These were the ones I had fonder memories of.

Bottom line : I know I will be long term in my relationship with my YM once I pass the 3 year mark. Anything less than that is considered a fling .

That was Just my humble opinion.

Bottom line : I know I will be long term in my relationship with my YM once I pass the 3 year mark. Anything less than that is considered a fling .

That was Just my humble opinion.


I agree that we have different opinions on what is considered long term...

My hubby and I were engaged after the first year... we definatly didn't have a "fling" It was a serious relationship from be beginning... I think that depends on the relationship... a Fling is less serious.. and I believe people get much more serious before 3 years or else you probably wouldn't even get to 3 years in the first place :) I think that depends on the individuals involved

anything over 2 years I would say is long term..

I say all the life is long term. One life not enough to live with loved one.

Research shows that if a couple makes it past the 4 month mark, they have a good chance of making it long term. That is why most relationships last only 3 months on average - strange huh? What is it about the 4 month mark?

Hmm.. interesting. I just posted on another thread tonight that the 3-month mark is when I can start to really see a person's "true colors".

I'm happy to report that I'm starting into the 4 month mark with my VYM, and so far, it's better than ever. I am still learning about him, but every new thing I learn is another nice thing about him, so I'm feeling more and more confident about our relationship.

I vote for more than 3 years as "long term" though. I don't know how to really answer it. My parents are almost married 50 years now. Everyone in my large extended family have been married for many, many, many, many years. My grandparents were married more than 50 years. In my religious community, there is not a lot of divorce (except in the US where the rate is higher). I myself have been married twice, and in relationships before the marriages - all of which were more than a year or two. My first marriage lasted 10 years, and my second marriage, 7 years. I didn't think either of those were long term. But I learned that in the state of California, a long term marriage is 10 years or more, with most marriages ending by year 7.

Even though I've been in two marriages before, I still do believe in the idea that a marriage can and should last a very very long time.

If you are in a relationship longer than your oldest wearable peice of clothing than it is probably long term, at least to you. And I don't mean wearable in public, I mean the buttons still close or the zipper still zips. Just because you wouldn't be caught dead wearing it in public doesn't mean its not wearable. I don't however mean that dustrag that used to be a shirt you wore, it has to be in a drawer or hanging in your closet. I have found stuff (that I still wear) going back to 1994......:eek:

LOL... I have stuff that I still WANT to wear from 20 years ago or more. Some stuff almost that old I do still wear. I guess my relationship won't be long term until it's at least 20 years old? :)

LOL... I have stuff that I still WANT to wear from 20 years ago or more. Some stuff almost that old I do still wear. I guess my relationship won't be long term until it's at least 20 years old? :)

LOL! Totally off topic but this comment reminds me of that TLC commercial for those life trophies or whatever they're called. The woman is playing some new wave 1980s music as she puts on her yellow and black suit with the ginormous shoulder pads and, when she gets to work, the security guard asks her where she parked her Delorean.

:D

Just my opinion, but anything over 3 years is long term.