Don't know where do i go from here

This started over 2 years ago. My OW is 7 years elder to me and happens to be my best (a girl) friends sisters. We were absolutely smitten and ours was a relationship that grew with time. I come from a very conventional family and the only son of my parents. I respect their feelings and sentiments to the fact that they have toiled all through to bring me up and I owe everything to them to what i am today. For about 1 1/2 yrs we dated...knowing that I can't commit to her cause my parents won't ever accept her..and I told her the facts right from day 1. We tried to be friends for months harbouring our feelings for each other....but one fine day couldn't take the pain anymore. She said she wants to continue irrespective we live together or not. while i continued having guilt deep within my heart. For the time i spent with her were the best days of my life. We had very strong physical attraction which was completely natural and got to bed once...but not all the way. I love her deeply and all the incidents that happened between us were natural and both of us never manipulated any thing that were happening..We just went on with the flow.
One fine day I told my parents everything about her. They were heartbroken and told me I have to make a choice. I have never hurt my parents so much and spent sleepless night after that. One side I love this lady deeply and cant image anyone besides her and on the other had I loved and respected my parents whom i cannot hurt.
This March I had to travel for an assignement to a different country. Though it was painful. I knew I had to do it to pay off loans that i had taken for my new home.
Before leaving I asked my OW to find someone for herself and not just wait for me...I told her that with a vvvvvery heavy heart...though back in my mind I thought I would come back and convince my parents. But by then her parents found a suitable guy for her and she got engaged.
It was probably the worst phase in my life. OW didnt want to break the relation with me and we have been friends till date. Though she felt bad about me and the situation I am in. I try to make a very happy face and try to be friends whenever we talk. Deep inside it is very painful. Sometimes it gets worse....I jst want to be with her.....Till date I am in the diff country..trying my best to forget her...and get on with life....but everytime i try..for somedays its fine...but I come back to where I was a few days later....It is very difficult for me to forget her...My feelings for her is very natural. She seems to have gotten over it....but She still have some feelings left deep inside her...her fiance is a well-to-do guy and gives her lot of love and affection. They would be marrying on Dec. I feel I am almost dead. Just don't know where do i go from here.....any advise would be most welcome....This is the first time i am blurring this out in open.......

How old are you?

Can the two of you go against traditions and arranged marriages? Can you live with the consecuences of not having your family on your side if you go back with her, but then find out if she is willing to leave her fiance and risk it all for you.

Otherwise go on with your life...

I guess I'm a bit confused and am curious about your ages as well. I mean 7 years is nothing! Would your parents have been upset if she were 5 years, 3 years or even 1 year older then you. I just don't get this honestly, 7 years is such a tiny age gap I can not understand why anyone would even blink an eye at the relationship.

:confused:

Okay just checked your profile so you are 27 and she is 34? Now I am even more confused. I understand that you want to make your parents happy but you are 27 years old, I guess I can not imagine letting my parent/s dictate my own happiness for me. It might make a bit more sense if you were 18 and she was 25 but even then the age gap seems so small to me. I dunno.

I do agree with Alta though, she is engaged now and moving on with her life. It would be very selfish to make any attempt to "win her back" now unless you were completly sure that you could handle any reactions that family/friends will have. She may not even take you back.

I am very sorry that you lost someone so important to you based on such a tiny age gap and I really do wish you the best in the future.

Thanks a ton for all your replies.....Alta and Lemon....Well I am 27 now and she is almost 34.....I knew it would be selfish of me to try and "win" her back.....knowing the fact that now she is happy and probably well "settled"...I really don't intend to do so.....And thts exactly the reason why I choose to hold back...and don't really let her know that I still love her like anything....

Even before I told my parents...i give a damn to this world....What mattred most to me were my parents sentiments and "my" OW..who was a princess to me and still is......I can brave any repurcations after that....well thts it...:)

I can now only hope to get out of this mess that i am in asap(Even after repeated attempts fell flat)...Well I really didn't have someone to pour my heart out....You guys have been really kind to me....with your suggestions and advise...Thanks once again!!!!

Your welcome!

Stick around for awhile! Even if your next relationship is with someone exactly the same age as you, this site may bring you a greater understanding of relationships that are not "same age". You will find many happy couples here with age gaps 3 times the one you shared with your ex!

Be true to yourself and find someone that will make you happy, whether they are 20, 27, 30, or whatever!