When did you KNOW?

OK. I'm still a newbie here, and maybe some version of this thread is buried somewhere and I'm too lazy to find it, but...my intellectual curiosity is aroused. So here's what I'm wondering.

It's an open question, for both men and women.

For the men: how old are you now, and when did you know that you were attracted to older women? Was it a gradual process? Did you "always know?" Was there some defining event in the middle of a gray area that made you realize that, yup, older women were just sexier? Did anyone else around you (friends, family, etc.) pick up on your attraction before you did? Once you figured it out, how did you deal with your newfound knowledge? How long did it take you to do something about the situation? Or have you not yet done so?

Women, same questions, but substitute "younger men" for "older women."

That's all. I'll be interested to see if this gets any response. I'll post my own answers if it does.

I don't consider myself attracted to older women. I really don't. But, I know that I am attractied to MY woman. That is all. Not to say that there aren't attractive older women floating around this world, I just don't have myself set upon a certain group. The intellictual side of a woman is more important to me than the chronological side.

With that said, I really cannot answer your question in a way that would probably satisfy you, but then again you may find satisfaction in my above statement. Thats it for me

Steve

Ok I'll step up to the line an state my case :)

I have the chronological age of 46 :) An I guess one could say that I have been attracted to younger guys since I was 25, being as my 2nd husband was 6 years younger (so was my 3rd!!) ..........

Although it would be fairer to say that I am attracted to guys that have the same interests, likes, dislikes etc ......... It isn't so much an age thing as an outlook/mindset thing ......

On a side note, all my really close female friends r at least 10 years younger too ........

....I've know it for a long time...I can't think of an exact "moment" when it all came together, but I do remember from a very young age looking "up" rather than "side to side"....when I was in elementary and Junior high, I always got on with older kids and the friends of my aunts - I was always the youngest in most social situations.....

The first "attraction" was in college - I had the chance to act on what I had been feeling for years. I wasn't comfortable at first with it - she was 38 and I was 23 - she approached me on a flight and gave me her card. I was scarred to call her - not knowing how to act really, but I did, and we dated for some time. I can remember feeling excited that an OW would find me attractive - and simultaneously, a bit nervous about what others would think. Our first date was for coffee near my college. I can remember classmates of mine walking past me and doing a little double takes. Our second date took us to a movie followed by diner and drinks a bit farther from my college town. Again, as we walked past the bar to our table, men at the bar were checking her out (she was a very attractive woman...) and then double taking on me - The Kid! This was a bit hard to handle for me - but now that I look back, she was fine with it all.

...sorry to ramble on, but this was the first time I dated an OW and the first time I realized my attraction. From then on, the "barrier" had been crossed and I knew a bit more what to expect from my own fears about how others would perceive us. The older I've gotten, the less this has been an issue - I think less about the age difference and more about HER as a woman that I find attractive. Now, it's more about just the two of us and less about our age gap.

I never had any attraction to younger men. I still really don't.

I just happened to meet this guy that happened to be 16 yrears younger than me. If anything happens to us I wouldn't likely go out and look for another guy younger than me.

A couple of times in the middle of some huge break up of ours at the beginning - I actually posted in like matchcom and the age group I put was never younger guys. It was more like 43-53 - since I am 48.

Yep, it just happened. Don't think I'd like to have it happen again though - really. I mean I hope we stay together forever. But if not, I don't want to go through the self analysis of wrinkles, sags, etc's with a younger guy.

But then again, if he happens to come along I wouldn't run away....

Cindy

Originally posted by blondie


PS Editing, SHEWOLF, I believe you are getting better looking with each photo!!! :)

Awwwwwwwww I am blushing now :D ..... Thank u Blondie :) ............. the last couple of photo's have been taken on the day they were posted :)

Ive always liked older women. My first kiss was 5 years older than me, and it progressed from there. Plus, people have always thought I was much older than I am, so it was never too big of a deal. Hell, I was 17 the last time I dated a woman under 30 yrs old.
TC

I was never attracted to younger men, always older ones. Unfortunately, they all turned out to be assholes!

I guess by the time I met Robin, I had resigned myself to a life of singledom, and wasn't even looking to meet anyone, really. I did have a crush on my single neighbor down the street, but he was an asshole too.

Right before I met Robin, I was at a local restaurant/bar, and the very gorgeous busboy (23) had gotten off of work and asked me if he could buy me a drink. He looked like a cross between James Dean and Brad Pitt! Of course I accepted his offer. He was my first younger man. It was purely physical, he was just so hot! Anyway, we ended up dating for a couple of months, but I couldn't get past his being dumber than a box of rocks, so I broke things off and decided younger men truly weren't an option for me.

The very next week I met Robin. He really, literally had me at "Hello." It wasn't his gorgeous green eyes or long, dark hair or tight butt. It was how wise he seemed and how confident he was with himself. It was the love he felt for his son, and how proud he was to be a father. It was the questions he had about the universe, and the answers he had to my questions. It was feeling like I'd known him forever, after the first night we met. It was feeling like I had found what I was looking for, even though I wasn't actively looking.

Being in an OW/YM relationship isn't all it's cracked up to be, though. The woman has to be extremely secure to be able to face the competition (20-somethings) with no problem. It's also hard to deal with a guy who thinks he knows about something when he doesn't, but doesn't want to listen to you, even if you're experienced and know what you're talking about. Usually, YM don't have a pot to piss in, so financially it's hard. If I had to do this over again, I truly don't know that I'd purposefully seek a YM. I think I would just not look at age at all (within reason...he'd have to be between 25 and 50). I'd look more closely at the person, and what we had to offer eachother.

I guess in the end, Robin did open my mind up to the fact that I can be with a YM or an OM. I'm not glued to just OM.

Well, I've always been more attracted to younger guys, so I dont seem to come from the same mold as the rest of the women lol. Even as a senior in high school, several of my guy friends were in 9th and 10th grade. (Hey in high school, you cant have much of an age gap lol) My ex was in the grade behind me, which is no gap at all, but he was younger. And I've just always been much more attracted to the younger ones in general. No specific reasons, just my own personal preference, like some people prefer tall leggy brunettes :p I find men my age and older to be just that - old!!! They just dont seem to possess the romantic qualities and sweetness and understanding and passion that ym do. OK, thats my opinion - I only like the young guys!!!

Southerngal

In 1990 I married a lady that was 39 and I was 24. We moved to South Florida and 8 years later we got a divorce (I stopped drinking and she continued. - She lost her "drinking buddy")

None the less, a few years later, I fell for a lady 9 years older than me. Right now I am 37 and she is 46. She is the youngest lady I have dated since I was 22. Everyone else had been atleast 15 years older than me.

As much as have tried, I am not attracted to women my age and younger. When I try talking to a younger woman, it just does not seem natural. There is a peace and comfort when I converse with an OW.

My eye's and heart always get that extra thump when I see an OW. Never happens with YW.

Anyway, enough of my babble.

For me, with OM a lot of them are more concerned with looks and how it makes them look, than they are digging into a conversation and trying to find out what you are about (& vice versa). The energy between myself and a younger guy just feels more real, you know?

With the younger guys, they love good looking women, but are not as concerned with you gaining a pound or two. My exhusband & I got back together a few years ago. I was embarassed about my "tummy". He would lovingly put his head there and say so sweetly "I love that tummy, that is where our daughter came from". You know what an older guy said? "Is there nothing that can be done about stretch marks?"

If you look at the personals (match.com) the older men are, the younger the woman they want... I am not kidding... go check it out. I.E. Age 70 male looking for 32 to 55 woman. They will even say "older women look too tired". Yes, they are tired from catering to your sorry a__!

Anyway, I am open. It's based on the chemistry, personality, and integrity.. :cool:

OCTOBER 2002.

LOL.

that's when I realzied it. Of course looking back I've dated younger men before but never more than 6 years and I never considered that much of a difference. I've dated older men too some as much as 12.

In October a YM age 25 convinced me to just try it. He liked older women. I tried it, I liked it. We didn't work out, nor did the second YM. Now I am with a man 11 yrs my junior and I like it. I like it.

I'm not sure i would be so keen to go back to dating men my age or older any longer.

Another vote for - I'm not. And I've tested this theory by hanging around with some of my 23 year old boyfriend's friends. Truth is, they're kids to me and I didn't want 'em. I just want my guy.

Dragged into this thing - kicking and screaming all the way :>

Mine is plain and simple.....never ever thought of dating ym until I met this one........we just didn't want to live without eachother, got married and age just wasn't an issue to me anymore. After all we brought 2 beautiful children into this world, now their our issue. We are 8 years apart so really it don't show much. I get looks when I go places with my oldest son and his younger brother and sister, so I know what the ladies here go thru who are in a bigger age gap relationship, ooooops I got off track LOL, but like I said it is plain and simple.....love for my part .

For me it's kind of an odd question? I'm pretty sure it's other things than age that attracts people to each other.

I'm 40 and had experienced two long serious relations. One that ended rather unhappy after 5 years with him cheating on me. We were the same age. And my last relation was a wonderful one that ended after 14 year and we are still the very best friends. He was older than me.

The circumstance that I found myself interested in a younger man is mostly just because I feel mentally connected to this man. Not because I ask him how old he was and then became interested. But saying that isn't the same to say I think age doesn't matter.

I think age adds a lot of other question than a relation between people in the same age does. But suppose those things are things that could be worked out if both partners are willing to do sacrifices and to work on the relation.

The best,
Anna

I feel the same as Lorena, I was not looking to date younger men.
So, I suppose my answer would be.....I knew it was THIS man, whether he was young, older, tall, short, rich or poor...No matter what package he would have come in, it was THIS man. :)

Have always dated older men and married and OM. After that ended was not looking for anyone!! Stumbled on ym through work and actually spent a good deal of time denying my feelings because of his age (I'm 47 he is 28). There was an incredible physical attraction to him that I couldn't/didn't want to ignore (but probably should have now in hind site) but was also really attracted to and drawn into the younger perspective on life that was for me so appealing. Especially because older men are so set in their ways and expect things done a certain way instead of being open to new ideas or thoughts.

Now that it has ended I don't know that i would seek out a ym-there is an awful lot of self analysis and doubt that that type of relationship brings up, but wouldn't run from it or spend time denying a relationship because of age gap. did that really answer the question I think not.

In the past , I had dated a man 6 years older and rarely, older men. Then, I was not looking specifically for a younger man, but one 26 years old contacted me through a dating website. I refused at first, thinking that it would never work with that much difference. He kept pursuing me and I decided to do, just dinner. The first time that I saw him, I was lost in his baby blue eyes. His shy ways, but persistence, in spite of the nervousness he felt, melted my heart. I may be much older, but in his mind, I was a beautiful woman and he was intent on pursuing me. He had already made up his mind with my voice and pictures, that I must be the one for him. I was the peridime, the thing that made his random life, make sense.
It has been three months now and I have come to feel that he is the answer that has made my life make sense. We come from different cultures and economical backgrounds as well. I know that there may be many challenges in the future, but for now, he makes my heart sing. My children take issue with him, because they are afraid they may loose the family fortune to a young husband , if something happens to me. He has been less fortunate in life than me and appreciates the simple things. He makes me thankful for all of the things I once took for granted. Most of my neighbors stare, but some of them have actually said how lucky I was and the women are glad to see the trend reversing. He is absolutely beautiful, and more disciplined than any of the older men I have dated. He is not the typical party guy, in fact I am more of the partier, than he is.
I always liked beautiful people, younger or older, sometimes beautiful on the outside, sometimes on the inside.
My younger man said that he always had a fettish for older women , since he was in his teens, and by the way has only had one relationship with a younger woman, a one night stand.
I do think that love and connection are more important than age barriers as long as they are of legal age.