Move on or let it play out?

Hi all! Just found this site and boy am I glad. I am in need of some serious advice from others in my situation. Short low-down: I am 31 invovled with a 54 y/o man. He's amazingly wonderful. We are VERY much in love. He has 3 grown children, was divorced late in life after almost 30 years of marriage. I have two little kids, 6 and 4, was divorced after 10 years.

The problem: He is having trouble considering the idea of raising a second family; however, there are other issues such as my age, his kids, his family, etc. It's not just one specific issue, i.e. the kids, but that is a major one. I have not invovled my kids with this man yet because I don't want them hurt if we cannot pursue it. We have tried to cut this relationship off several times, but to no avail. We are so connected and tied into one another, but yet he can't see it in the future that we will wed.

My question is: Do I hang out and enjoy it or move on. The thought of not having him in my life is gut wrentching; and he feels the same. My kids are my top priority and that would be part of his job if we wed. Their bio dad is not in the picture except for about 4 hours one day a week. I am in so much need of advice. This is not a sexual relationship; never has been and won't be because of our faith and beliefs; we are christians and that is not an option until after marriage. I tell you that just so you know that is NOT what keeps up so much in love with one another. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I am glad to know there are others dating with such a wide gap in age. I look foward to any suggestions.

how long have you guys been together?
My fiance' and I have some blended family issues and our counselor said our relationship was fairly new and to give these issues some time to work out. (We've been together a little over a year)

We attend the same church and I grew up with his kids actually so we have known each other for many many years. He was divorced before me and after my divorce he quietly pursued me....not thinking I would respond. About 9 months of this, I accepted a simple, unofficial, no big deal date. It went from there. We always knew there was chemistry there, but thought that the age gap kept us "safe" like it wasn't a possibility. BUT here we are 6 months later in to our eyeballs trying to figure the whole thing out and what the heck we are gonna do with it. It's tough and we are struggling with it. It's like we can't let go but we can't hang on. WHAT DO I DO? I keep saying to leave it alone and it will work itself out as you have stated, but he's not so sure. He loves me dearly and has tried desperately to let me go, cuz he doesn't want to hold me back from others who might want to pursue me and a life of marriage with another man, but he CANNOT do it. I am so lost and confused and so is he. Just need some help here.

My issue is also a deal breaker for me...obviously not as serious as not wanting to raise another family but something similar. I have attached a link to my problem. This issue is very serious for me but I'm trying to give it time to see if it works out...if not then one day this may be our deal breaker.http://www.agelesslove.com/boards/showthread.php?t=28057

What exactly is your question? To end it now...or end it later?
if he's unwavering on his stance why prolong the inevitable?

What exactly is your question? To end it now...or end it later?
if he's unwavering on his stance why prolong the inevitable?

Ohiogirl, that's exactly my question. The thing is is that we have tried several times to end this relationship and we both end up caving. It's so tough and we don't know how to do it and make it stick. He is appearing to be unwavering, but he also has stated, that he "might", and I used that term lightly, change his mind on it at some point. Do I wait? Do I go? I am so confused. I don't want to be stuck here, but can't seem to get out of it either. Just a tough situation. Thanks for your help and sharing.