Cinnamon
11-30-2006, 09:25 AM
Some of you may remember awhile back I asked for some wisdom about how to get family to accept an Age Gap relationship when they weren't particularly happy about it.
The biggest things that came out of that thread were that my guy needed to stand his ground with his family and that time would be our biggest ally.
I wanted to thank you again for that wisdom and let you know that things are getting better.
At my man's urging, I have been having regular contact with his mother (via phone and email). At first it was awkward but I kept at it (not being pushy but just friendly) and concentrated on some of the things we had in common. Recently his mother sent me a couple of small presents so I count that a huge victory. She's not completely happy with the relationship but at least she seems to come to terms with it and my guy says that she likes me even if she doesn't want to admit it.
I also got to meet his sister-in-law and brother when I visited him (we are in a LD relationship at the moment where we see each other for a few days once a month. In Feb. he's moving here and we are going to try living together.) His sister-in-law had been very opposed to our relationship before (calling it unnatural) and I was very, very nervous about meeting her. She was very polite when we met and I did my best to just be me. Eventually they invited us back to their house and we had a nice time talking. I count this as a victory as well.
I know the biggest thing they object to is his moving since he lives in TN and I live in CA, but at least now it seems like they have moved away from hating me and I'm hopeful we can eventually be friendly.
As many people here said I really think the big thing was how my man handled it. He just let them know that although he would love their approval it wasn't going to make a difference in whether or not he loved me. He said "You are going to be around for a long time so they just better get used to you."
Anyway... I just wanted people to know that what the women and men here say from experience really is good advice.
Thanks again!
The biggest things that came out of that thread were that my guy needed to stand his ground with his family and that time would be our biggest ally.
I wanted to thank you again for that wisdom and let you know that things are getting better.
At my man's urging, I have been having regular contact with his mother (via phone and email). At first it was awkward but I kept at it (not being pushy but just friendly) and concentrated on some of the things we had in common. Recently his mother sent me a couple of small presents so I count that a huge victory. She's not completely happy with the relationship but at least she seems to come to terms with it and my guy says that she likes me even if she doesn't want to admit it.
I also got to meet his sister-in-law and brother when I visited him (we are in a LD relationship at the moment where we see each other for a few days once a month. In Feb. he's moving here and we are going to try living together.) His sister-in-law had been very opposed to our relationship before (calling it unnatural) and I was very, very nervous about meeting her. She was very polite when we met and I did my best to just be me. Eventually they invited us back to their house and we had a nice time talking. I count this as a victory as well.
I know the biggest thing they object to is his moving since he lives in TN and I live in CA, but at least now it seems like they have moved away from hating me and I'm hopeful we can eventually be friendly.
As many people here said I really think the big thing was how my man handled it. He just let them know that although he would love their approval it wasn't going to make a difference in whether or not he loved me. He said "You are going to be around for a long time so they just better get used to you."
Anyway... I just wanted people to know that what the women and men here say from experience really is good advice.
Thanks again!