Is your ym kind to the elderly?

The other day J and I were leaving a theater walking in the midst of about 20 other people, all exiting at the same time. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a woman, probably in her late 60's, slip and fall to the ground. Many people (other ym,etc.) gasped in horror, but only J and one other lady near the woman dived in to try and break her fall. J caught her arm and prevented her head from striking the ground, but she was definitely down.

He kneeled beside her and put his hand under her head...talked to her quietly and asked if she was ok. She replied, "I don't know". (Everyone else besides her daughter-the other lady who tried to help- had pretty much dispersed by now). He asked her if she wanted to try to stand up, and when she said yes, he basically put his entire body weight behind hers and lifted her to her feet. She seemed dazed, but okay. He asked her again if she was okay...when she replied that she was, J said to her daughter,"Keep an eye on her for me, would ya?". He squeezed the older woman's hand, and we left to walk to our car.

J seemed pretty shaken. When we got to the car, he said, "I hate it when an elderly woman falls or gets hurt."

I was so touched, I can't even tell you. Here was my chopper-riding, pierced-eared, tatooed young man revealing his true self under pressure. Of course, I know he's a kind and gentle soul underneath the wrapping, but to see it so clearly in public just really did something for me. You know, those of us with a 20+ age gap all wonder from time to time what it will be like when we are much older....will our ym still love us if it gets harder, be gentle and respectful even if we age less gracefully than we hope to (health problems and such). Is their love -that seems to have so much staying-power now- really going to last through hip fractures or whatever?? It's just reality, and normal for us to think about.

Well, I think that my confidence level for J's long term commitment was confirmed at that theater. I figured if he has so much compassion and concern for an elderly stranger, why wouldn't that transfer to a woman he loves? I have noticed him treat his mom, aunt and grandma with such respect in the past, this was just one more confirmation that I have a great ym in my life!

What things has your ym said or done that confirms for you that he is in it for the long haul, regardless of what lies ahead with potential age-related issues? How does he treat other older women in his life-sphere? Especially for the many other 20+ age-gap OW on the board.... have you had these concerns, and if so, how does your guy put them to rest with sincere words or actions?

Not so long ago I was driving our vehicle along a busy road with my VYM in the seat next to me. Normally he drives but for some reason for which I cant remember I was driving. My guy was half dozed in the seat next to me, and as we were driving along I noticed a man sitting on the side of the road with blood all over his hands. I was a little shocked and splurted out Oh my gosh that mans bleeding over there, while at the same time tryin to keep my wits about me as I was driving.

My guy was instantly awake in a flash, fully alert looking around trying to find him, telling me to "go back, go back". I finally managed to find a place to stop and turn around and head back to were the man was sitting on the side of the road. We pulled over and got out of the car and was met with a man around 55-60, who smelled strongly of alcohol, who had slipped over on the sidewalk in the rain.

He had badly grazed his face, which was all swollen and lumpy and had majorly grazed his hands to the point the skin had split like cuts. And there kneeling beside this wounded man was my VYG gently encouraging the shocked and shaking elder to talk to him, so that he could see if he was ok, and to see how we could help him. My guy managed to calm the older man down, and get him to the point where we could take him home to get help. Previously the man had wanted to walk home, but it was obvious to us that even though he could still walk he was in no particular shape to walk all the way home.

After having helped the man into our vehicle and then drove him to his home and ensured that he was ok and able to get medicinal help, my VYM climbed back into the car all wet and a little weary but you could see the joy upon his face.

Looking at him at that moment I could see how tender his heart is for his fellowman. That I too know a loving wonderful caring man, who has love for me and our family but now I had experienced the love that he has for people, for those in need of care and help.

My heart swelled with love and pride for him, and swelled with an appreciation of him as caring and thoughtful person, I couldnt wait to kiss him on the spot!!!

Over our time together I have seen my VYM care for others, and as more days pass by and I see a consistancy of character and behaviour, I am reasurred that I have made the right decision in being in a relationship with a man a few years younger than myself, but also a man who in life years is still a VYM. The going has had tough times, it has had amazing and awesome times, and has also had times of mediocrity, but I have come to realise that I deeply love my VYM, and love passionately the journey of life that we are travelling together.:)

Mine cares for them on a daily basis, and has won the award the residents give for staff member of the month.

He brings me home little gifts like, crocheted from fruit bags pot scrubbers, and crocheted afghans.

It takes tons of compassion and heart to be able to take care of elderly and sick people daily, and I'm really proud of him for being able to do that. Many men couldn't.

I do joke that it's on the job training for when I'm old.

He's a good man.

lovely post, thank you ladies.

as you can see from my avatar, i also have a tattoo'd guy and who also just informed me that he would like some of his piercing's back after he is discharged from the military.

adam is also a deeply compassionate person, he has many actions similiar to the one referenced and i think what is common in our guys is an quality of self-less-ness.

they are lovely people and their age is just a number, they are guys with character and deserve to be loved to pieces because of it, maybe we are just smart enough to see these qualities and appreciate it.

My fella is outstandingly respectful for the elderly. Men and women alike. I have watched him do many wonderful and kind things over the years. Too many to name.
To steal what Bella said..."He's a good man.":)

Al also is a "good Man". He is the guy that always holds open the door for the elderly ladies & gents at the mall, helps them take out their groceries...just always there to lend a helping hand.

I think itis these qualities of character that make us attracted to these men in our lives....... period!

Rabbit

I hope I convey what I mean to in my reply.

One thing that I love about my husband is that age differences don't intimidate him or phase him. He enjoys people of all ages and doesn't really notice much difference in numbers.

Now. Would he have rushed to the elderly lady's side like J did? Mm. Probably not at first. But the only reason why he wouldn't is because it most likely would not have occurred to him. I am the one in our relationship who acts first and reacts later. HOWEVER, the fact that he sees this as something he can and should learn from me leaves me profoundly grateful. Too many people in this world are too busy focusing on self or too worried about "getting involved" to stop and care for others when they need it.

Hehe, my fiance is kind to everyone.

Just once I would like to walk into a store without having to wait for 5 mins for him while he holds the door for everyone!

But, he comes from good genes. During our visit at his mother's we were going down the street one evening and she out of the blue flips off her lights. I'm thinking what is she doing? At the next block there's some guy waving a sign from the sidewalk that says "LIGHTS!" on it. She slows down and waves and turns on her lights. He smiles and waves back.

Turns out the guy has downs syndrome (sp?) and he feels like he's doing a good deed by letting drivers know their lights are off. Everyday he sits there with his sign letting people know their lights are off. So everyday on her way home from work she turns off her lights the block before him. Don't know what I admired about her more at that minute. The fact that she does it or the fact that she took time out to make sure he was okay and heard why he does it.

Good genes I tell ya.

We were on the bus for a 3 hr trip back to the city.... the bus was crowded and we had to sit apart...me at the back and he at the front. Standing room only when a young woman carrying a baby got on. My YM was in the aisle seat, but there were about 4 other men sitting in all the seats around him....I was watching this and wondering who, if anyone was going to give up their seat for her when my man got up and gave her the seat. My heart warmed and melted. And he took the opportunity to look back and connect with me...with a smile. What a sweety. :)