exBF trying to destroy my self confidence

disgusted with board member reactions

Here's what I would do.

Check your "joy meter" with everyone you are with and see how it feels. The exbf sounds like he causes your joy meter to take a serious dive. What is he adding to your life? Is there any enhancement to your life? If you decide that he is "taking away" verus "depositing", I would either call it over with him as a friend ot take a break until he can get respectful. He is plainly jealous and that is why he is slamming you...why accept that below the bar behavior?
Your height and weight are perfect, too. Enjoy your new bf, he MUST be better than this last fool! Those closest to us are able to hurt us the worst. I'd remove him from that position ( of being close) and protect yourself and your future relationships.

LOL . . . your ex has had his ego busted!! :D Let him wallow in it. He's just jealous. Older men are the worst at being able to accept the older women/younger man relationship.

I wouldn't discuss it with him at all. If you want to remain friendly with him, tell him that subject is not open for discussion and then stick to that.

Carry on with your current guy and enjoy yourself . . . treat it like you would any relationship. And if it works, it works and if it doesn't, it doesn't.

But don't let the older guy harangue you about it. Cut him off completely if you have to.

Believe it or not, all younger guys are not in it for the sex. They truly appreciate and love older women!

Good luck.

Believe it or not, all younger guys are not in it for the sex. They truly appreciate and love older women!


One of the truest things I've ever seen written! I adore older women, for all sorts of good reasons.:D

When the Boy and I were getting serious, one of my close male friends told me that he thought I was being foolish and that younger men were only interested in older women because we are grateful for the attention and easy to sleep with.

Not only was this just plain nasty, it revealed some sort of insecurity on his part. It did undermine my confidence a little, but looking back, I realize he was 100% wrong about my relationship and clearly struggling with some issues of his own.

Of course, I'll never really know what they were because we're not close friends any more.

Perhaps you will have to give up on the idea of friendship with your ex. He isn't behaving like a friend but like someone who doesn't want you to be happy. If you don't have children together, you don't have to have him in your life.

You could try giving him the choice: act like a friend if you can or I'm not interested in being around you.

Whatever you do, don't let him and his ugly ideas about your boyfriend get in your head. You know what your relationships is, he doesn't.

Good luck.

My bf has a very strong position on ex-bfs. They are to be dropped. He tolerates my ex-husband because he understands that we need to talk about our son. Period. He does not communicate with his ex-gfs either.

I always thought that was kind of extreme but on the few occasions I talked to ex-bfs about my relationship they never had anything positive to say.

Since he is older, does that mean that goes for him when it came to you.

Was he in it for the sex? I would guess that he's thinking the same if he dates someone younger, or if an ow becomes interested in him.

Would the ow be in it for the sex since he would be the younger guy?

Sounds like sour grapes to me and they're really tasting bitter to him.

So now make a choice...and don't allow someone else to control your behaviour or feelings. Only you can give him that power and I don't understand why you wouldn't protect yourself and your relationship by allowing the ex to determine how your going to think and feel within the boundaries of this new relationship.

You can only control YOU....b/f or ex, only you determine how happy you're going to benefit from within where you're at right now, never another.

So decide because the only thing that will make your ex happy is to see you miserable...so why play into his hands, misery does like company, you know...let him find another?

Paris

Complete and utter SOUR GRAPES!!!

What a jerk! Guess that's why he's an "EX"????? **cough**

Hmmm.....5' 5" and 130? You're scrawny compared to me!! My fiance is 13 years younger (25), sexy as hell and doesn't care that - even before I had our daughter - I am/was quite PLUMP! :p

And if he's in it for the sex, ya coulda fooled me! I'm usually the one complaining we don't do it enough! LOL! :D

Your ex is an ignorant fool and JEALOUS!

Ouch. I wouldn't let any friend speak to me like this! He's said some really nasty and uncalled-for things there, and is speaking way out of turn.

If it were me, I would email him back telling him that my relationship is not his business and I take offence at the rude and ignorant comments he has made, and if that is the way he intends to speak to me as far as I am concerned this is not a friendship and I do not wish to speak to him again.

He probably has acted out of jealousy and anger but you don't need that right now and I'd step well away from him, at least until he gets over himself and stops behaving like an idiot.

I'm actually kinda with Sheila on this one, exs hanging around is usually bad news. Unless there are children involved I would personally not involve my ex in any future relationships.

I also agree that your ex is not being a "friend", who would talk that way to their friends? I liked the "joy meter" post also, if your new relationship is making you happy and your exa friendship is not, well you be the judge..

btw, hun 7 years is a tiny AG, enjoy yourselves!

I have officially ended any friendship with my exN.
The jerk actually is still focused on me dating a slightly younger (7 years) guy.
He wrote a 3 page letter about why I shouldnt date anyone younger than me.
Says he wrote it for my own good.
He also sent a mass 'Christmas' email to all our mututal friends about it.
Luckily my friends and even his close friends think its sour grapes and they actually all told me 'you go girl' and that I look as good or better than people a decade younger.
Thanks to him I am now determined to only date my age or younger FOREVER.
;)

Sounds like a nice guy! :rolleyes:

The joke in all this is he can talk about being immature all he wants, but his behaviour is.... :eek:

I agree. Sounds like sour grapes. Smart move on your part. Enjoy your new guy!

The man is jealous,but save us from such stiletto in the back behavior. I've had people in my life who have done this to me: I left and never looked back. So should you.
Ali

I am so upset. I really want to drop my exBF as a friend after this.


Forget drop. How about DROPKICK.

Let's clarify friend. Friend = someone who loves me unconditionally and wants my happiness. Is honest yet would never intentionally hurt my feelings. He doesn't sound one bit like that. A TRUE friend doesn't down their friend while trying to give advice.

Jealous...just a wee bit? He sounds awfully catty. Saucer of milk, table two, STAT!

what a f****** d***!!!!!!! :eek:

ok it's so obvious that he's insanely jealous!!!! he wrote a 3 page letter and sent an email to your friends about it during Christmas?? what an absolute outrage! it is none of his business and how dare he!!! :eek: :mad:

he's making a complete a** of himself and everyone can see that this is all stemming from his jealousy and has nothing to do with reality. don't think for a second that there is any truth in what he said.

it's too bad for him hon, dump his a** as a friend, let it be your #1 new years resolution.

also, he has no right to harass you this way. he is really bordering on obsessive, abusive behavior. you do not have to take this.

you know that he would date someone younger than himself in a heartbeat! this guy is a total joke. he just wants to put you down because he's threatened...nice guy.